


Bending The Rules (REDUX)

by Tw1pad



Category: Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-04-24 08:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 67,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tw1pad/pseuds/Tw1pad
Summary: *completing the incomplete story originally published by BrendsBites* Ana Steele is a junior in high school, and like every other teenage girl, she's struggling to find herself. After an essay she's written for English, she catches the attention of her teacher, Mr Grey.*WARNING for notes of physical/mental abuse. Note CH 10.5 is a bonus and can be skipped because of sexual content.Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Christian G., Anastasia S., Jack H., José R.





	1. CH 1

Bending the Rules (REDUX)

 

Ana Steele is a junior in high school, and like every other teenage girl she is struggling to find herself. After an essay she’s written for English, she catches the attention of her teacher, Mr. Grey. He only doesn’t like to pick on her in class, but he also seems to like to exclude her from the rest of the students.  
**This original story was penned by BrendaBites, who has graciously allowed me to take over this story and make it mine. All other credits go to author E.L.James for her works. This is not for profit, and all mistakes are mine! ***

Ana POV

"Your class schedule," the lady at the front desk of the Student Services office says, handing me the papers, still warm from being freshly printed. "Have your teachers sign this one here, and bring it back here at end of the school day."

I nod as I whisper thank you. I look around the office, seeing old gray paint and even older staff. There must be someone here under fifty. I glance down at the class schedule, absently tucking hair behind my ear.

I am startled by a shout, calling someone over to me, "Jose, she's new here; give her a tour, will you?"

I turn toward the woman just in time to see a dark haired boy approaching me. "Certainly," he answered, showing a perfect row of white teeth.

"You're all set, Ana, and Jose will show you around before going to class." She glanced at her watch and frowned, "There's only about twenty minutes left of this class anyway."

I watched him as he stopped inches from me. On his shirt was a plastic rectangular tag that read 'Office Aid.' He seemed the overly friendly type; one whom I may even become friends with. "I'm Jose, by the way," he says, thrusting his hand out to shake.

I warily returned the handshake. Too close. Much too close. "Ana," I mumble. Jose catches my slight unease at the touch and smiles, pointing the way through the hall. As we walked the halls Jose would sporadically identify an office. "Here's the music room," he says.

"Cool," I respond. Jose is not catching my obvious lack of interest in this area. Yeah, as if I play. I am way too clumsy with instruments and any love of music that I had was beaten out of me.

Jose points out other sections: the nurses' office, the auditorium, and the gymnasium. "You don't take gym this year, do you?" Jose asks.

"No, I'm in my junior year," I state. Why he is so interested?

"Me, too; maybe we have some classes together. Let's see your schedule." Jose takes the schedule from me. Why is he so eager? I looked around the hall while he scanned the paper. This school is much older than my old one in Texas. The ceilings are high and the walls are bordered with fine oak trim and wainscoting. This place is beautiful. Maybe I can spend my free time here.

"Cafeteria is here," Jose points to a large well-lit eating area. There are round tables littered throughout the room and various vending machines at one wall.

"We only have one class together. That's too bad," he says, his words drifting off. "Your classes seem pretty good. You have all the smart classes."

What do I say to that? I force a smile. "Uh, Cool."

"Watch out for Mr. Grey though," he warned. "Most of the females are all over him but I don't see why. He is one scary fuck."  
His words brought me to attention. "Really?"

Jose nodded and handed me back the schedule. "My friend has his class and from what I've heard he's a total prude and really strict. Just don't get on his bad side." Jose paused and looked me up and down. "Actually, I doubt you'll have a problem with him."

What? I nod in agreement. That's me; invisible to a fault. No one ever sees me...

"Let's see, you have History right now, right?"

I checked the schedule, "Second hour?"

"Yes. We have block schedule, which is great since we get out early, but sucks if you're not a morning person."

"I have history then," I said.

"Let's go up to that class then," he said, leading me up the stairs. He explained how the class numbers worked, "Oh and the library is there," he pointed.

I glanced at it and smiled. It was like heaven and it looked much bigger than the one in my last school.

"Just go on in," Jose said when we finally reach the door to my class. "I have to get back to the office and we don't have much time left, but I'll try to find you during lunch."

"Thanks," I said, nervously clutching my papers. "I'll see you then."

With that said, Jose left, leaving me with no choice but to enter the classroom.

I take my first step inside, trying so hard to be silent. Extreme failure as about twenty pairs of eyes land on me. "What?" the teacher asks me from behind her desk. "Do you need something, young lady?"

"I - uh... I'm new," I fluster. I walk over to her desk and hand her the slip for her to sign and waited for instructions.  
She handed me back the paper and raised her eyebrow. "We have less than ten minutes left of class and I don't need you here."  
I blinked and caught off guard. "Oh… So do I-"

"Just go get the rest of your signatures," the teacher interjected and waved me away. What did I do?

Gathering my courage, I silently walked out. That was odd. Now what was I supposed to do? I wish Jose was there so I wouldn't be so lost and confused.

I began to aimlessly walk around the school searching for any classes I had that need teachers signatures. I should have paid more attention to Jose's tour. I wouldn't be in this bloody mess.

I had been quietly cursing with frustration when I was then instantly stopped. "What are you doing?" a sharp voice asked.

I looked up, shocked and a bit frightened, "Uh—" my response was caught like a thief in my throat when I saw who spoke. It was a tall handsome man dressed smartly in a gray suit and tie. His gray eyes were focused solely on me, as if he were inspecting me. I felt myself turn red, but still I could not make my mouth release any words.

"Go back to class," he said politely, looking down at me. He seemed as if he had taken pity on me.

"I- The last teacher told me to-"

"You're not supposed to be out in the last ten minutes of class," he raised an eyebrow. "What are you, a sophomore? You should know better by now." Well, so much for pity…

"I'm new," I said, and held up my new schedule as if that was all the proof needed to exonerate me.

He didn't look very convinced, "Just go back to class then," was all he said before walking away.

I let out a long breath. I have never seen a teacher—I guess he's a teacher—as handsome as him. He is certainly the antithesis of the entire old faculty here…

I chickened out and decided to fling myself into the first available bathroom and stayed there until the next bell rang.


	2. CH2

Bending the Rules (REDUX)

CH2

Ana POV

The day passes by too quickly and it was my last class of the day. It was now or never.

Mr. Grey. Mr. Hot-As-Hell Grey.

Jose offered to walk me to my class after lunch and I had gladly agreed. I am nervous enough to go to Grey's English class, and know I could use a friend. "Don't worry about it," Jose smiled, "He's actually not as bad as I made him sound."

I nod, but it is pure bravado. "I'm not worried," I lie.

He smiles with amusement, "Okay, sure." Together we climb the stairs and try to push past all the people who are blocking the hallway. "We have to hurry if you don't want to be late," he says, and takes hold of my hand and pulls me through the throng.  
I bite my lip and my body stiffens. Will it be rude if I pull my hand out of his?

"Maybe you should go to your class so you won't be late," I suggest, and hope that will distract him from holding my hand.

Jose shrugged, "She doesn't care if I'm late."

We walk the rest of the way in an awkward silence, and soon we reach a door at the end of the hall. "Here's your class, with a minute to spare," offering a little smile.

I smile back and this time and debated pulling my hand away. I know I will feel guilt if I rejected him again. "Thanks."

"Do you walk home?" he asks suddenly.

I nod, "It isn't far though."

"How about we meet here and I'll walk with you, I can show you around a bit, there's this really good burger place just-"  
His train of thought was interrupted by the bell. And I was saved by it… I point to the bell and give him an apologetic smile. "Let's talk afterschool."

Jose nods sheepishly but neither of us made a move to leave.

Not until a teacher shows up at the door. "Rodriguez," he warns, "Get to class, and get your girlfriend to wherever she's suppose to be."

I slowly turn around to face the teacher. I know this voice. I had encountered it earlier in the day. My cheeks are burning and I know I was turning beet red. I expect to see his face, but instead I meet with his chest. He had been right behind me, and he seems much taller up close. When I tilt my head up, I did not believe that I could turn even redder. "I-I'm not his girlfriend," I stutter, though I don’t know why I feel the need to tell him this.

"Mr. Grey," Jose smiled diplomatically, "I'm on my way to class; I just came to drop off your new student."

His gray eyes flash down to our still clasped hands. He raises an eyebrow and looks back up to me. He has the strangest vacant look on his face. What is his issue?

"You can go. Now," he adds icily.

"Right," Jose murmured, "I'll see you in a bit, Ana." Jose departs with a wave.

I look expectantly to Mr. Grey, whose eyes are fixated on Jose’s retreating form. He then shifts and looks back to me. His eyes are more intense than anything I’ve ever seen, and suddenly I feel the urge to run back to my counselor’s office to beg for a new teacher. I have never seen such stormy gray eyes.

"You're late," was all he said when he turned back around and motioned for me to come inside. "I assume you need me to sign something."

"Uh, yes," I struggled to pull out the sheet from my bag as I follow him to his desk. I try to ignore the class full of students who were most likely staring at me. I hand him the paper and he takes it without even glancing back.

"Take a seat Anastasia," he points to the desks while looking over my schedule. "The rest of you," he raises his voice for the entire class to hear, "Start on today's warm-up."

I stiffened and turned to the class. I did not want this attention. Rows of desks were already filled with students, but I distinctly noticed all seats near Mr. Grey’s desk were already taken by giggling girls. I scanned the classroom for any empty seats. There was only one available almost all the way in the back of the class. Mortified, I slowly made my way toward it, almost falling over someone’s bag on the floor.

"Careful there," a gentle voice said with a bit of amusement.

I cleared my throat quietly, "Uh, yeah. Thanks."

When I look up, I see the boy who spoke was the same one I was supposed to sit in front of. I sit down nervously and look around. Everyone was pulling out a notebook or writing down something. "Whoa, relax, I was kidding," the boy said, poking her shoulders. "You look scared as Hell," he murmured.

"I kinda am," I whisper back.

I hear him laugh softly, "Don't be; this class is great actually—if you don't mind the girls throwing themselves at Mr. G."

"I don't mind," I say, not turning to look back at him.

"Then you're good, besides it gets funny when he completely ignores them."

What do I say to that? "So um… what are we suppose to do?"

He pats me on the shoulder. "Here." When I turn around I see him handing me a sheet of paper. I take it even though I have had plenty in my bag. "Every day we have a warm-up which is to basically write something about a paragraph long and turn it in at the end of the week."

"Thanks," I say and turn forward.

"Prompts are there on the board," he added.

I look at the board and see three bullet points written in the most beautiful cursive: The Extraordinary, What Sadness Truly Is, and Is Death Final.

I choose the first one and begin to write. Luckily words come easily to me—especially with topics like the ones listed. I practically lived in the school library back in Texas…

"Anastasia," Mr. Grey's voice rang out. He waved the paper up once and placed it back on his desk, tacitly telling me to go get it. Really?

Trying to keep from grumbling, I walk up and take the paper from his desk. Why is he so demanding? "I'm printing out all the work you've missed. You have a lot of catching up to do."

My eyes shot up in surprise, "I have to do everything you've covered from the beginning of the year?"

Mr. Grey let his hands fall on his desk and pulled away from the keyboard. "You don't have to do anything Anastasia. You should be doing it, but if you don't mind taking English again next year, then tell me now so I won't waste my paper, my time, and my ink.” He clipped the words out, stressing each one clearly like a command.

"Ana," I challenged, “I go by Ana.” I will not be apologetic.

He turned to me with an incredulous look on his face, "Excuse me?"

"I mean—I will do my work. But I prefer that you call me Ana instead." 

He shook his head and focused back on his screen. Not sure with what I should do next I just stood there and tugged on the hem of my sweater. "Go sit," he ordered. "I'll bring your work to you."

girls next to his desk were smirking at me, obviously enjoying the spectacle. I’m so glad I amuse you… I walk back to my desk and attempt to avoid lingering stares.

"You know, it’s best if you just answer with a 'Yes, Sir' to anything Mr. Grey says," the boy behind me advises as I take my seat.

"I'll take note," I release a breath that I did not know I held. I look at the clock above the desk and wonder how long this Hell is going to last. 

 

Christian POV

I covertly watch Ana walk dejectedly back to her seat. I sense her unease and take no comfort in it. It’s obvious that she can’t see me, but I do not want other roving eyes witnessing this. I knew that I had a new student on my roster. Anastasia Steele. I was surprised however; that this is the same waif that I caught earlier roaming the halls. Even after I left her and demanded she go to class, I stopped around the corner and watched her. I had to berate myself and remember that she is a student.

But she instantly intrigued me; and this thought bewilders me. She is unlike the typical female students I teach; the insincere overachievers who shoot their hands up in the air to be the one to answer questions and the flighty blonds who slyly attempt force eye contact with their fluttering eyelashes. This is tiresome and I am neither flattered nor affected by it. It is mundane in its entirety.

She seems oddly oblivious. Her style is a total reversal from the others; severely outdated and drab clothing. Her clothes are ill-fitting. Either she lost noticeable weight or she is wearing hand-me-downs. Her tan shoes are simple Mary-Janes with scuffed toes. Her long hair is a plain brown and seems a bit unruly. She keeps it tied back in a simple band with jagged bangs sculpting her face. Her face is devoid of any make up. As if she needs it. Men and women both spend billions each year to achieve this, and Ana comes by this naturally. Her lower lip is slightly incongruent with the top, but the rouge in her cheeks is natural. But with all of these qualities she has a startling and understated beauty. I shake my head at the thought.

Her crystal blue eyes are so damn expressive. I have seen her startled; I have seen her angered. She can attempt to hide her nature by blending in with the woodwork, but her eyes can’t be muted. They are beacons in a rough sea. She is simply exquisite, to say the least.  
Seeing her holding hands with Jose shocked me. I was startled by the instant sting of jealously. I had a knee-jerk reaction that I quickly covered with my usual terse teaching style. I was fighting for control and even baited her by referring that she was Jose’s girlfriend. My inner green-eyed monster was slightly mollified by her denial of their relationship.

I called her to my desk; any reason to have her near. She had a hint of a soft floral scent which added essence to her body which was robed in such opposite dress.

The real surprise that impressed me was her steely resolve; it truly matches her name. Anastasia Steele. She took offense to being called Anastasia and had the gumption to correct me. Kitty who thinks she’s a tiger…

But sadly, all of this will come to nothing. She is a student and is beyond my reach.


	3. CH3

Chapter 3

Ana POV

I had just finished up my warm-up when I felt his presence. I peeked up through my hair—and sure enough—there he was walking down my aisle with papers in hand. I chuckle to myself. I guess I could see the attraction with how girls would throw themselves at him; he was perfect. Well, his appearance was perfect. His hair seemed to have specks of gold in it, though it was clearly supposed to be brown. Did he add highlights to that hair? He didn't seem too cocky, but he did seem so confident with himself. Maybe he did go and get work done on his hair. No one should have natural hair that was that gorgeous, especially combined with eyes as fierce as his.

"Anastasia," he said, once he stopped beside me. "You'll have until the end of the month to finish this. I think that's more than enough time." He placed the stack of papers on my desk.

It wasn't a short stack. I almost groaned at seeing this mass of assignments. 

What happened next was not something I had expected. His long thin fingers brushed against mine, and a jolt of electricity went through them. My eyes flashed to his, and blue was met with grey.

I pulled the papers toward me. "Thanks."

The first paper in the stack was a course syllabus. "That's what we'll be doing this term, and what you need to get for this class," he said softly.

"Mr. G," a voice called out, "I can't see the board."

With a glare and a sigh, Mr. Grey crouched down beside me. His body was now uncomfortably close. "You need to get that signed by your parent—"

"Or guardian," I interject. 

"Of course..." He reached for the papers and pulled the paper behind it out gently, taking caution not to touch my hand again. "That's a project you weren't here for. You have a computer at home right? The class website is on the first paper."

I did have one back home in Texas but I couldn’t bring it with me in the move. My mom’s new husband dictated which items I was permitted and prohibited to bring with me. It was out of the realm of possibility for Ray—who fished for leisure—to have any interest in computers, home internet, and wi-fi. Ray’s television was still a floor-model with rabbit ears!

"What?" He asked, seeing how my expression had encompassed a myriad of emotions.

"I don't have a home computer but I can go to the public library. I mean, I have until the end of the month, right? Jose may have one I can use." 

"You don't need to go to the library, just check the website from your phone or-"

I shake my head slowly. "No phone either."

He asked in slight surprise, "You don't have a cell phone?"

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. "Not anymore."

A look of regret flashed in his eyes. He must have known that this brief conversation would still gather the snarky interest from the vapid fan club that sat near his desk. I know he must feel like he offended me, but how is he to know? "Alright," he breathed out. "I was going to ask you to look for the instructions for the project, but you can stay after class and I'll explain it to you."

"Okay," I exhale.

"In that case, there's no point in explaining everything now, when I can explain it later," he said, rising up to stand up straight. "Is everyone finished with the warm-up?" he asked the class.

When the class answered, he looked down at me, "Did you finish the warm-up?"

I nodded and pointed to the paper. Please don't make me read it now, please don't mortify me any more than you already have... 

"Why don't you share it with the class then," he said and began walking back to his desk.

Eyes all around the classroom looked wide at me. He was picking me to read out loud? On my first day?

"Actually Mr. G," came a voice directly behind me, "Can I share mine first?"

I sighed with relief. At least I think I had a friend from class to count on.

Mr. Grey flashed his eyes from mine. "Go ahead Jack."


	4. CH4

Ch 4

Christian POV

I like this job; it was simple and pays well enough to get through. I don’t exactly need the money as my parents come from wealth, but I do like earning for myself. I was already saving up money for an idea for a start-up company. Elena—of course—had offered to help, but I don’t want to be beholden to her. She'd done enough for me over the years.

Jack had finished reading and that was my cue to continue, "Very good." Jack had great potential as a writer, but now it was time to see what kind of writing potential the bookish Miss Steele has. "Anastasia, it’s your turn to read next, please."

I watched as she picked up her paper with delicate hands and brought it close to her face. I didn't know whether or not she was trying to hide her expression behind the paper but I can clearly see it. I did my best to hold back a smile.

"I um… I chose the first prompt," she said softly.

"Speak up Anastasia, we can't hear you," I said, although I could hear her just fine.

She cleared her throat and raised her chin up higher, "I chose the first prompt," she repeated, her voice gathering strength, "About the extraordinary."

"Go on.”

"I like to think anything can be extraordinary," she began, "but then, wouldn't that make it just like the others? The definition of extraordinary is defined in its name; it means something that is well above than just so. Extraordinary is bringing an extra something—a certain je ne c’est quoi—to make it different, it's something unique—"

"What do you find extraordinary Anastasia?" I ask. I was surprised with my compulsive need to interrupt her for an answer. I could not pull my eyes from her.

She looked back; her blue eyes showing unease.

"Well?" You have indeed intrigued me, let’s see if you can defend and justify this work piece sample…

She shrugged, "Isn't that the great thing about life? We still have plenty of time to search for something that catches our attention. Even if life as a kid isn't the best, you can keep going, and then one day—if you’re really lucky— you'll look at something new and it'll show you why you've been trying so hard this entire time. It's all about perspective and circumstance—what is standard to others can seem extraordinary to you. I guess you can say that I'm still searching for that."

She'd never seen anything that really struck her as extraordinary? And what did she mean by not the best life as a kid; what in the Hell happened to her? She can’t have seen this much pain this early into her life. I nod at her and run my hand through my hair. This work she presented was simplistic in all expression, but her words expressed sincerity and rang brutal truths. Although there were hints of pain in every word, there were flecks of hope in them as well. This work is an incredible body of duality. "Well done, Anastasia, thank you."

I turned away from her but not before catching the sigh of relief from her.

"Now that we're finished with the warm-ups, let’s start with the real book. Pull out your books and open up to the story we started last class. Anastasia, the page is up on the board."

X x X

"Mr. Grey!" A voice snapped me from my concentration.

"Yes Lily?" I looked up from the papers I was grading. 

"Can you please help us with this question?" she pouted. 

Lily could be a handful sometimes, but I was sure she knew how to do the work. She always made excuses for me come over to help.

"Ask your partner, Lily; it isn't rocket science."

"She doesn't get it either," she whined.

Sighing, I put my papers down. "Alright, come here." I didn't miss the smirk she gave the girls behind her. "What don't you understand?"

She leaned over my desk, pushing her paper in front of me, "I can't find these answers in the book," she said softly, batting her eyelashes.

"That's because you actually have to think," I snapped. "Read over the last pages again; try to figure out what the author is trying to show you. How did the characters mature or change? It's simple Lily, just read carefully."

With a frown, Lily nodded, "Fine." Did she actually just stamp her foot like a recalcitrant child? She stomped back to her desk, clearly unhappy with my response. When was she going to stop trying to get my attention? I thought she'd be done with this by now—in all honesty I was getting really sick of it. I was never really attracted to redheads before, but I certainly have distaste for ones now.

X x X

From across the room, I overheard Anastasia giggle softly. I don’t know how I was able to extract this one sound from the entire din in the room. I look over to see her desk and Jack’s pushed together.

I scowled, angry that my green-eyed monster resurfaced. Didn't she have enough with Rodriguez? Did she really need Hyde too? Couldn't she find a bloody seat next to a nice and polite girl instead of that troublemaker Jack?

I swept around the class, looking for any possible seats for Anastasia, but they were all taken. I was never one to make seating charts. I opted instead to let students to self-nurture in their studies. But maybe I should start…

Jack wasn't the type of guy Anastasia should be around. She looked like she was nice girl who did her work and- either is late to class, or skips it completely...And do not forget, surrounds herself with boys. My over anxious mind reminds me…  
I scolded myself. I certainly didn't know Anastasia enough to know if this was true or not. I could try to find out, but why would I want that? No, I always believed there was a fine line between helping his students academically and intruding into their personal life.  
I knew teachers who tried to help their students on a personal level, but that didn't appeal to me. Not until now. I know some have slipped from that slippery slope and have paid dearly for their missteps…

I dropped my head and went back to grading. My concentration was lost since her giggle. Now all focus I have is on her conversation with Hyde. I was lost to her and instead of doing marking I was irritated by the fact that I couldn't join in. Irrational resentment is settling in…

"Anastasia," I call out loudly before I could stop myself. (There’s that compulsion again…) I look over and see her looking back with wide blue eyes. In fact, mostly everyone was looking my way now. "I let you partner up so you'd do your work together, not so you could socialize." I know my hold on this anger was tenuous.

Jack smiled back at me and it made me even angrier. Jack’s smile was never sincere; there was always something more sinister and dubious behind it. His smile never met his eyes. His was the only smile I knew that was more like a sneer. And of course Jack ass would be smiling; he was able to carry on a conversation with Anastasia. This is the same smile he offers Ana. She needs to use caution… "We finished our work Mr. G," and held up the piece of paper that was between them. 

They finished that fast? Hyde must have done all the work, rushing through everything just so they'd be able to talk more. "Bring it up, both of you."

Anastasia glanced at Jack with a questioning look. He only shrugged and stood up to approach my desk. Anastasia trailed behind.  
Hyde passed me the paper, and I was surprised to see it penned in two different handwritings. They'd both completed it together, but somehow that didn't make me feel any better. I scanned over the answers, secretly hoping to find any mistake in the messier writing that was recognizably Jacks.

No such luck, everything was perfect. "Good job," I conceded defeat. "But Anastasia, since you're done with today’s work, why don't I help you with your missing assignments now since there is time?" I have to intercede on her behalf…if only to protect her…  
She nodded, "Uh, sure. Let me go get them."

Jack rolled his eyes and headed back to his desk. I knew it wasn't appropriate but it still made me want to smirk. Match point goes to Grey…

Anastasia hurried to her desk and came back with the stack of papers.

"Come here, pull that chair over," I pointed to a single chair other side of my desk. She obeyed my instruction and sat down, but with a good distance between us. I tried not to be offended.

I began to explain in detail the work she needed to do. Most of it was self explanatory, but I want to make sure she understood it. At least that's what I told myself. I was only doing my job as a teacher. That's what teacher’s do, isn’t it?

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)  
Author’s note: I know Christian seems all over the place, but he is fighting dual emotions of what he knows is right versus how he can control these new feelings which he currently doesn’t understand… He knows Hyde is a danger and he can’t understand the intense feelings of protection that Ana needs…


	5. CH 5

CH5

Ana POV

everything was explained, I went back to my desk. I didn't know why Mr. Grey had to be so detailed with all the work, but maybe he was just a perfectionist. That seems fitting.

"Bell's about to ring," Jack grinned.

I glanced at the clock over the board and nodded. "We get out so much sooner than we did in my last school.”

Jack leaned closer, "Oh yeah, what time did you get out in your last school?"

"Three.” Here, we were already going to leave and it was only twenty minutes after one.

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Where exactly did you move from?" 

"Out of state," I hedged. I didn't exactly want to remember where I was from. Crap, crap, crap...I should have not gone here...

"Why'd you move so far?" Jack tilted his head, curiously.

"I wanted to move back with my dad." Why all the questions?

"I would have thought staying with mom would be more ideal." Jack commented quietly. "You know, because they're usually great cooks and all."

I closed my eyes. My mom was not the usual mom. Moms usually put their kids over everything else, but when she met husband number three, mom was not the ideal person to live with. I tried to put those memories aside; I came here to get away from that. 

I take it your mom isn't a great cook," he smiled teasingly.

I forced a smile. "No, my mom isn't exactly ...great at much anymore." I mumbled so softly that I don't believe that he heard it all. Hopefully... I need to be vague enough so that he doesn't ask more invasive questions. He just nodded and smiled. This smile is a little unnerving…

With that painful conversation done, we sat for a few awkward minutes until the bell rang. Everyone gathered their things and rushed out the door. Jack and I took a little longer since we had to put the desks back where they were. "We should hang out some time, maybe at lunch tomorrow?"

"Uh…sure. Why not?" I made the attempt at blasé, but hoped that it did not stir his interest even more than it already seemed. I turn to gather my book bag when I see Mr. Grey looking quizzically at me. Quizzically or perturbed…

"Cool, I'll see you then."

We were already walking toward the door, when we almost bumped into someone in the doorway. I recognized him at once. I know him from the counselor’s office. He was assigned to help me with course selections when I arrived. He was a soft-spoken Englishman who had an incredibly calm manner about him. It was easy for me to be relaxed around him as he had the most disarming presence.  
"Oh, Ana! How was your first day?" He stopped a good distance away from me and smiled warmly.

I didn't think he'd recognize me since we only had one appointment together and that he must assist hundreds of students here. How would he even remember my name? He even calls me Ana… "Mr. Flynn," I return his smile, "It was fine, thank you."

"That's great. We’ll talk soon.” He headed toward the head of the class. ”Have a nice day," he stated, the words softly trailing behind him.

Jack raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything about this exchange. Once we were out in the hall he started to leave, "See you later, Ana."

"Bye," I waved, going the opposite direction. Coming my way was Jose, smiling and waving. I had almost forgotten about our walk.

X x X

Christian POV

I was at my desk when Flynn walked in, "Christian," he greeted softy, "I see you're Ana's new English teacher."

I look up to give him my patented blank expression, the one that I typically reserve for my students. "You're the girl's counselor?" 

Flynn nodded, and I continued, "Then why act surprised? You gave her the classes didn't you?"

Flynn quickly looked back at the open door to the classroom, "Yes. That's why I came to talk to you, actually."

Sighing, I lowered my papers and paused. "What is it?" What is this really about? 

"Anastasia Steele just moved here," Flynn began.

"I think I caught on to that already." Where is he going with this? 

Flynn lowered his eyes at me, "Let me finish, Christian."

I waved him on as his hesitance is starting to concern me—especially since it involves Anastasia. I can’t show my interest in Anastasia…

"She's new. I had to pull a few strings, because I know she's a good girl," Flynn seemed to wait for my reaction, but when it was clear I wasn't going to give him one he continued. "She's a little behind, but I gave her advanced classes because of that—"

"If she's behind, she shouldn't be in my class John," I said, becoming confused now.

"I had to hold her back a year—"

"You aren't making sense.” I turned back to my papers. John would have a great poker face if he ever played serious cards. He is not one to show his hand—usually.

"Just listen. She missed a year of school," Flynn said quickly. "Her junior year, she had problems at home—"

"What kind of problems?" I blurted out. I frowned, knowing that this is not my business. "I mean- what problems could be big enough to allow your child to miss an entire year of school?"

Flynn shook his head, "That's irrelevant—" I want to push for more details, but decided against it. Flynn couldn’t tell me anyway; it was Anastasia's personal issues—not gossip— that could be shared with just anyone. I know that everything Ana told him was confidential. "But I do want to ask you a favour," he said. "I know you can be a bit tough with your students and although I know Ana could take it, I think it'd be best if you taper your usual teaching methods."

My face dropped, but then I quickly recovered, "I- John, are you asking me to be unfair with my students?"

"I'm asking you as her counselor not to add anymore stress to Ana's life. As a friend, I'm asking you to please just trust me. I know she truly doesn't need any more of it."

John quietly left the room, leaving me wondering what the Hell is happening with Anastasia.


	6. CH 6

CH 6 

Christian POV

I am in the epicentre of chaos.

All around me is foggy. I stand in the centre of a large room. People move so quickly that they blur—as if causing a wake of broken seas behind them. All I see is this sepia world as if all are captured on camera a moment too late.

The walls are veined tan and white marble and the stone archways rise to several feet tall. The carved keystones depict Roman mythological beasts; some looking replete, and others looking ferocious and ready to strike.

The room is devoid of sound. There is a bustle of people, likened to the frenzy of atoms. This is inconsistent with this atmosphere.  
Where am I? A museum? I glance down and the tile beneath me is the same streaked marble as the walls and it throws my reflection back at me.

A streak of colour like the smattering of red saffron on a painter’s palette catches my eye. It too, is impervious to this otherwise atomic frenzy. The image gasps, and I can hear this as it is the only sound tangible in this sepia-toned bleakness. Red turns and flees.  
I attempt pursuit but my heavy and sluggish legs are not responding. I reach my hand out—a futile attempt like clutching air.

Red is elusive and once again slips into the masterpiece…

I wake up startled. My heart is pounding and there is a bead of sweat on my brow.

X x X

Ana POV

I arrive to class with barely a minute to spare. 

No Mr. Grey today, I realise and feel a strange disappointment. Yesterday I survived his assignment sparring and I wonder if there is another teacher who can challenge me the same way Mr. Grey had. Today is going to be painfully slow, I just know it.

The classes did drag on and it wasn't until lunchtime that I felt awake. "You said your name was Anastasia right?" a girl with beautiful strawberry blond hair caught my attention.

I nod, "Uh yeah. But you can call me Ana."

"I'm Kate. Do you already have others you sit with at lunch?"

"No, not yet. My first day was yesterday."

Kate smiled and motioned for me to follow her, "That's great; you can sit at our table. How do you like it here so far?"

"It's okay so far," I murmured.

"It's pretty bad around here," Kate chuckled, "Half the students are morons."

We head down the halls to where everyone eats their lunch. "We usually sit by the vending machines," Kate pointed. "Oh, Jose is already there. You'll love him; he's a total sweetheart—“

I look over and saw Jose waving so I slowly wave back. "He gave me a brief tour on my first day."

Kate tilted her head, "Wait, yesterday right? Hmm… that's why he's been so cheerful!" Before I could respond Kate switched gears and said, "I'm going to grab a slice of pizza, do you want to come with and get something too, or just meet me at the table?"

"I'll meet you at the table." I hadn't thought to bring money. But it wasn't like I ever really ate at school much anyway…

"Okay, I'll only be a few minutes."

I nod and head toward the table where Jose sat. "Ana," he greeted me with a big smile. "Here, sit down." He moved the backpack he had on the space next to him. "How's your day going?"

I take the seat. "It's been good. How's yours?"

"It’s great—especially now. I didn't think we'd have both lunches together." He picked at the fries on his tray and took a bite. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Here," he smiled, pushing his tray between us, "We can share my lunch, I never finish it."

"I'm fine, really. But thanks."

"Did you have a big breakfast?" he asked, trying for a conversation.

"Uh… I actually didn't have time to eat this morning—"

"Oh jeez, no wonder you're so thin," he teased. "You’re wasting away!"

"I do," I flushed. I didn't want to seem like a person who starved herself. "I'm just not a fan of …fast food." This is like that crazy cafeteria scene in Twilight…

Jose didn’t seem convinced and reached into his pocket to pull out a crumbled dollar bill. "They have granola bars and stuff in the vending machines; I'll go buy you one if you like."

"No, no. I'm fine, seriously."

"—or chips. I think they have cookies too. The lines over there have salads—"

"Jose, I'm not hungry," I snap. I feel bad about being so brusque, but he’s being pushy. Just drop it…

He scratched the back of his head, "I just feel bad eating when you haven't had anything."

I bite my lip, trying to find a good excuse to say no. I look away from him for a second and my eyes land on fierce grey eyes. There he was, across the room, looking straight at me.

I quickly snap my head around and wish I was anywhere but here. "Actually, I think I'll get a granola bar after all."

X x X

Christian POV

I always bring my own lunch but with that cryptic dream I had, it shook me so much that I forgot to make one. I planned to go out to the nearby restaurants and buy something to go, but instead I decided to make my way to the lunch room. Some students had mentioned selling subs and pizzas to raise money for their sports team.

"I’ll have turkey." While the student reached back to grab the sub, my eyes wander over the cafeteria. There were so many students milling about, but I manage to instantly see only one.

Big blue eyes stared back at me before quickly turning away.

"Two dollars, Mr. Grey," the student said, bringing me back.

"Right," I hand him the money and glanced back to where the blue eyes had been, but now they were gone.

I could use something to drink. I walk in the direction of the vending machines. Before I reached them I spot Ana, trying to shove a crumbled dollar into the bill slot.

"Oh god," she whispered, pounding the glass face. "Damn, damn, damn him."

Who was she talking about? I glance back to the table she had been in before and frowned. Jose was sitting there, and another girl was just about to take the seat in front of him. 

"Is something the matter Miss Steele?" I ask before I could help myself.

Ana spun around her eyes were even wider than before. "What? Oh. No. I'm fine." Her cheeks turned a light pink and she turned back to try and insert the dollar again.

"It's too crumbled up," I murmur as I pull a dollar out from my pocket. "Try this one."

Ana looked hesitant. "No, thank you. I think I'm just going to head back—"

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "It's no bother. Just please take the dollar. Buy whatever it is you wanted to buy."

Ana shook her head, "Jose was the one who suggested I buy something here, since I haven't eaten anything, but I'm really not hungry. Thanks anyway." She turned around and quickly walked away, decisively ending this conversation.

I resisted the urge to stop her. My fingers itch to pull her back. Did she say she hadn't eaten anything? It shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, but I think it’s better not to dwell upon it. 

With a quiet sigh, I see the code on the screen. I put in a dollar and hear something drop with a small thud. I bend over and reach in to grab the snack that Ana was going to buy.

It was a small granola bar—not enough to be considered lunch, but it was something at least.

I head back and spot Ana sitting at her table again sitting by Rodriguez. She was fidgeting and keeping her head tipped down.  
I did something I never expected to do: I walked between the tables and made my way to hers.

The girl in sitting in front of Jose looked startled. "Eat something," I grumble, and drop the sub and granola bar in front of Ana.

I turn and walk away. If she can cut a conversation to the quick, then so can I… I was sure if I stayed any longer; I’d push Jose aside and sit by Ana to make sure she finished at least half of that sub.

I exited, my back rigid all the back to my office.

Ana is doing something odd to me.


	7. CH 7

CH7

Ana POV

Kate looked up at me, her eyes as wide as saucers. "Did Mr. Grey just buy you lunch?"

Jose softened, "Kate, stop."

I bite my lip, not knowing how to respond, was that what teachers in this school did? What is it with the people here taking my choices away? Jose presses me to get something, Mr. Grey too—and now he comes and unceremoniously dumps food at my feet. I try to control my embarrassment and hope it prevents my face from getting even redder. "I uh—"

"Don't listen to her. Kate is a journalist at heart, and she likes to spice things up by making them sound more than they are—"

Kate interrupted, "Oh no," she said while fanning her face with her hand. "If I add anymore spice to a story that includes Mr. Grey, then I'm going to need much more than just this water bottle to cool off."

Jose rolled his eyes, "And she's a bit of a drama queen too."

"I see," I attempt to laugh it off, but I was not the least bit convincing. "It's just a sandwich. He must be under the impression that I’m some waif or something." 

Kate shook her head, "Mr. Grey could care less about his students. He's all do your work and don't irritate me. He is one fine piece of ass but—"

"Kate," Jose scowled.

Kate raised her hands in supplication, "Sorry, what I meant was that Mr. Grey is fairly attractive, but he does miss one thing—and that’s a nice personality. He was such a big pain that I quickly transferred out of his class. I think there's still room, if you want to go talk to your counselor now."

"Kate is still mad at him for giving her a C on her essay," Jose explained.

"I still argue that it was A-plus material," Kate declared, pointing her well manicured finger at Jose. "Grey is just bitter about ... actually I'm still working on figuring out why someone like him can be so moody.”

"Maybe it's because the girls swoon all over him, and he's getting sick of it," Jose shrugged.

I try not to feel affected by that. He had given me a sandwich and a granola bar, but I wasn't surely swooning over him. Although he is handsome I am years younger than him—and way out of his league. I shouldn't even be thinking about these things.

"Are you still planning on eating that?" Kate asked, eyeing my sandwich.

"I'm really not that hungry," I pick up the granola bar, tear off the wrapper and begin to break the bar into little bite sized chunks.

"I'll take that off your hands," hands reach from behind me and grab at the sub. I relent and let it go before it could get squished. "Scoot over Rodriguez," the same voice orders, squeezing in between the small space beside me.

"Jack," Kate sighed. "What do you want?"

"I came to sit with my friend," he replied coldly, as he wrapped his arm over my shoulder.

I stiffened. He was way too close for my liking "Um…"

"Go away Hyde," Jose grunted. There was so much bitterness in his expression that I wondered why he was affected by this. 

Jack had already made himself comfortable with his backpack on the table and his head leaning against me. "Kate, unwrap the sandwich for me will you."

"You wish," she scoffed. She began to eat her lunch, ignoring Jack completely. "So Ana, made any nice friends beside me and Jose?"

"You’re looking at him, doll face," he said to Kate while he removes the wrap from his ill-gotten gain.

I purse my lips and wish that I’d just have taken the damn thing. Mr. Grey had bought it for me, not for some guy could swoop in and take it for himself.

"Jack is nice," I placate. Well he is when he’s not taking my lunch. 

Jack declared smugly, "See?"

"You're just took her lunch—" Kate scolded, "—without asking."

"She wasn't going to eat it," Jack argued. "But—whatever; I'll make it up to you Ana. How about I take you out to eat—my treat—tomorrow after school?"

Like a date? He wouldn't have asked so casually if it was. "I'm not sure… Kate what are you doing after school tomorrow? Maybe it would be fun if we all go together," I then turn to Jose for an answer too, but he was glaring at his lunch.

Jack shook his head, "I meant only for us to go together, just you and I. You know, so we can get to know each other better…"

Kate laughed, "Jack, she isn't like your usual girls, besides don't you think Elizabeth will get mad if you're taking another girl out on a date." She looked at me and stage whispered, "Elizabeth is his girlfriend. Jack here doesn't have the best reputation."

I look at Jack and remove his arm from my shoulders.

"Elizabeth and I are long over. Honestly." 

Yeah, right… I don’t really believe him but I don’t care enough to respond to it.

"Shut up," Jack laughed. "Sure I've had a few girlfriends but I don't think you calling me a ladies’ man is really an insult."

I quietly began to eat the granola bar and avoided their bickering.

"So what do you say Ana," he urges, "You and me after school tomorrow?"

I try to answer him, but with a mouth full of granola I end up just staring at him.

"Great," Jack smiled, obviously not caring what my answer would be, or maybe too self confident that he assumed I’d say yes. "I'll see you then." With a wink and quick kiss on my cheek Jack smiled his vainglorious smile. He stood up to leave and took the sandwich that had been meant for me.

"She didn't say yes, asshole," Jose shouted after him, but Jack didn't seem to hear.

"Don't tell me you actually want to go out with him," Kate frowned.

I struggle to swallow the food in my mouth and cough. "I didn't say anything!"

"I'll clear things up with him," Jose assures me, "I have class with him tomorrow morning."

"Unless, you do want to go…" Kate added, with a look of pure hesitation on her face.

I took another small nibble of my granola bar. I could go with him. It wasn't like I had anywhere better to go. "Um… guys, I think I'll just let him know myself."

"If you want to go out somewhere, Kate and I can always take you," Jose pleaded, trying to be nonchalant. "You don't have to resort to creeps like Hyde," he said, only half teasing.

"I'll keep that in mind," I laughed softly. I’ll hope for diplomacy…

The rest of the lunch was spent with just the three of us talking about silly things. Kate and I have more things in common than I would have guessed, so when she offered to walk me to my next class, I happily agreed. It felt good that I was beginning to make friends; it is about time I start to make things normal.

The bell rang and everyone walked slowly away from the lunch room, but Kate pulled me along quickly. "The key is to walk fast and before the halls get too crowded."

I nod, remembering how I had been late the day before.

"You said your class was upstairs right?" Kate pulled me into one of the downstairs halls. "Not a lot of people use the stairs in this building. It'll be quicker this way."

We walked through the halls and were in front of my next class in no time.

"See? With minutes to spare," Kate smiled.

"Yeah, thanks. Even the teacher isn't here."

Kate waved me off, "Should have known you had Mrs. Garcia now. She's probably running across the parking lot now. She's a nice teacher, always late though since she goes out for lunch. Next time you can walk me to my class to waste time, but I'll see you 'till then. Bye," she gave me a quick hug and turned to rush to her class.

I try to keep my eyes from looking down the hall. I know his class is down this way. I wonder what he would say the next time I saw him.

"Anastasia, what a surprise, you're early to a class," a voice said, startling me.

I didn't have to look in the direction of the voice to know it was him.

"Oh. Mr. Grey," I stutter. "I -"

He was standing by a door where I assumed was the faculty break room. "Maybe you could take the same efforts to make it to my class on time as well. I’m sure it won’t discommode you."

Really, one time. One time I was late.

"Maybe I’ll make it my goal," I reply, not really thinking. "Thanks for the sandwich by the way," I add.

Mr. Grey nodded, "It's not healthy to skip meals Anastasia."

"There may be something about it not being healthy to be scolded at by intimidating English teachers, but I'm not sure," I mumble into my chest.

"I'll look into that," he responded with a ghost of a smile.

I smiled back. I was surprised that he was not offended by my capricious behaviour. Did I just flirt with him?

He seemed to get himself together again and cleared his throat, "I'll see you tomorrow then. You might want to bring some of the work I gave you so I can start grading what you have ready."

Without another word, Mr. Grey began to walk down to his room, leaving me with a stomach full of butterflies.

Flirting with your intimidating English teacher is definitely not healthy.

X x X

Christian POV

I hurried back to my classroom, trying not to look back.

It seemed that her face brightened up with just a small smile. How could she possibly be having a rough time like Flynn had warned me? Was that why Ana didn't want to eat at lunch? It bugs me that I know nothing about Ana. No, what really bugs me is that I care so much.

She is just another student; not something I should dwell on.

When he reached his class, he saw another group of girls, all waiting for his door to open. Once they noticed him, they all stood a little taller, and put on their best smiles. None were as real or as bright as Ana’s.

I wanted to slap myself; I really have to stop thinking things like that. I run a hand through my hair and reach for my keys in my pocket. It took a while to get the door unlocked, but I hastened when the girls inched closer from impatience.  
It wasn't when I made my way to my desk that I noticed a text message.

Lunch later tomorrow? Let me know.  
E.

It was from Elena, and even though the idea doesn’t appeal to me, I literally cannot say no. It is usually just easier to abide by her wishes. I sigh and send a message asking where and when to meet just in time before the second bell rings.


	8. CH8

CH8

A/N: There may be a trigger to some of those who have faced this (physical abuse) in personal life; if so, I am dreadfully sorry. (Believe me; it's not for shock value. We need to know a bit of what is happening to the characters so that we can address behaviours and plots! Also, I have to go tinkering into some ugly and dark times in my past to dredge up emotions that would make Ana's memories realistic!)  
Sadly, there is no Mr. Grey in this chapter…  
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

Ana POV

When school finished I started to walk through the throngs of students and headed toward home. I inhale deeply and take in the pleasant fragrance of the 'just here and now'; it is such a luxury to be able to be leisurely strolling, instead of that absurd and frantic pace I had to pick up when I was back in Texas. This definitely wasn't like with mom when I had to hurry and get home before my stepfather did.

Ray had given me a set of keys to the house, so I'd naturally let myself in while he was at work. He made me feel much more at home than my mom and her husband ever had, and I couldn't be more grateful for the move.

I still recall that ugly memory of when I suggested the topic leaving home to mom. I really thought that I'd finally gained an ally, but I was not expecting to see the brief flash of guilt in her eye before it was replaced by fear. Fear for whom…

"What will Ed say?" my mom frowned. "Anastasia I don't think this is a good idea-"

I looked at my mother; my eyes broken and pleading, "He is being abusive, mom."

"He is not," she insisted. "You just have to learn to listen to him. He's a very strict man but he only wants what is best for us. I understand you may feel that way—but you have to try too, Ana." 

In that moment I was in a maelstrom of emotions. Time stopped; my epiphany roiling and coiling to the surface. Adrenaline, like sweet, sweet blood and salt coursed through my veins. My eyes hardened and my lips tightened into a hard line. I could not believe that my mom was even saying this! What is worse is that I think she really believes what she is saying is true. No matter what the outcome was to be, I still had this very moment. "Mom, its one thing to be strict, but he's just a tyrant! Making me miss school just for his whimsical beck and call? I'm units behind in math and I have a big test on a book I never even read—"

"Maybe you should stop wasting your time whining to your mother about me and start doing your work," a gravelly voice came from the doorway. 

I stiffened, but so did mom. The static in the room was palpable. 

"Jesus Ana, don't antagonize him," my mother hissed. Ed stood like a behemoth; his eyes are red and watery and his hands are clenched into fists. A monster in a ridiculous suit and tie forever burrowed itself in my memory.

"I'll take care of this honey; I've told you Ana just needs a little more discipline." He pushed off from the doorway and unlatched his belt and began to slide it from his belt loops. He then palmed the buckle and bound the leather tightly around his fist.

My mother narrowed her eyes at me and then backed away slowly. Pleading (or something close to it) hit her eyes and then instantly dissolved. I have no ally here; she will either leave me out of fear or by her general indifference. I searched down to the core of my being to find something—anything to make me braver. This is not going to happen anymore. I narrowed my eyes and forced myself to stand a little taller…

"I'm moving back home with Ray," I declared, but with a small quiver in my tone. 

Ed raised an eyebrow, "And who exactly—do you think—gave you permission to do that?"

"I called Ray; he said he's happy to have me coming back home. He already sent me the money I need to get there, so you don't have to worry about spending a friggin' penny!"

"You're not going," he ordered. "Besides, what's Ray to you? Nothing, that's what, he's not your father—"

"He's more of a father to me than you could ever be, you sick bastard. I don't know why mom ever married you, you slimy son of a bitch— if she ever knew what you do to me when she's gone—"

"Shut up," he interrupted. "You don't know shit." Spittle hung from his lip and he cleared it away with his sleeve. He started barrelling toward me like a locomotive. 

I felt myself go braver. I was ready to take whatever punishment he was ready to dole out; it was now or never, and I certainly wasn't going to stay here anymore. Freedom away from this man was small consolation of the impending pain I knew I'd receive. "I do. The only reason she believes all your stupid lies is—"

In a second's time the back of his hand struck my face. I subtly remember the bite of the leather and the sound of the air displacing and protesting as if it were insulted for the intrusion. My ears rang, instantly causing the automatic bodily response of tears to form in my eyes. It's odd the things like this that you remember…

I flew back and landed on the credenza. Broken glass embedded in my arms and hands. Little rivulets of blood trickled down my forearms and raced to be the first to fall…

I slowly peel my body away from the credenza and turn toward him. My lungs were wheezing and fought to suck in a breath. I staggered a bit but I had just enough balance to keep my stance. More trickles of blood flowed from my hairline and my eyes were still fighting to keep the teardrops from falling. I wanted to hold my palm to my cheek, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurt. I was close to losing it; the hard lump in the throat was a dull throbbing sentry at the gate always alerting to the presence of escaping tears. Besides, he'd done much worse to me already...

"She doesn't want to admit to herself of the monster you are," I laughed. There was no sane way to end what just happened, but hysterics were setting in and my only response was to laugh. It certainly wasn't funny, but it was either that or facing what I was feeling. Right now laughter seemed the best option. 

Ed didn't reply, he only glared and mouthed 'Just you wait'… 

I pushed my hair to the side, my hand leaving a crimson smear across my face. I looked at my mother. I cocked my head; the blank look in her eyes was confusing to me. I felt indignation in her lack of interference in what Ed was doing but my heart was saying that maybe she was too far gone and shut down to be any help to me.

Adrenalin is good. It's like heroin bubbling on the spoon. Both promise a sweet, sweet release. But they also leave you crashing with feelings of emptiness when all is said and done. It compels me to boldly stroll past him, bang him with my shoulder, and head to the phone. I booked the next flight to Ray's. I then call Ray letting him know when to expect me. I was so relieved when it was his voicemail that picked up. It took all the strength I had left to hide the pain and anxiety in my words.

Ed just stood there like a linebacker ready to tackle. He was panting and his hands were still leather-bound iron balls. My mother made feeble attempts to please and assuage him. She stroked him and made cooing sounds. 

This was my last night there…

I had no to time to let my cuts and bruises heal before I went to Ray's. I tried so hard to hide my discomfort, but the limping, the bruises, and the cuts could not be masked. I remember walking into the passenger pick up area and when our eyes met, I saw his hopeful joyous eyes take in mine and his face just sank. His eyes were soft with sorrow, but I saw the uncontrollable anger behind them. I thought that his anger would terrify me, but I know one inescapable truth; this anger was for me, not toward me.

His eyes were red; he opened his arms and embraced me. He just held me softly and didn't speak. I fought my tears again, but they weren't for me. They were for him; feelings make him awkward and I know he'd never want press for information. I know that Ray would take me home, tuck me in with a cup of tea on my bedside table and sit beside me letting me cry until I fell asleep. I know that he would wait for me when I was ready to discuss this…

"Ana!" a shrill voice broke me from my reverie. "God, you finally notice me. I've been shouting for a while now!" Kate threw her thumb back and wiped away a nonexistent bead of sweat.

"I'm sorry," I responded sheepishly. "I guess I was in La La Land." I have got to hold my defenses better and stop that particular memory from popping its head…

"It's okay," Kate softened. "You have anything to do right now?"

"Not really, no. Just heading home," I answered.

"You should come over," she grinned. "Ethan is back there getting the car but I came to find you, hoping we can hang out."

I tugged the sleeves of my down over my knuckles, "I don't know if I should. I have homework for Mr. Grey to complete."

Kate rolled her eyes, "We can do homework together. Ethan is bringing a friend over and it's only fair that I have someone there too. I can drive you back home afterward."

"Who's Ethan?"

"Oh, right, I'll introduce you when we see him, he's a tot—"

A loud beep came from a car, startling Kate by how close it came. "Kate!"

"—A total ass," she finished off with a grumble. "So, see—you have to come with me, please."

I wanted to say no, but I saw how Kate's eyes went into puppy dog mode and then the next thing I know is that I agreed.  
Kate and I slid into the back seat of the sleek, shiny car. I greeted the driver and he was just as beautiful as Kate. How can I possibly be in the same car with these beautiful people..?

"This is Ana," Kate informed, pulling her seatbelt over her. "Ana, that's my arse of a brother, Ethan."

Ethan looked up to his rear view mirror and mock saluted me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ana."

"Likewise," I mumble back.

"I'd introduce this dork but he's not important," Ethan said, tipping his head to the boy next to him.

"Oh shut up," the boy scoffed.

Kate didn't comment on that, "How much homework do you have to do?"

I shrugged, "An essay, some worksheets, a couple of readings-"

"You sure you don't want to transfer out? We can go to your counselor's office tomorrow morning and have Grey pushed out of your schedule like that," she snapped her fingers.

"Oh no, she doesn't have that asshole Grey does she?"

"She does," Kate grieved.

"Get out while you can, kid," Ethan said seriously. "He busted my ass all last year; I barely passed his damn class."

"He doesn't seem that bad," I murmured, only to get wary head shakes from both Ethan and Kate.

X x X

It wasn't long before I was sitting on the floor of Kate's huge living room, with my binder on my lap, and a tray of Chinese food beside me. I was becoming relaxed which was a welcome relief.

"Start with the essay," Kate suggested, taking up noodles with her chopsticks.

"The worksheets will be easier," Ethan said through a mouthful of food. He had since given up on chopsticks and reverted back to using his fork.

He and his friend had offered to buy Chinese and rent a couple of DVDs. And now here we are, Kate and I on the floor, and Ethan sprawled out on one couch, and his friend on the other.

"The essay will take up more time," I said, mostly to myself. "I'll start with this."

"Watch the movie," Ethan groaned, reaching out to take my binder. "We'll help you with your homework later, besides this isn't due tomorrow is it?"

I was beginning to vacillate; I wanted to impress Mr. Grey with how fast I was able to work but I also wanted enjoy my new found freedoms, "No, I guess not."

"So see, just enjoy the movie and the food," he smiled, tossing my binder to the coffee table.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

A/N:   
Mom needs a reality check –or an abuse counselor. She is beyond deluded!  
P.S.: I'm glad to see that Ana found the beginnings of her cajones! (She's still a little non-assertive to her needs, but still, hey…she's trying!)  
Before you all go vilifying me about this chapter, the realism, or that' a mom wouldn't behave like this…' I have first-hand knowledge of these things or have known friends of who have had this happen. I have a future storyline with mom, but for now she is in an abusive relationship herself and needs to sort her shit out before she can make peace and reconcile with Ana…


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here’s a big, fat, juicy Christian-filled chapter to make up for the anemic ‘no Christian’ chapter of last! LOL**

**I finally reread the entire 25 chapters that BrendaBites wrote! I know now remember why I wanted to take over her story! I really like it! Although I feel like it is taking forever for Ana and Christian to get together, but I guess good things come to those who wait… I’m toying with Elena and Jack pairing up… Those two rats deserve each other!! These two caustic characters will make for some good and creepy reading! Let me know what you think…**

**As always, thanks go out to my readers!**

**Also, I am so relieved not a single reader criticized the last chapter regarding the fight. I really thought that I’d have some interesting points to debate…**

**CH9**

**Ana POV**

I woke up the next day feeling lighter and more energetic than I ever have. I had even beaten the alarm clock _. I could have lied to myself and said I was always a morning person but the truth was that, today I’d have class with Mr. Grey. I’d have to wait all day for his class, but maybe I’d see him at lunch again._

I even considered packing my own lunch, then I could say to him, ‘See, I eat,’ but I knew I’d probably be too nervous to eat my food.

Instead, I got ready for school. After a couple of minutes I could hear Ray rummaging around in the kitchen. I pulled on a sweater and made my way toward the kitchen to see what he was up to.

"Ana," he greeted with a smile. "You're up. Do you want anything special for breakfast?"

I smiled back, "Morning Dad. I got it. Did you want eggs as usual or...?"

I have lived here long enough to know Ray had a fixed routine. He'd wake up, get ready, and make scrambled eggs for breakfast before going back to watch TV until it was time to leave for work. "You don't have to, I can do it-" Ray began, but I shook my head.

"I'll do it. Really, it's no problem."

Ray nodded, "Thanks, I'll start to heat up water for tea."

We worked quietly; something I loved. It was hardly quiet with my mom. Someone was always arguing, or my mom’s husband was pretending to be a good guy by starting a 'happy' conversation.

Once the eggs were done, I slid them into a plate for Ray, bringing out a mug for my tea.

"Do you want a ride to school?" he offered.

I quickly shook my head, "No thanks dad, I can walk. The school is close, way closer than my last school was." _My mom’s husband always said it would do me some good to walk to school. "She could use the exercise…"_

I could see in Ray’s eyes that he seemed to want to say something else, but he kept his mouth shut.

I fixed my tea and began to drink it.

I began to daydream about Mr. Grey and how I’d be in his class later. _Maybe he'd offer help on my essay…_

Wait. Didn't he say he'd correct some of my stuff today? I hadn't even worked on any new things.

"Crap," I groaned, putting my tea down and nearly running to the living room. I was glad I woken up earlier. I still had about half an hour before I had to walk to school. Maybe I’ll take up Ray on his offer to drive me to school.

I spotted my bag on the couch, where it was left last night, and pulled it open. The binder was gone.

"Damn it," Oh God, I’d left it at Kate's house.

"You okay there Ana?"

"Yes," I answered reluctantly. "I just left my homework at my friend’s house."

Ray paused but then said, "Can't you call her to meet up at school and give it to you?"

I thought back, knowing I wouldn’t see her today at lunch. I wouldn't see her until tomorrow.

"I don't have her number," I sighed. The perks of being phoneless; I never bothered asking for numbers. "It's okay, it wasn't very important anyways."

I went back to the kitchen feeling deflated; my happy daydream slipping away like wet sand hesitantly being pulled back into the sea.

**X x X**

"Was it due today?" Jose asked as he walked me to my last class.

"Well, not really. I don't think so."

Jose shrugged, "Then don't worry about it. He won't be mad at you or anything. Listen, I want to ask you if you’d like to—"

"Hey Ana!" a familiar voice shouted from the end of the hall, loud enough that everyone turned around.

Ethan was standing so close to Mr. Grey's room, I wasn't surprising when the man himself walked out of his classroom and met my eyes.

I would have been relieved to see Ethan, if I didn't have Mr. Grey next. "Ethan," I smiled, leaving Jose behind to go to Ethan, who was holding out my binder.

"Here you go," he said, passing me the binder.

“Thanks, you saved me; I needed this today!”

"Anytime. You should come over again; I promise I'll remind you to get your stuff this time."

I grinned, "Maybe some other day when Kate needs me!"

"Busy today?" Ethan asked, curiously looking back at Jose, who was rolling his eyes.

"Yes," another voice said. "We're going out after this," Jack said, pulling in next to me and wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Jack, about that-I don’t think…" I began, before Mr. Grey interrupted.

"Are you planning on attending class today? Or should I start making passes for the Dean’s office?"

Ethan looked warily at Jack and back at me, "Seriously?"

"Yes," Jack answered. He was tightening his harm and it was getting incredibly awkward.

"She never actually answered," Jose said to Jack. "But whatever, I'll see you later Ana." He turned around and left, not letting me say goodbye.

"Yeah, I have to go too Ana. Let me know if you can come over to hang out again," Ethan told me, although he emphasized the last part for Jack.

"Anytime now," Mr. Grey nearly growled.

I could feel my cheeks burning. "We're coming," I muttered and pushed Jack away a bit.

**X x X**

**Christian POV**

I trailed in behind Jack and Ana, my hands were feeling shaky like they did when I was a teenager and was about to start a fight.

So far my day was running smoothly. I was sitting in my class finalizing plans for a business proposition when I heard a loud commotion in the hallway.  I thought that it was the typical rowdy student nonsense, but I distinctly heard someone calling out Ana’s name. _This_ I had to investigate.

There stood Ana next to frustrated and defeated looking Jose. Ethan was holding a binder out to her as she approached him. Lastly, a cocky and overly assertive Jack comes and puts his around her waist! _Does she not see the attraction she has to the opposite sex? Inside I am growling. My resistance to her is hanging by a thread as I try to size-up the competition. I catch Jose rolling his eyes at Ethan and I see Ethan eye Jack and Ana warily. Wait - How does she even know Ethan?_

Ana was walking back to the desk she sat in, but I hated the fact that Jack would be right there behind her. Enough to get close enough to lean over and catch her unique fragrance and close enough to blow cool wisps of air caressing her nape.   _Maybe he'd whisper things in her ear, or talk about what they could do in their date._

"Everyone stand up," I said suddenly.

Students exchanged looks, and even I wanted to face-palm myself.

"Clear your desks, we're going to get a seating chart."

Ignoring the groans from the kids, I scanned the desks and tried to seem indifferent.

One by one, I called people up and pointed to a desk for them to sit. I began in the row farthest from my desk, giving Jack his seat in the back.

When there were only a handful of students left, he pointed Ana to the seat Lily use to have. He expected her to have some kind of reaction, whether it was a happy one, or an annoyed one, but she didn't. Her face seemed blank, not caring at all where she sat.

It disappointed him slightly, but it was also a relief that to Ana, sitting next to Hyde wasn't that big of a deal.

Maybe she doesn't care about Hyde at all, I thought. Looking back at Jack, I smirked noticing that Jack obviously cared. He had his arms over his chest, and his lips in a tight line. _Fifteen - Love. Point goes to Grey!_

I assigned the rest of the students their seats and went to sit down at my desk. Ana was looking at the walls of the class, anywhere but to me.

A hand shot up, "Mr. Grey, I can't see from the back. I need a seat up front."

Lily, of course. "Right," I murmured. He had her in one of the last seats of Ana's row, but he wasn't going to move her up there. "Jase, switch seats with Lily."

While they moved, I told the rest of the class to work on the warm up he had up on the board.

He went on with the class as he always did, occasionally glancing back at Ana to see if she was understanding. There was just one time when it seemed she wasn't paying attention. "Anastasia," he called out.

Her head shot up, and she dropped the pencil she was doodling with. "Yes?"

"Did you hear what I was saying?" he really hoped she did.

Ana eyed the girl next to her, as if hoping she'd tell her what it was I was talking about. "Sorry," she ended up saying as her cheeks turned red.

"Pay attention next time," I tried saying sharply, but it didn't come out like he wanted to.

Anastasia wasn't the least bit as interested in me as I was in her. I’d have to stop being such a creep.

I cleared my throat and went back to teaching; feeling the big blue eyes that were now clearly fixed on me.

Once the lesson was over, I went back to my desk. Everyone began to talk, and some were moving seats to be with their friends.

"Ana," he said, "You can start giving me some of your work. I'll begin grading it-"

"Actually, I haven't had a chance to work on much of it. I can turn the completed ones in tomorrow."

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow, "You haven't had a chance? I guess spending time with all those boys keeps you busy enough right?"

Ana opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

I let out a heavy sigh, "Forget it."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, fidgeting with the ends of her sweater. It fit her a bit too big, maybe an old hand-me-down. "I have a few worksheets done," she said, opening her binder. "I just - I left it at a friend’s house, and-"

"That boy, Ethan, you left your work at his house?"

I imagined the boy sweet talking Ana, and I didn’t like it one bit. _Wasn't she already going on a date with Jack?_

"Well… yes but I only went to hang out with Kate, his sister."

So she wasn't there for Ethan, but she was still going on a date with Jack.

"Hm," was all I could say; I tried to think of something else to say, anything to keep the conversation going, but my brain was a bit fuzzy.

"Ana," Jack smiled, he had slid into the seat next to her. "I was thinking, we could go to a restaurant but maybe we could-"

I made myself stop listening, I couldn't be acting this way, especially not with my own student. I glanced up one last time, and saw Ana was watching him nervously.

Her eyes were a clear blue, unlike any other. Her teeth were chewing on her bottom lip, and I had to blink a couple of times before I forced myself to look away.

Out of every woman who's thrown themselves at me, I’d never paid any attention to any of them. Not even Elena made me feel like this. I remembered how she had helped me as a teenager.

Could Ana use my help too? I fervently wished she did, but as soon as the thought came to me, I flinched. Anastasia wasn't like me; she wasn't as fucked up as I had been. She deserved better than what I got.

The bell rang and Jack and Ana were the first to leave.

I tried not to feel offended, but I didn't try to keep myself from thinking of all the insults I’d throw at Jack if I were allowed.

"Knock, knock," a saccharine sweet voice said playfully when all the students were gone.

"Elena," I nodded, beginning to put away my work, and shut down my computer.

"Looking handsome as always Christian," she smiled, walking towards me in her black suit. "Are you ready to head out? Some of the teachers were talking about a place nearby," she scrunched her nose up. "I doubt it'll be very good, but I've been meaning to try it."

I sighed, and stood up with my stuff, "I don't care Elena. I was going to call and cancel, but it got past me."

Elena raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Did something else come up?"  


_More like, someone else._ "No, no," I fixed my tie, "I just haven't felt myself lately."

Elena smiled again, "We can fix that Christian, no need for lunch formalities."

I pretended not to hear her unspoken offer, "We can have lunch Elena, but afterward, I'd like to go home and rest."

**X x X**

"Did it occur to you, you'd have to know where a place is, if you were planning to eat there?" I said through gritted teeth. I had been following Elena with my car, and it seemed like she was only going in circles.

"Oh Christian, we got here didn't we?" she waved it away, waiting for me to open her door.

I did, walking in after her.

The place was too warm, and dimly lit. I guessed it was meant to look more intimate but now it only made me want to go back home.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be," Elena said, ignoring the waiter who was standing right there.

"Table for two?" the waiter asked warily.

Elena nodded and the boy began to lead us to the back.

I wasn't paying any attention - not so much to the surroundings, and definitely not to Elena who was commenting on the place again, but something seemed to snap me back.

It was a giggle, one that was not too high pitched, but soft and warm. I recognize this giggle from class.  I looked back to see who it came from, though my heart was doing that tugging it did when he was near Ana.

She was sitting opposite Jack, beside the table that Elena and I was being lead to.

"Are there any other tables available?" I ask the waiter.

The waiter blinked, looking around nervously for a second before answering, "No, sorry Sir."

Elena took her seat, "What is it Christian? Don't like these seats?"

Instead of answering, I looked at the waiter, "Can't we switch with someone?" My voice must have carried, because Ana's giggles stopped, and she was now looking stiff.

"Oh crap," Jack mouthed, with an almost grin. I am close enough to see him speaking. "Never mind," I grumbled, taking the seat opposite Elena, which was also the one beside Jack.

I hear Jack laugh quietly, and hide behind his menu like Ana was doing now. If she hadn't been hiding from me, I would have found it amusing.

The waiter left the menus on the table, and Elena eyed them distastefully.

"Know what you want to get yet?" Jack asked Ana, stifling in another laugh.

"Something small, maybe a salad," she answered.

"Christian?" Elena said, louder than she usually spoke.

"What?" I blinked.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" she lowered her eyes at me.

I hadn't even realized I was ignoring Elena.  "Sorry, I guess I'm still a bit distracted."

"I'll give you something to distract you," Elena purred.

My jaw tightened, _don’t say that here!_ Anastasia was only a couple feet away. _What would she think of me?_

If I wasn't straining to hear what Hyde was telling Ana, I wouldn't have heard what he whispered to Ana. "I can give you a distraction too," he said, and though he sounded like he was only joking, I wanted to shove Jack away.

Ana laughed uneasily, "No thanks, I think I'll stick with the salad." _Burn! Take that Hyde!_

"Are you okay Ana? You were so relaxed a second ago," Jack said, and then added in a quieter voice, "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

_Please don't._

"No," Ana answered too quickly.

"Then maybe I should break the ice or something," Jack said mischievously.

"What?" Ana asked, before Jack spoke up _._

"Mr. Grey, didn't think we'd see you here."

Elena looked up, her eyes disapproving.

"Hyde," I answered curtly. "Likewise."

Ana blushed, hiding further behind her menu.

"Anastasia, pleasant surprise," I said softly. _Please stop hiding your face from me._

I heard Ana clear her throat, and saw her lower her menu. Her eyes looked even bluer against her flushed skin. "Um. Yeah, same. I mean- It's a- a pleasure to see you too- I mean. Um.." she raised her menu a bit, looking more nervous than before "See anything you like?"

I smiled, "I do."

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So sorry for the long delays in getting this chapter out! I was touched by a few readers who messaged me asking me if everything was all right. There were delays because I had a lovely child from France stay with me for 3 weeks so I took time off work to show him around my province. Also I am almost done renovations to my kitchen and bathroom. (light grey walls and dark grey floors – is this a pattern? I already have two shades of grey painted in my bedroom...) I should be able to get 11 and 12 out quicker than not! Another urgent spur was from a guest who stated “I know you like to do things slow, but it’s been long enough! Please release something soon!” LOL, I agree… I am home today preparing for Thanksgiving Dinner, so on breaks I can finish this chapter up! P.S.: I make a mean pumpkin cheesecake!**

**But I digress… *smiles***

**CH 10**

**Ana POV**

I wasn't sure how I’d be able to answer to Mr. Grey’s comment. I just simply couldn’t. I heard his implied innuendo, but my brain failed to function enough to respond. _What were the odds of bumping into a teacher on a date, especially with a blonde goddess whose lips are written in crimson sin…_

_How could he overtly say these shocking words to me with that- that woman on his arm? She is flawless and wearing designer clothes that I could not even hazard a guess the cost on. And she has the China doll skin and professionally coiffed hair. I look like someone’s poor cousin and I need to get out. Now._

I can’t help but look down at my Salvation Army bin finds and Wal-Mart clothes. (When I can afford even those) At school they seemed fine to wear, but here my wardrobe selection is more than perfunctory. 

_Why the Hell was I unable to say no to Jack? I was able to finally gather the courage to say no to that asshat mom married, but yet I cannot even scrape up the assertion to say no to him.  He had been tirelessly persistent until I decided it was easier to just give in. Besides, the alternative was staying home doing nothing but homework. Now I am stuck here in an awkward date seeing Mr. Grey and_ his woman _together._

I now realize how stupid I was to accept this date. I should have listened to that nagging gut feeling from earlier. I should be at home alone instead of being here witnessing this fiasco. _His date seemed a little older than him. And why was he there with her and just openly flirted with me? This is a little more than I can endure._

 _I guess I can take a hint. So he likes older women_ …

X x X

I could hear his date still talking to him seductively and I couldn't deny the small bit of happiness when it was blatantly obvious that he wasn't paying any attention to her. I chanced a quick glance at him to notice him stealing a glance my way too.

The waiter came, took their order, and then quickly shuffled back to the kitchen.

I glanced again at Mr. Grey and tried to figure out what he could be thinking. _Maybe he was just as embarrassed as I was. Maybe he wished we’d leave already so he could focus on his date._

I looked back at Jack and I realized he must have asked me a question because he was expectantly staring, as if waiting for an answer.

"I’m sorry. What was that? I got a little ...distracted."

Jack shook his head, "Nothing. I'm just admiring. You're just so beautiful."

 _Ugh… How many times had he used_ _that_ _on girls?_ It didn't sound like he actually meant it, more like it was scripted. "Um… thank you?" It was so hard not to roll my eyes at this feeble attempt. This date is going nowhere fast.

I could have sworn I heard a snort beside us. It is obvious that Mr. Grey and his date were near enough to hear Jack’s compliment.

Both Jack and I turned to see it came from Mr. Grey.

His date was looking at him with squinted eyes. "Christian," she warned icily.

"Sorry," he said, laughing a bit more and looking towards me, then back at Jack.

I was convinced that his eyes softened when they landed on me.

"Hyde, it surprises me the way you think Anastasia has to be told how beautiful she is."

I began to blush again, something I was doing way too much of lately. Jack, on the other hand looked like he swallowed an insect. There was a brief flash of unexpressed emotion that crossed Jack’s eyes when they flicked to _the woman_ before it faded to a calm mask. 

"Christian," his date repeated, this time more forcibly. I took a quick peek at her to see a deep Arctic glare. I was so glad that it was not directed toward me.

Mr. Grey only shrugged and turned lazily back to his date, "I'm only saying I think she can do better."

"Better?" his date raised an eyebrow, talking quieter. Her red-clawed manicure gripping the linen tablecloth betrayed her calm demeanor.

"So he's weirder outside of school? That's unsettling," Jack uttered.

I turned back to him and smiled weakly at his retort. I could tell that he was still reeling from the snide remark that Mr. Grey made. I wanted to hear what else Mr. Grey and his date talked about but they seemed to be only moving their mouths but the sound was muted.

"That was different—" I heard Mr. Grey say, raising his voice a little.

I couldn’t listen anymore. I didn't want to pry into their business, especially while they were clearly about to start arguing.

"Okay, this is reaching a whole new level of weird," Jack flouted with a smile as he nodded over to them. It seemed a bit odd that he seemed to find the situation funny. "Maybe we should take the food to go. We can go back to my place and eat."

The chair beside us screeched across the tile and nearly tipped over as Mr. Grey abruptly stood up. "Excuse me," he quavered and walked away stiffly.

Jack eyed Mr. Grey’s date and then suggested, "Maybe, I should go ask them to start making everything to go."

I bit my lip, "I don't know… eating at your house… Are you sure your parents won't mind?" I hope he says yes. _I really need an excuse to say no without hurting his feelings, even though this date is like a bullet train careening off a cliff._

Jack snorted, "My folks don't give a damn what I do. Besides, I live with an aunt; she's out all afternoon and wouldn't bother us even if she was there."

Seeing the look of uncertainty in my eyes, Jack grumbled, "We'll just be eating Ana; don't tell me Kate's rubbed off on you already. She's such a prude."

 _What did being a prude have to do with anything_? I sucked in a short breath. I want to tell him no, I do not want to go back to your place, _Hyde_ , but of course, I flounder. "I know. I’m not sure if I can… Never mind, I'll go ask for the food." I stood up and headed toward the front counter.

I could feel Mr. Grey’s date's eyes on me. I felt the little hairs on my nape pulling away as if her hands were already on me. The cloying looks she gave to Mr. Grey lingered like sticky toffee and I was feeling nauseous. I looked back at the tables and Grey’s chair was still empty. _Had he left already? If he had, why was she still there?_

"Leaving already?" Mr. Grey startled me. His path intercepted mine as I was near the front counter. His hair looked even messier; his face was looking a bit pale, and his frantic eyes too wide.

He looked... scared.

"I- I'm going to ask for the food to go." I stare into his eyes and they are beseeching. I want to explore the depths and understand what he is trying to say. Here is this strong and confident man reduced into a broken and sad child. _Here is this man who only a few minutes ago was sitting with a Greek goddess…_

"You didn't agree to go to that fool’s house did you?" he spat, his grey eyes hardening, and the color returning to his face. His hands were clenching and he was starting to vibrate.

"We're just going to eat," I tried to reassure him, but he saw through my bravado.

 "Anastasia Steele, for an almost eighteen year old, you don't seem to know boys very well." He paused and then softly added, “Your naivety astounds me.”

_Naivety? And how does he know my age?_

"Elena and I will be leaving now," he sighed. "You don't have to leave. We're sorry we interrupted your date."

Mr. Grey ran a hand through his hair, making it even more dishevelled. He turned away from me, looking flummoxed.

I feel compelled to make him feel better. _It reminded me of long ago when I tried saving a baby bird that was lying beneath a tree. Ray said I couldn’t save every fallen robin... I feel the pull to comfort him, but holding him is very inappropriate..._ "Can I be honest with you?" I whisper and then release the breath I was holding.

His eyes snapped back to me, looking hopeful.

"I didn't really want to come anyway," I confessed. “I wish I could have said what I wanted to him sooner.”

Mr. Grey's lips twitched up, "I find that hard to believe. I thought girls your age loved to go out."

"Girls my age; I doubt that you're that much older." I played for acting affronted but my escaping smiled betrayed that. 

He rolled his eyes, "Of course. Either way, I thought... high school girls," he corrected, "Like to be taken out to eat."

 _I thought that over, and I didn't hate it per se; it was flattering to be asked out, but it would be greater if I actually liked the person._ "Maybe if it was with someone else..."

"Did you not enjoy your date then?" Mr. Grey hedged, sounding both teasing and hopeful. But maybe I am imagining the last part too.

"It was pretty uncomfortable but then you came."

Mr. Grey’s mouth opened a bit, and then he smiled, "And made it even more uncomfortable?"

I grinned, "So much more extraordinarily so."

He laughed softly, (no doubt remembering the topic of my first oral presentation) but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His body seemed a bit more relaxed and the vibrations had stilled.

"But also kinda interesting; too bad you're leaving," I add, biting my lip. I hope I wasn't being too blunt.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Too bad... It really was a nice surprise to see you here Anastasia."

I try to smile again, but I even know it doesn’t look real. _How can I say goodbye to another fallen robin?_

"Christian, you wanted to leave didn't you?" his date called out. She was already standing at the door, her eyes narrowed in on me.

"Yes," he answered, keeping my gaze.

I try to ignore both of their gazes. It was weird to have two people look at me so intently.

"You can go Elena. I don't think you need me to start your car do you?" His voice seemed short and sounded rushed.

Elena clenched her jaw and walked out without another word. Just briefly I swear I saw her and Jack locking eyes in an unspoken moment.

"Well," I stuttered, "I better go and tell Jack we should stay."

Mr. Grey nodded, and began to take a step for the door. "I'll see you at school Anastasia."

_I shivered at the way my name rolled off his tongue. I never really liked my name, but now I am really starting to…_

"Bye," I paused and slowly turned to walk back to the table.

"Oh—and Anastasia?"

"Yes?"

"You don't have my class tomorrow, but if you need help on any of the homework, you can come to me at anytime. Do you have any open periods? Or maybe before and after school? I hardly go out to lunch, so you can come then too."

I smiled, "Thanks, I'll see." I turned away from him again and walked faster to the table as if it would make my heartbeat go any slower.

**X x X**

**Christian POV**

I watched her walk back to Hyde. I felt like it was goodbye, but it isn’t quite a goodbye. _Was this what jealousy felt like? The fact that I always want to pummel Hyde within an inch of his life to stay away from Ana is becoming all too enticing._

Instead, I try to focus on the hope inside me. _Maybe I wasn't the only one who has a heart that clenches every time we see each other._

What Elena said earlier was right, and even though I didn't like that; I wasn't going to deny it any longer. It scared me to be feeling this way, but the thought of not acting on it made me even more scared.

I held my breath and walked out of the restaurant.

If Ana feels even remotely close to what I feel, I’d surely see her tomorrow. I had offered her time whenever she was free. I even said I never really went out for lunch, though this was a white lie I know that I can overlook it just this once.

I hoped she'd be there tomorrow.

 


	11. Chapter 10.5

A/N: Here is a bonus chapter. We’ll call it ‘Chapter 10.5.’ I had a long and thorough poll regarding the validity and importance of seeing the restaurant scene totally created in Christian’s POV. (Well, okay; I polled myself and I agreed unanimously!) I hope that it does not disrupt the flow of the following chapter too much! Besides, we need more ‘fallen robin Christian’ as the last chapter was so little in his POV!

P.S.: Ana will find her assertion; I sick of her being worried about hurting Jack's feelings. (She confided in me that she wants **_me_** to say it to Jack for her! LOL)

 (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

**CH 10.5**

**Christian POV**

“Knock, knock,” a saccharine sweet voice said playfully from the doorway when all the students were gone. _Was it too fleeting to wish it was someone else calling out to me..._

“Elena,” I nodded and began to put away my work and shut down my computer.

“Looking handsome as always Christian,” she smiled, walking towards me in her black suit. “Are you ready to head out? Some of the teachers were talking about a place nearby,” she scrunched her nose up. “I doubt it’ll be very good, but I’ve been meaning to try it.”

I sighed and stood up with my stuff, “I don’t care Elena. I was going to call and cancel but it got past me.”

Elena raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Did something else come up?”

 _More like someone else_. “No, no,” I fixed my tie, “I just haven’t felt myself lately.”

Elena smiled again, “We can fix that Christian, no need for lunch formalities.”

I pretended not to hear her unspoken offer. “We can have lunch Elena, but afterward I’d like to go and rest.”

 

**X  x  X**

“Did it occur to you; you’d have to know where a place is if you were planning to eat there?” I said through gritted teeth. I had been following Elena with my car and it seemed like she was only going in circles. _You'd think she'd use the damn GPS system in her car instead of all this meandering around._

“Oh Christian, we got here eventually didn’t we?” She waved it away and waited for me to open the door.

I did and grudgingly walked in after her.

The place was too warm and dimly lit. There was soft lilting music playing in the background that was oddly soothing. I suspected that this was meant to be for intimacy but now it only made me want to go back home.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” Elena said surprisingly while ignoring the waiter who was standing right beside her.

“Table for two? The waiter asked warily. I didn't think he was accustomed to having his restaurant insulted nor was he impressed with being ignored.

Elena nodded and the boy began to stiffly lead us to the back.   

I wasn’t paying any attention – not so much to the surroundings, and definitely not to Elena who was making disparaging remarks about the place again, but something I heard snapped me back. 

It was a tiny giggle. I recognized _this_ giggle from class. I looked to confirm from where it came, and I just knew it then that _she_ was near. I feel my heart doing the same tugging it always does when I am near Ana. I felt my breath catch and I was unsure what to do; I am here with Elena and all I want to do is go to _her_. And I know deep down that this lunch with Elena can be easily misconstrued. _How can I convince_ _Ana that this is **not** a date?_

I look over and see that she was sitting opposite Jack, beside the table to where we were being led. They were sitting at a small table with crisp white linens. There was an unlit candle and a small pink peony in a water bowl vase. There was a low hanging light fixture throwing soft light down upon them. The light haloed Ana but then it seemed to cast an ugly shade of green on Jack. Looking at the décor, I can see why this place would appeal to Ana; there were soft armchairs and sofas placed about the room. There were multitudes of shelves and bookcases crammed with hardcover books. _This would be her sanctuary._

I slowed and tugged the waiter's sleeve and quietly asked him if there were any other tables available. _If we must be here, I think that it would be less stressful on both sides if we weren’t seated so closely._ The waiter blinked and looked around nervously a second before apologizing that there weren't any.

We arrived at the table and Elena was about to take her seat. “What is it, Christian? Don’t like these seats?”

Instead of answering, I leaned into the waiter, "Can't we switch with someone?" My low tone must have carried, because Ana's giggles stopped, and she was now looking stiff.  Her lips were frozen into a gasp and her eyes tore away as she thrust her menu up.

"Oh crap," Jack mouthed, with an almost grin. I clearly see the surprise in his eyes.

"Never mind," I grumbled, taking the seat opposite Elena, which was also the one beside Jack. _Maybe this won’t be as bad as it seems; I am seated closer to them now than in class. I can at least try to overhear their conversations…_

I hear Jack laugh quietly and mimicked hiding behind his menu like Ana was had done. If she hadn't been hiding from me, I would have found it amusing.

The waiter left the menus on the table, and Elena eyed them distastefully. _What is with Elena? She is usually a gracious dining companion and even though I do not want to be eating here with her, she is acting out of sorts. She seems tetchier than normal._

"Know what you want to get yet?" I heard Jack chuckle as he asked Ana.

"Something small, maybe a salad," she answered. _Was she put off from eating because I am here? I rarely see her eat at school and I am not overly surprised that she wants something as small and less filling than a salad. But at least it’s something._

"Christian?" Elena said, louder than she usually spoke.

"What?" I blinked. I focused back in on Elena, willing myself to recall what she was saying. I was all for finding a way to speed up this lunch date so I could duck out and go home, but now I find that I am all too interested in staying. _After overcoming the initial shock of seeing Anastasia, of course!_

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" she lowered her eyes at me. “Do you not even want to be here?”

I hadn't even realized I was ignoring Elena.  "Sorry, I guess I'm still a bit distracted." Her red lips were pouting in the seductive way which I only ever saw… _before._

"I'll give you something to distract you," Elena purred and nibbled her lower lip. Her hand slid under the table and stroked my thigh. I instantly grabbed her hand and gently put her hand back on the table.  

My jaw tightened, _don’t say that here!_ Anastasia was only a couple feet away. _What would she think of me? No more innuendo. Please let it rest, Elena. All of that was in the past._

If I wasn't straining to hear what Hyde was telling Ana, I wouldn't have heard what he whispered to Ana. "I can give you a distraction too," he said. _I don't care if he was only joking I still wanted to shove Jack away from her._

"No thanks, I think I'll stick with the salad." _Burn! Take that Hyde!_

"Are you okay Ana? You were so relaxed a second ago; do you want to go somewhere else?" Jack inquired.

"No," she declared and that slowed the spike that just shot through my heart.

"Then maybe I should break the ice or something," Jack said mischievously.

"What? NO," Ana hissed before Jack spoke up _._

"Mr. Grey, we didn't think we'd see you here," Jack said in his smarmiest tone. He seemed to enjoy this situation way too much. He faced me and inched closer to Ana at the same time and I was not impressed.

Elena looked up, her eyes disapproving. Her lips were pursed and she seemed to be including Jack in this glare.

"Hyde," I answered curtly. "Likewise." My hackles are up and I am outside the security of the school to be able to rein in my temper as easily. _Why is she here with him? I guess the same can be said of me. Why am I here?_

Ana blushed, hiding further behind her menu.

"Anastasia, pleasant surprise," I said softly. _Please stop hiding your face from me._

I heard Ana clear her throat, and saw her lower her menu. Her eyes looked even bluer against her flushed skin. "Um. Yeah, same. I mean- It's a- a pleasure to see you too- I mean. Um…" She raised her menu a bit, looking more nervous than before. Her skin was flushed but so sublime. She was captivating and so devastatingly beautiful. She was wearing the same clothes from the school day. Her sweater was a little worse for wear, but it seemed not to detract from her beauty; if anything it cradled it. Her sweater has a low scoop neckline and the straps of her undershirt were visible. Her collarbone peeked out from its hiding place. Before I think that she could help herself she blurted out, "See anything you like?"

I smiled, "I do." 

I wasn't sure how she’d be able to respond to my innuendo. Inside her head I could hear the gears and springs starting to grind and would eventually start ticking again. I was more surprised with myself that I said this for all to hear. I know that I will hear about it later from Elena, especially based on the chidings I’d received already.

She gained some composure, but deep down I sensed that she was not very comfortable. Was it because I am hindering her date? Is it because I openly flirted with her being here with Elena? I know enough about Ana that she may feel insecure because of her lack of funds and her dowdy clothing. But nothing can be further than the truth; she is beautiful in everything she wears.

Even now I gaze at her. Her hair is pulled back in a messy knot and her escaped tendrils snake their way down her neck. He porcelain neck is slender and swanlike.

… _I could stroke her neck gently with my fingertips - or better yet slowly trail my nose from her collar bone to the hollow behind her earlobe. Here is where I would collect her unique scent and bottle it forever in my memory. I’d give a little nip enough to cause a small gasp or moan – enough to steal a kiss- before ending my travels on her eyes to gently kiss them closed…_

Initially dreading meeting up like this I now feel it is a blessing. After witnessing the amount of boys who are vying for her attention, it is a special treat to get to see her in this intimate environment away from the confines and structure of class. Even now when I look at her, as when I saw her earlier with Jack, she looks uncomfortable. Maybe _it’s not me …_

A song in the background captures my attention. I pause and listen to it as it is voicing what I dare not say myself…

…I may never ever find an answer

 I may never ever find a cure

 I may never risk another lover

 Oh, believe me…

 

 …I may never ever walk on water

 I may never ever walk away

 I may never get the chance to tell you

 Oh, believe me.

 Oh my heart, I want you to be strong, I need you to be all I believe in…

 

…I may never wait to see tomorrow

 I may never live to seize today

 I may never ever ask forgiveness

 Oh, believe me…

 

 …I may never ever rise above you

 I may stumble as I lose my way

 I may never find the words to tell you

 Oh, believe me…

X x X

The waiter came to take our order.  I was not overly hungry and chuckle as it reminds me of how Ana is with her seldom eating habits. I choose the first item on the menu. Elena chooses fish – I think- I’m not really concerned. The waiter quickly shuffled back to the kitchen.

I glanced again at Ana and tried to figure out what she could be thinking. _Maybe she thinks I am embarrassed. Maybe she wished we’d leave already so she could focus on her date._

"I’m sorry. What was that? I got a little ...distracted." I heard Ana say _. Maybe she is thinking of me too…_

Jack shook his head, "Nothing. I'm just admiring. You're just so beautiful."

I couldn’t help the derisive snort from escaping. I see Jack and Ana both turn to me with surprised looks.

Elena broke my stare with her piercing eyes. "Christian," she warned icily.

"Sorry," Another laugh escaped as I looked towards Ana and then back at Jack.

"Hyde, it surprises me the way you think Anastasia has to be told how beautiful she is." _Ugh… How many times had he used that on girls?_ _It didn't sound like he actually meant it, more like it was scripted._ It was so hard not to roll my eyes at his feeble attempt. Even Ana’s response was lackluster.

Ana was blushing. I loved that colour on her cheeks. _If I had my way she’d blush all the time._ Jack, on the other hand looked greener than that unflattering light above him was. I can only guess that he was not impressed with being called out on his foolish compliment. There was a brief flash of unexpressed emotion that crossed Jack’s eyes when they flicked to Elena before it faded to a calm mask. 

"Christian," Elena repeated, this time more forcibly.

I shrugged and turned lazily back to Elena, "I'm only saying I think she can do better."

"Better?" Elena raised an eyebrow, talking quieter. Her red-clawed manicure gripping the linen tablecloth betrayed her calm demeanor. _It is interesting that the light thrown from the hanging light fixture does not flatter her either…_

“Christian, this is not appropriate behaviour. Behave.” She straightened up and calmed herself once more. “What is it with you and _her? “_ She is a student at your school and if I am not mistaken- here on a date.”

Elena and I have once had a past that was short-lived but tumultuous. We have travelled past that and I feel that she knows all of my innermost thoughts and demons. I feel I can trust her with what I desperately want to tell her. Keeping my feelings tamped in a box about Anastasia is killing me. “I feel something for her,” I whisper and shake my head. “I can’t stop thinking about her and I don’t know what to do.”

A volt went through Elena and she simply stared for a moment. After her pause she simply stated, “You can’t be serious. She is too young—“

“And I wasn’t too young for you?” I spat. I was trying hard to keep my voice low and keep these secrets from Ana. _She doesn’t need to hear about my demons…_

Elena looked like she wanted to disagree. She was truculent. “No. You were perfect, Christian.” She smiled then but it wasn’t genuine. “You were eighteen. You hit your sexual peak and I was there to catch you.”

My thoughts roiled. For the first time in six years I feel shame in what we did. I was a rebellious teen with raging hormones and I wanted to fight the world. I was full of piss and vinegar and was over flowing with hate and distaste.

“’You loved it Christian, you know you did. I found you in the middle of the night on a darkened side street drunk and angry looking for anyone to fight. I took you back to my place. Need I remind you what we did?”

_I am so ashamed and angry. I can’t seem to reconcile the two feelings. I can be angry at her words, but I am the perpetrator of these events and have to own up to them._

Elena continued on, “I took you to my bedroom and peeled off your vomit-speckled clothing. I left you in your underwear. You were in no shape to fight me off, not did I think you had the inkling to want to refuse me.” Elena had her eyes closed as if she were remembering a delicious memory _. To me, hearing this only made me sick._ “You were so angry. I knew just what you needed… what you wanted…”

“I pushed you back on my bed. I took the scarves from my dressing table and secured your feet and wrists to the posts. You were too delirious with rage and lust that all you would do was thrash your head side to side. I brought a cold compress and wiped your face and neck. You calmed. You whimpered and asked me to help you. You knew enough to trust me…

“I stripped down to my camisole and panties. I crouched on the bed and gently kissed you from your navel to your creamy throat. I then slipped a purple silk scarf around your eyes. You were blind and gave into your lust and your anger.

“You whimpered when you knew I left the bed. I started the stereo and you stiffened. You knew something was going to happen, but the suspense in not seeing it was what terrified you. It’s what also intrigued you…

“You gasped when you felt the whisper of the flogger on your chest. I trailed it from your belly up to your neck. I then trailed it down to your lower region. You were hard and straining to escape your briefs. Your open mouth and writhing body told me you acquiesced to what I was offering. There were glass and plastic beads pressing their weight upon your sweat-glistened skin. You flinched when the flogger left your crotch to be slapped against your chest. Oh, that was a beautiful sight, you know. I still think on it fondly.  Your nipples were tight beads and your skin flushed a beautiful pink against your creamy pale skin. I gave you a total of five counts and you were beautiful…

_I wanted nothing more than to just shut her up. If I close my eyes I can pretend that this conversation and that night ever existed. I peek over to Ana and she looks like she wants to escape too…_

“I lowered down and slowly pulled your shorts down. Your cock was glistening and needed release. Your moans were a mixture of yes and no, but you didn’t say stop. Yes and no to me are the same during these sessions; yes keep going, no don’t stop…

“I took the flogger and ran it across your crotch. You were straining up to meet me and to beg for release. I had to put you out of your misery…

“I grasped you and took you into my mouth. Your moans were a benediction. You did not take long to welcome your release, surprising with the amount of alcohol you had imbibed.

“You and I both knew something in you changed that night. I untied you and you were incredibly subdued. I took your anger away and allowed you to feel lust. For a brief moment I took that dark passenger off your back. You found a relief that did not involve fighting. You gently wept and I know it was from the release and freedom and not from my actions upon you. I then called a cab, swatted your bottom, and sent you home.

“And now you want _her_? She sneered as she tilted her head toward Ana. Her face was getting red and she was having a difficult time reigning in her temper.”

"That was different—" I spat and my voice raised a little. “That was before I knew that I could be with a woman without the trappings of what you call ‘release’.”  I shook my head, “You ruined it for me, you know. I have not had any serious relationship since then. I need to try to tell her what I feel for her.”

She declared, “But you always came back to me. You were addicted to me; think about that…”

“Elena, we’re going to have to agree that I wanted out long ago and that I want a genuine relationship with someone and pure as Ana. I want her. I need her. She doesn’t need to know all this shit. It’s all history now. I can only hope that she can feel an iota of the same for me someday.”

“Have you forgotten the consequences if you tell her? YOU are her teacher and she is only a teenager. This will jeopardize both your teaching career and your reputation. Are you ready to throw that away for some _girl_?”

“I am trying to make plans to remedy that. I have plans starting. I was going to approach you or my parents for a loan, but I think that this can wait a bit until you and I calm down and can speak more civilly to each other.”

Elena softened, “She’s only going to hurt you. All those women after me all did. Don’t forget that.” She reminded me that she was always there to make me feel better…  


I couldn’t speak anymore. This lunch did not go in the direction that I planned. I have no idea why Elena is dredging up the past. She’s always kept that topic of conversation alone for a long time.

"Maybe we should take the food to go. We can go back to my place and eat."

Jack’s statement brought me out of my poisonous reverie. My chair screeched across the tile and nearly tipped over as I abruptly stood up. "Excuse me," and I stiffly walked away.

X x X

"Leaving already?" I startled Ana as she was heading to the counter. My path intercepted hers as I waited patiently to get her alone.

I know what I must have looked like. I was frantic and I was pulling my hair out by the roots. Having heard what Jack said to Ana rocked me. I had to get out. I know I am helpless. I know what I said to Elena was of my choosing, but I cannot control Ana from seeing Jack. It was a knee-jerk reaction and I was pacing like a caged animal and my palms are sweating.

"I- I'm going to ask for the food to go," Ana softens as she looks deeply into my eyes and she is no doubt taking in my state. I must look a mess to her. This is not the cool and confident demeanor she sees at school. _But as we know; we’re not at school…_

"You didn't agree to go to that fool’s house did you?" I spat. My voice is coming out too angry but I don’t want to make her uneasy. My hands were clenching and I was starting to vibrate.

"We're just going to eat," She tried to reassure me, but I saw through her bravado.

 "Anastasia Steele, for an almost eighteen year old, you don't seem to know boys very well." I paused and then softly added, “Your naivety astounds me.”

“Elena and I will be leaving now," I sighed. "You don't have to leave. We're sorry we interrupted your date." _I know I have no claim on her and she is free to do as she pleases. But that is not to say that it still doesn’t hurt…_

I ran a hand through my hair, making it even more disheveled. I turned away from her and tried to hide my pain.

Can I be honest with you?" She whispered and then released the breath she was holding.

My eyes snapped back to her. I was feeling hopeful that this mess of a meeting was not all for nothing.

"I didn't really want to come anyway," she confessed. “I wish I could have said what I wanted to him sooner.”

"I find that hard to believe. I thought girls your age loved to go out."

"Girls my age; I doubt that you're that much older." She played for acting affronted but her escaping smiled betrayed that. 

I rolled my eyes and played along, "Of course. Either way, I thought... high school girls," I corrected, "Like to be taken out to eat."

"Maybe if it was with someone else..."

"Did you not enjoy your date then?" I hedged, sounding both teasing and hopeful.

"It was pretty uncomfortable but then you came."

My mouth opened a bit, and then I smiled, "And made it even more uncomfortable?"

She grinned, "So much more extraordinarily so."

I remember the topic of her first oral presentation and found it impressive that she could carry the reference over to our conversation. I smile at her. She made my body a bit more relaxed and my vibrations slowed.

"But also kinda interesting; too bad you're leaving," she added. She too bit her lower lip but it seemed alluring instead of Elena’s over used gambit.

"Yes," I agreed. "Too bad... It really was a nice surprise to see you here Anastasia."

Ana stood quietly wearing a sad smile.

"Christian, you wanted to leave didn't you?" Elena called out. She was already standing at the door impatiently and her eyes are narrowed in on us.

"Yes," I answered. I keep my gaze fixed on Ana.

"You can go Elena. I don't think you need me to start your car do you?" I try for polite but it came out short and somewhat rushed.

Elena stormed out without another word. I heard the door slam on her way out.

"Well," Ana stuttered, "I better go and tell Jack we should stay."

I nodded and began to take a step for the door. "I'll see you at school Anastasia."

"Bye," she paused and slowly turned to walk back to the table.

"Oh—and Anastasia?"

"Yes?"

"You don't have my class tomorrow, but if you need help on any of the homework, you can come to me at anytime. Do you have any open periods? Or maybe before and after school? I hardly go out to lunch, so you can come then too." _I say I never really went out for lunch, though this was a white lie I know that I can overlook it just this once._

"Thanks, I'll see." She turned and walked toward her table. I dare hope that she would do a shoulder check to look back at me. I was not disappointed when she slowed, shifted her head over her shoulder and gave me a shy smile. I did not think it would make my heartbeat go any faster.

**X x X**

I watched her walk back to Hyde. I felt like it was goodbye, but it isn’t quite a goodbye. _Was this what jealousy felt like? The fact that I always want to pummel Hyde within an inch of his life to stay away from Ana is becoming all too enticing._

Instead, I try to focus on the hope inside me. _Maybe I wasn't the only one who has a heart that goes into palpitations every time we see each other._

What Elena said earlier was right, and even though I didn't like that; I wasn't going to deny it any longer. It scared me to be feeling this way, but the thought of not acting on it made me even more scared.

I held my breath and walked out of the restaurant.

If Ana feels even remotely close to what I feel, I’d surely see her tomorrow. I had offered her time whenever she was free.

I hoped she'd be there tomorrow…

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A/N: I hope it’s not too long to get Chapter 11 out. I will be showing a Colombian teacher who is visiting me for 2 months around this weekend. I also work in IT and come Monday, I will be flat out until the second week of December! (Database and application server patches, etc!)  Only time will tell. I hope this naughty and delicious chapter holds you until December!!

Song: All I believe In by The Magic Numbers with Amadou & Mariam


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: I apologize in my haste to get CH 10.5 out that I did not add a warning on it. It was an edgier chapter, and in my head the scene played better than it did on paper. Essentially I wanted to clear up the hints that Christian mentions through some chapters with that dinner scene. Luckily, the band aid is ripped off and we get to now see his pain and now also his healing. I now never need to reference this bad crap that happened to him in this light. Also, I need it to push the story to where I need it to go.  

I also want to state that for the last couple of months I was not in the best ‘place’. (I ‘think’ I’m okay now, LOL!)

My New Year’s resolution was to start back at this and strive to get a chapter out every week or so!

~CC.

**CH 11**

**Christian POV**

Another dream choked me awake.

_I lay with Ana on a well-worn scotch plaid woolen blanket in the tall grass of some hillside. There was a gentle wind meandering through the reeds. The reeds bowed and swayed with the butterflies in their ritual dance. I heard the gurgling of the creek and the bellows of the frogs. I listened to grasshoppers chirping and bees buzzing. I smelled the richness of the soil and the unique scent of Ana. It was so real and I could not possibly dream of being anywhere else._

_Ana rested on her elbows as her hair gently caressed her back. The sun shone through her hair and highlighted strands of fiery red. She laughed and said its time to eat._

_I sit up and pull the basket up to open it. Inside are containers of chicken and cheese and fruit. I open the bottle of Merlot and pour into plastic wine glasses. I open the containers and dish out the food. I pass Ana her wine and she smiles as she takes her sip._

_Ana’s eyes rip wide and I see her cough up the red wine as it runs to her chin and drips angry droplets of blood. A torrent follows covering herself in a red sticky mess. Her beautiful skin is as pale as dishwater. The acrid air reeks of blood and rust and salt._

_I throw her cup aside and hold her. I push bloody hair from her face and stroke her softly. Blood continues to force itself from her mouth. I am helpless and angry as she turns to ash and sand._

_Cackling and hissing renders its dominance in the air. I look down at our plates. The raw chicken tears inside out and churns out blood and guts. The cheese is rapidly turning green and crumbles like it’s on sped up film footage. The rotting grapes shrivel and spit out their spent seeds._

_The traitorous wind claims Ana and gently carries her away…_

**_X x X_ **

I make it to school earlier than usual. I tap my fingers against the keyboard and stare at the screen. I have a few stacks of paper that could use grading but right now my pulse is racing and my mind is edgy in anticipation that Anastasia will walk through that door any minute.

I stare at my classroom door and listen for her voice that may come down the hall. I offered her the chance to come see me today and I’ve already made the promise to myself that it’ll happen…

_She’ll come… she’ll come, I know she will…_

_What am I thinking?_ I have my hopes so high that she’ll come and I think about the other students who would jump at the chance to get one-on-one time with me. In my first few months of teaching I’d offered the help, but once I realized it was mostly girls who wanted nothing but to joke around and flirt I discontinued. I’m not blind to the way my female students act around me, but I’ve learned to ignore them.

My thoughts stray to back to Ana as I go and open the classroom door to my eagerly awaiting students.

Her soft giggles fill my thoughts and make my heart give a short thud. Her pink blushes make my head feel light. The way her blue eyes widened and popped out yesterday make me want to stare into them endlessly, but I’m not sure if it was sadness or fear in her blue eyes then.

I gave the students their course instructions and then went back to thinking about Anastasia. It was never intentional but something my brain chose to do on its own.

I can’t help but wonder what she did after her date with Jack. _Did she end up going to his house? Did her kiss her? Did she accept his kiss?_

I dropped my head on the desk. I was tearing myself up like I was earlier this morning after that horrible nightmare. Just not knowing the answers to these straying thoughts was torturous.

I was caught out of my reverie by a student when she cautiously asked, "Mr. Grey? Are you okay?"

I looked up and nodded, "I'm fine." I was embarrassed that I did not remember that I was still in class.

"You don’t look well. Are you sure you’re okay?" She was cautious and I think that she didn’t want to probe. I didn’t want to discuss it –especially with a student.   


"I'm fine," I repeated. I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath. It was only my first class of the day and lunch was still to come. _Maybe Ana would come then…_

**X x X**

**Ana POV**

I passed the time by staring at the clock that was at the front of the class. Minutes seemed to sneak out of the realms of time just to taunt me. I tapped my pencil against the desk until the girl beside me scowled.

"Sorry," I mumble and put my pencil down. I was nervous and the events from last night both surprised and comforted me. _I flirted with Mr. Grey – while on his date!_

Last night in bed I daydreamed of the scenarios of what could happen when I see Mr. Grey today. I envisioned him standing so close and I didn’t shy away. He stood close and I caught the tickling scent of his aftershave. I felt his breath on my face like a warm blanket. His hand brushed against my arm and I didn’t mind his touch…

My stomach was in knots. I dreaded that the inevitable would always come. This morning I stayed at home longer than usual and looked for any task that would delay me. And when I arrived at school Kate instantly found me and trapped me in conversation. It was a great diversion, but she hoped that I would dish about the date with Jack. Luckily I was able to distract her. I had no intention of telling her that I planned on meeting Mr. Grey later. I didn’t know what she would think if I had told her. She probably assessed that my frayed nerves were from the date.

But for now I don’t know if I have the guts to see him and what would happen later...

I didn't go to him during lunch. Kate and Jose would have asked where I was. I would have to lie to them and that would be a betrayal of our friendship. What would they think? They would accuse that I’d rather be with a teacher than spend the lunch hour with them.

Perhaps after school I would go.  I kept telling myself that, and even though I wanted the day to pass by more slowly, time seemed to rush. I felt like a convict walking to the gallows. _You're only going to make a fool out of yourself if you go_ …

As soon as the lunch bell rang –and before I could change my mind— I ran to Jose’s and Kate’s table.

"Ana," Jose looked up, his smile only lasting for about a second. "How was your date with Jack?"

"Horribly awkward," I replied and took the seat across from him. “He pressed that we go back to his place and eat there.” I rolled my eyes and unpacked my chicken sandwich. “He tried to kiss me. I said no and pushed him away, and when I did he became cold –like he was someone else. He got a phone call that interrupted him so I left.” Kate and Jose did not seem surprised but they were astounded.

"Does that mean no more dates with Jack?" Jose asked, his smile returning to his eyes.

"I think it means I'm going to stop getting pressured into going on dates."

"Good for you," Kate said as she sat down beside me. "But I guess that means I can't go on about how great Ethan is and how great a couple you two would make, right?"

"That would be much appreciated," I said, taking a bite from my sandwich.

"Okay, well, in case Ethan asks, I did not stop talking about him all of our lunch hour. And it was good things too, almost makes you want to date him."

I laughed. "I don't think I'll see him anytime soon. Besides, didn’t you call him an arse when I met him?"

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” She laughed and agreed with me.

"That's good," Jose said, quiet enough that I pretended not to hear. _I know one day I will have to break his heart…_

I was spurred instantly to leave. I had to go, and go NOW. I looked around and tried to think of any excuse to leave the table. I should have gone to Mr. Greys class as soon as my class was over, even if Kate had been right beside me.

Now I am just itching to get away. I found my nerve and wanted to jump out of the seat and hurry to Mr. Grey’s class.

**X x X**

**Christian POV**

I rested my head on the desk. Almost the entire day had passed and Anastasia hadn't come before school or during lunch and I doubted she'd be coming after school.

I managed to sneak out at lunchtime. I found myself at the edge of the cafeteria. Ana was at the table with Kate and Jose. It was nice to see her eating and laughing.

Now all my students were gone and it had been about five minutes since school ended. I had about given up on the hope that she would show and accepted this as fact before there was a soft knock at the door.

I shot out of my seat, but then shook my head and chuckled. _Why am I acting like this? I have to get myself together. I’m acting like that school boy again._

With a calming breath I slowly walked to the door and opened it.

Standing there was Anastasia. She fidgeted with her sweater. "Hi," she said nervously.

"You came—"

She nodded. "I was going to come before but—“

"No matter, it’s fine," I interjected and motioned for her to come inside. "Have you started on the essay."

Anastasia smiled proudly, "Yes, I've got the rough draft down, I was going to ask you to edit it."

"That's perfect." It was hard to keep the elation from my voice.

We walked to my desk and I pulled up a chair for her. Ana sat down and began to chew on her lip as she pulled her binder out of her bag.

I wished I moved the seat farther than it was. It was really too close than it should have been. With all of my day wrapped in the hopes for this moment to arrive I am happy, but now that she was sitting there I wasn't sure how to control my wayward thoughts.

"Stop biting that lip.” Anastasia gasped and looked up. She was startled but then she let go of her lip. Her mouth was now the tiniest bit open.  I look away. _I shouldn't be thinking about those lips in that way –not if I value my job._

"Here's the essay," she says and passes me sheets of paper.

"Did your parents sign the course expectation sheet?" I had to admit I was impressed with her essay. Most students wrote bigger in order to make the essay seem longer. Her handwriting was beautiful and overflowed on to the next page.

"Yes, my dad," she began flipping through papers in her binder and pulled out a couple more sheets. “I have a few worksheets done too."

I set the essay down and took the papers from her. Just by skimming through them I see that she took great pride in her work. "Great." I smiled and started inputting her grades. I began with the signed sheet and notice Ray’s signature. "You know, usually mothers are the ones who are more involved in their kids studies."

"I guess that can be said," she answered uneasily.

I glance down at her, seeing she was fidgeting with the sleeves of her sweater again. "Did I say something wrong?" I ask quietly. Flynn had said she had issues in her life but what if they were just as bad as mine when I was younger? Although I love Grace, my mother was still a touchy subject.

"No, of course not," Ana responded. I expectedly looked at her for further explanation so she added, "I just don't live with my mom anymore."

"Did you before you moved?" I ask her cautiously. I wasn't sure how much she was willing to share but I wanted to know without pressing for information that may be painful to her.

"Yes," Ana shrugged but did not keep her eye contact, "But it wasn't working out anymore, so I came back to Ray."

"So your parents are divorced?" I can’t stop myself from asking questions.

"No, my biological father died. I didn't know him; Ray is all the family I really have. He married my mom when I was a baby but they weren't really a good match. Now she's married again."

"Is her new marriage more successful?"

"I think she wants to think that. But I think she couldn't have chosen a worse partner," she said solemnly.

I didn't realize I placed my hand over her knee until she looked down at it and back at me. I pull my hand away. "Sorry," I murmured. _If it wasn’t so inappropriate I’d have Ana in my arms consoling her. Her father was gone and her mom chose to let Ana leave rather than lose her husband._ "So you don't like her new husband?" Just by Ana’s tone and the way she spoke in disdain of him I already know I wouldn't like him.

Ana gave a half smile at that, "No, but he hates me as much as I despise him."

I was stunned. Who could ever hate her? "What did he do that makes you think he hates you?"

She didn't answer, but I waited patiently until she made it clear she didn't want to discuss anything further. "It doesn't matter now. I moved here to get away from all that."

"Right. Sorry, I got off track. I'll start on your essay and you can work on your other worksheets –unless you have to be home by a certain time?" _I have to be careful. I was close to spooking her._

"I don't really have a curfew," she said. "Ray is usually at work until after supper."

_So she was home all alone, unprotected? I don't think that is very safe. I have to keep reminding myself that she is eighteen…_

"Did you have somewhere else you need to be?"

"No, but I didn't want to be here for too long," she admitted, making my heart tighten. "I'd have to walk when the streets are mostly empty." It made me feel better knowing that her reason was not that she didn't want to spend more time with me, but I still didn't want to cut our time short.

"I can give you a ride home," I blurted out. _What am I doing?_

Anastasia blinked, "That's fine, I can walk..."

Before I could do anything more foolishly reckless today I said, "In that case, I'll correct this later and tomorrow you can come before class to pick them up."

_I didn't ask her permission—I wanted her here in the morning. I am not giving her a choice this time. The last time I offered her to meet I had my stomach in knots all day!_

"Sure, okay. Thank you," she began to gather her things and got ready to leave.

"I'll see you tomorrow then Ana," I smiled and reached out for her hand.

I meant for it to be a handshake but it felt like something more. In truth, I just wanted to see if the bolt of electricity went through them again.

This time it was something more powerful. My entire body tingled like a junkie drying out.

I gave her hand a small squeeze and stroked her hand with my thumb. Her eyes widened again. This time there wasn’t the same sadness as before. Maybe she was hiding it for now, but I decided I liked seeing her like this.

"Until tomorrow," she says and quietly slips away from my class.

I watch her walk away and mentally kick myself for the stupid questions that I was pushing at her. I have to be more careful before I really jeopardize whatever is happening between us.

I still could not stifle the happy grin on my face.

 

 


	13. Chapter 12

A/N: I just want to thank my readers for all the good and constructive criticism. Believe me when I say that I always enjoy reading and responding to the messages that I receive after each chapter is posted! Sorry for missing last weekend’s post, but I had the flu! *EEK!*

**CH 12**

**Ana POV**

I left the classroom feeling things were right—not in a totally awesome way—but that things were elevated and possibly less confusing when I think of him. I also think of Ray, and Kate, and Jose, and believe that I have found a deep circle of friends and loved ones. It seems almost bizarre that I can start to open up and let myself feel the rapture of friends around me.

I mentally pull the scabs away and think of mom and her _husband_. The stabbing pains are not as strong as before, but still have presence. _Good. Anger is what protects me._ Ray says anyone who holds on to anger and revenge like a prisoner is always the fool, as it is the anger and revenge who ultimately make a prisoner out of you. I can understand that; it’s good advice. I’m just not ready to let it go and walk away quite yet.

My musings took me to a hallway I’m sure I’ve never been. Nothing seems familiar and I stop to hear arguing around the corner. I couldn’t backtrack the way I came nor did I want to intrude. Something in the voices seemed familiar.

**“You are not working hard enough,” a cold and feminine voice barked.**

**“I am. Please just give me more time.” This time a male voice pleaded.**

**“That date was a fiasco. You were supposed to seduce her and you failed miserably.” Again a cold and silvery edge cut her words.**

**“I kissed her like you told me to but then your call—“**

**“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” the voice demanded. “If you want to keep what is good for you then you’d be wise to stop talking. Now.” _Slap. Then silence. Then what sounds like a kiss…_**

**“Yes, ma’am.” This time the male voice was penitent.**

**“Now go. We can’t be seen together.”**

I waited around the corner for quite a while. It was getting late and I still wanted to get home before it got too dark. I edged around the corner to make sure they were gone. I got a few paces forward before the woman exited a doorway. “Good afternoon, Anastasia. We meet again.”

**X x X**

**Christian POV**

My happy grin was cut short when my door opened.

"Elena?" I ask. I was not prepared to see her this soon, especially after that calamitous lunch date.  

"What are you still doing here, Christian?" she said with a cheerful smile. "I just ran into Anastasia downstairs, and wondered if you were… talking to her."

"She came to drop off the work she missed," I pointed to the papers on my desk.

Elena was skeptical. "Yes, she did mention something like that. I figured you'd both have your stories ready." Her voice was tight and her smile was jagged.

"You talked to her?" My jaw clenched. "I thought I told you to stay out of it."

Elena shrugged, "I only asked her if you told her yet." She seemed to be laughing at a private joke that only she was in on.

I shut my eyes and held the bridge of my nose. This is exasperating. I took in a deep breath and let it out in a huff. "You promised me. Why the hell would you do that? I told you I'd handle it."

She gave a short laugh, "You should be thanking me for speeding things up a little—and besides, I never technically made you a promise."

"What. Did. You. Tell. Her?" I gave her my best steely glare.

Elena smiled widely, "Oh, Christian, don't give me that look. With what I told her she will probably be back here tomorrow throwing herself at you."

"What did you tell her? I will not repeat myself again." Horrid images begin flooding my head. I seriously doubt anything Elena could have said to Ana would have her rushing into my arms. My steely voice faltered and I know Elena caught onto that too. I was losing ground and Elena seemed to be gleeful of this fact.

Again, Elena only smiled and inspected her nails. "Oh Christian, always so serious. Anyway, I only came to share that little tidbit of information! Care to walk me out?" _I’d love to walk her off a pier about now…_

I was beyond frustrated with her surprise visits and her constant meddling. I’m feeling a bit prickly so I bite back. “Just what excuse do you give _Mr. Franklin_ for these visits to the school? Surely he doesn’t think you want to eat lunch with him everyday?”

She didn’t bat an eye. She was ready with a biting remark of her own. “What I do on my own has no impact on his life, just as long as I don’t embarrass him or interrupt the sweet little romance with his secretary.”

_This woman not only pushed my buttons, she installed them…_

"I'm not leaving just yet," I answer, trying to keep my voice from further broadcasting my hurt and my anger. Irrevocable damage was done but I don’t know to what extent.

**X x X**

**Ana POV**

I stare into the mirror and reflect on what Elena said to me during her ambush yesterday. What she said couldn't have been true. Why would she even tell me something like that?

" _I've never seen him take such interest in a student before." She had her lips turned up in a way that made my skin crawl. "He was speaking to me about you—gushing really—in that way teenagers talk about a crush they have yet to admit to themselves."_

_I was about to say something then but the words are caught in my throat. I can’t say anything—not to this woman who does honestly scare me._

_"Has he asked you what he wants from you yet?"_

_I now manage to croak out an answer but she was standing way too close for me to think clearly. Her perfume is too cloying. "The essay? I just turned it in."_

_Elena laughed and slowly ran her finger along my jawline. "Oh, Anastasia, and here I thought you were a bright girl. Christian’s been going on and on about you. But no, my darling, your school work isn't what I mean. It's something more… " another laugh, "Never mind, I see you won’t be interested anyway. Christian has a very particular taste, and though you captured his attention, I doubt you'll be able to ... please him.” She grabbed my chin with her pointy fingers and gave my cheek two tiny swats. “He was right about one thing—you really are a beauty. But don't think ever, ever that'll you’ll be enough for him."_

The running tap water in the sink brought me back to aware. I blinked in the mirror and shook my head. It would be best to stop thinking about that woman. I bent down splashed cold water on my face. When I look up to the mirror again I couldn't help but think of Mr. Grey.

_Did he really say those things to that woman, Elena?_

_If what she said is true, that means... that means Mr_. Grey is attracted to me. I bring my palm up to my cheek and wonder what he can possibly see in me. I assess my blue eyes since they are the first thing I see—and although they are a nice shade of blue—they aren’t much. I don’t have those long heavy eyelashes I see girls around the school wear. My skin wasn't exactly flawed but it is unusually pale—especially when contrasted against my flat brown hair.

"Ana!" Ray called from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I answer and grab a towel to dry my face.

"Didn't you want to leave early today?"

I mentioned to Ray yesterday that I was going in early to talk to a teacher this morning, but now after Elena’s impromptu interrogation I am sure I won’t go now. I can always tell Mr. Grey I was running late if he probes. I don’t think I could face him after what Elena told me. _Again, another time where my mortification takes over..._

"No, I changed my mind. It’s not that important." _It can definitely wait._ I force a smile and walk out of the bathroom and go to sit with Ray while he finishes fixing breakfast.

"You sure?" Ray asked, taking a sip from his tea.

I lean over and take the tea he made me. "Positive." The passive look on my face told him that topic of conversation was over.

"Well okay," he said. "I hope you don't mind," he stood up and opened one of the drawers. "I know the last time when your friend had your school work a phone would have been helpful."

"Oh dad, you don't need-"

"I got you this," he beamed, holding out a phone. It wasn't over the top, it was simple and meant to do what a cellphone was designed for. Before I can even take it, I see a keyboard slide out from under it.

"You didn't have to," I say gently but I still keep the excitement in my voice. Ray is worth more to me than I can ever quantify and I never want to insult or hurt him by refusing his gift. I know he isn’t the wealthiest parent, but even if the phone was free the monthly contract fee would cost him. Us. I will find a way to pay him back.

My mom and her new husband never considered buying me a phone. They never did anything for me that didn't benefit them in some way. The only reason they bought me a laptop was because her _husband’s_ _guilt_ had caught up to him. Mom gushed over how thoughtful and generous he was for his grand gesture. He bought it in the first few months of their marriage, but still used it mostly for himself. Mom thought that _I_ was a nice daughter for letting him use it.

Ray hands it to me. "It'll make things easier. You can talk to your friends and call me if you make plans with friends."

I stand up and give him a tight hug. "I'm so glad I moved." I know Ray is not one for displays of emotion but he hugs me back anyway.

"Me too, Annie," he replied, gently pushing me away. "Now, let’s get to eating breakfast."

**X x X**

 

**Christian POV**

By the end of lunch, I had already shouted during most of my classes, graded a stack of messy papers, knocked over my coffee, and managed to get a huge headache.

Ana didn't show up in the morning as she promised, nor did she come at lunch to explain why. I had been ready to praise her on her essay, but she never came.

"Damn it all," I growl at my empty class. I have her next period and I will ask her why she didn't bother coming. _What did Elena tell her?_

The warning bell rang signifying lunch was over. It couldn't have come any slower. As soon as it stopped I jumped from my seat and went to open my classroom door. It takes a while before the students flood into the halls, but I don’t see Ana yet.

My students greet me as they head inside but my hasty replies do not go unnoticed. _My stomach is full of fire ants and I can’t breathe._

"Oh fuck," one of them whispered when they were inside. "Someone’s in a bad mood." A couple of student’s murmur in agreement. I pretend not to notice.

One last look down the hall and I see Anastasia. She is walking with Rodriguez like usual, except now he has both arms around her from behind, and a phone in his hands. His cheek is resting against hers. He types as he walks, and Ana is laughing and helps him to walk straight. _Oh fuck is right…My ire sets these fire ants ablaze and spins an angry cyclone._

I give him a death stare, but that was about I can do. Death stares fall flat when thrown from too far away. The students in the class had a better chance to see it if they were not busy looking backward still chatting with friends.   _Maybe they’ll be late again and I could use this excuse to send Jose to the office._

Before Ana reaches my class, she stops and turns to Jose. She says something to him and he smiles and nods, and then passes her the phone. She pushes at him to leave. Once he goes she tucks the phone in her pocket and begins walking to class again.

It takes all of my will to keep my place. My grip on the doorknob causes pinching and pulling on my fingers but this discomfort keeps me static. "Anastasia," I say. I am ready to have a conversation with her when she gets close enough.

Ana looks up and murmurs, "Hello, Mr. Grey," before slipping inside and takes her seat by my desk. Jack rushes in a moment later. _I think if anyone walks with Ana it’ll be Jack not Jose…_

I stand at the doorway with my back to the class. I want to demand answers from Ana but I can’t now. I decide that later this **will** be discussed.

I turn and walk inside. The students rush back to their assigned seats. Jack was one of them. He had been standing by Ana, casually talking to her.

"Get started on your work." I point at the board and reveal the warm up topics.

My students do their usual routine, taking out paper and pencil for their warm up.

I wait a few moments. "Anastasia, read your warm up."

Ana looked up, a surprised look in her eyes. Her pen froze over her paper. I see that only had a few lines been filled in.

"I- I haven't finished it yet," she answered.

"I can share mine, sir," Jack said from the back of the room, just like the first time he called on Ana. He began to rise. _Her fucking champion._

I motion with my hand out to stop him. "I didn't ask you Hyde. I asked Anastasia, but it seems she didn't bother doing that _either_."

Ana looked just as confused as the rest of the class. "The warm up takes more than just two minutes to write," she said, keeping her voice steady. "I’m sorry if you’re having a bad day, but that doesn't mean you have to take it out on us."

I simply stared at her, my eyes hard and angry. It wasn't because she just stood up for herself. If I wasn't already so angry with her for not showing up this morning, I may have been proud. She was just stuttering a few seconds ago and now she found her courage.

"And who says I am having a bad day? I expect certain things from my students, and doing their work on time is one of them. Being responsible, showing up for their commitments—"

I was going to go on, but I saw a flash of understanding in Ana's eyes. I still could not relent. I cursed myself but did not let go. "So go on, read your warm up."

"I haven't finished it," Ana repeated. I caught the subtext of irritation hidden inside her tone, and I did not like it. I was caught in the frustration of wanting to either throttle her or kiss her. 

"Fine. You will finish it here after school."

Students exchange glances, but none of them were brave enough to say anything. "Everyone put your things away. Keep something to write with. We're taking a quiz."

I hadn't planned on doing that test so soon, but I wasn't sure how much I can take if there isn’t peace and quiet for the rest of the period.

And then Miss Steele and I _will_ talk.

 

 


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: As always I want to thank you all for reading!**

**This chapter was hard to choose what to do because I wanted so bad to do this entire chapter in both Christian’s and Ana’s POV! So I decided to do both. If I didn’t, this one chapter would be only 1300 words, (That is not enough to get a good dose of Christian!)**

**So, if you want read Christian’s POV only just jump down further.**

**CH13**

**Ana POV**

Once the bell rang everyone quickly packed up and left. I guess they were also not immune to the tension during this class.  

I glanced at my watch just to confirm what the bell signified: my impending—and quite possibly the most awkward—conversation with Mr. Grey I may ever have.  I drag things out by taking too long to pack my things. Why Jack remained behind too was a mystery. Our horrid date and that forced kiss should have him backtracking. He is either resilient to rejection or just too tenacious. _Either way, I am almost positive that it was his voice that I heard yesterday with Elena. That conversation was way too familiar…_

I was gathering my binders when Jack approached me. His eyes are hard and I was getting anxious. My palms are getting sweaty and my nerves are on end. I close my eyes briefly to block out this scene—as brief as it is.

"Miss Steele, you're not forgetting to stay, are you?" Mr. Grey’s curt tone stops me short and I notice Jack whip his head toward him. _Strange predicament: With Jack and his persistence on one door and Mr. Grey’s irritation with me on door number two, right now I’d take door number two. Jack’s persistence is getting creepy and if that were Jack and Elena together then I have to be careful. I don’t know what his game is, but now it’s best that I keep him away._

Jack raised his eyebrow. "Mr. Grey, why exactly is she staying after school?"

Mr. Grey glares at him. "I don't think I was talking to you Hyde."

"True, but _I'm_ talking to _you_ ," Jack replies and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Jack," I warn quietly, "It's fine. Please just go." _What the Hell are you doing? Why are you even here?_

Mr. Grey was about to speak again but inhales instead. He looks just as frustrated when I saw him on his date.

Jack eyes both of us and throws his hands up, "Fine, but I'm just saying, this isn't fair. Ana, I'll see you later, okay?" I just shrug and Jack turns and leaves the classroom.

Mr. Grey turns his piercing eyes to me, and for once I wasn't squirming under his gaze. This drama rollercoaster with flirting with Mr. Grey and then Elena and her horrible threats and now Jack being persistently creepy is it. It’s done. I had enough. Bravado or not—this has got to end.

"I guess I'll start finishing my warm up." I state. I am mentally exhausted after pretending to be happy with Kate and Jose today. I feel like I am leading Jose on by having him embrace me and text with my new phone on the way to Grey’s class was not fair to Jose. I know that his face lights up when he sees me, but I don’t feel like anything more is possible with him. I feel guilt because I used him to make me feel better. _I just want to get this over with and go home to bed_. I pull my binders from my bag and grab a pen.

"Just sit," he ordered, though much softer now. "You didn't come this morning."

I shrugged, "I was running late."

Though this was obviously a lie, he didn't react to it. "You couldn't come to me during lunch?"

I rest my hand on my cheek. "I didn't think of that I guess." I answer dumbly and mentally wince. A frisson of guilt seeps through me. I can’t keep up this foolishness anymore.

He sighed and turned away from me. I hate being obtuse and I know he deserves better than this.

"May I ask something?" I asked quietly. I am holding out the proverbial olive branch.

He shakes his head. 'You just did,' he softly chuckles. He seems reserved, and I think he fears my question. "What is it?"

 _Here goes nothing…_ "What…" I hesitate for a second and bite my lip before continuing. "Just what do you want from me?"

He inhales sharply. Countless things must be running through his head. If Elena spoke to him about what she said to me than he must know why I am being like this. Maybe it explains why he was being a tyrant in class. "I want you to start being a better student. I expect a lot more from you, Miss Steele."

 _Whoa._ This is not the answer I was expecting to hear.

"Why do you ask?" He asks curiously.

"Honestly? You're nothing like I expected," I say nervously, "My friends said you were tough, but that you don't bother anyone unless they ask for it. I asked around, and many said basically the same thing. I thought it was because somehow I called too much attention to myself on the first day. But then yesterday. I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I saw your date yesterday-" I stop to clear my throat. _I don’t know what is up or down with him._

"And she—well, she said some weird things," I look up sheepishly, "I think I may be reading too much into it."

"What did Elena tell you?" he asks; his piercing stare broke from mine.

I chew on my bottom lip and wonder if I should really tell him or not. _Is it too late to back out of this conversation?_ "Nothing. Just forget it. I'm sorry I brought it up." I lean back and start to look for any excuse to leave.

"Anastasia, tell me, what did she tell you?" he demands. This is the strict bossy teacher that I remember from the first day of school. It is so different from his frazzled but softer side I saw before.

"Look, really it's nothing. I was just being silly-"

"Anastasia," he repeated. "Tell me what she told you."

My eyes flash to the clock on the wall but I can’t answer.

"Am I keeping you from something?"

"No," I reply quickly. "I just-“ I try again. “I'm sorry."

"I'd like it if you paid attention to me—and only me—when I'm speaking to you, Ana," he says. "Now, this is the last time I'm going to ask. What did Elena tell you? She came to speak to me yesterday too, and I'm not comfortable with how she was acting. I want to know what she told you."

"She talked about _you_ ," I reply. _I should think more about what I am going to say before I sound like an idiot and make a fool of myself._

"How?" His voice is tense and now I know that whatever she said to him made him act irrational in class today.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't know…she said a few things. Some was cryptic some was direct."

"Anastasia, just tell me already. Now." His voice was deceptively soft but direct. It was an order.

"She said you were interested in something about me," I blurt out. There has to be something in the way his stern voice makes me comply and obey. Not even mom’s husband had this effect on me.

He didn’t reply immediately. I think maybe he had to think before he spoke too. After a moment, he spoke. "What else did she say?”

I run my hands up and down my arms, fighting an imaginary chill. "She said a couple other things, but they didn't make sense."

"Like?"

"She said that you said I was _attractive_ but it doesn't really mean anything. Though, you wanted something from me but that I couldn't ever give it to you," I was mumbling and no doubt turning red under his intense gaze.

"It doesn't matter anyway; It's not like I believed any of it,” I say dismissively.

 (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

 

**CH13 (ALTERNATIVE)**

**Christian POV**

Once the bell rang, everyone quickly got their things together and left. Only Ana and Jack remained. Ana started gathering her stuff while Jack walked over to her.

"Anastasia, you're not forgetting to stay, are you?" I say coldly.

Jack raised his eyebrow. "Mr. Grey, why exactly is she staying after school?"

I glare. _Why couldn't he just leave?_ Maybe Ana did enjoy her date after all and she does like him. That doesn’t make sense, not when she was so closely embraced by Jose earlier. This doesn’t stop the vitriol in my voice. "I don't think I was talking to you Hyde."

"True, but _I'm_ talking to _you_ ," Jack replies and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Jack," Anastasia warns him quietly. "It's fine. Please just go."

I pretend that Ana defending him doesn’t affect me.

Jack eyes both of us and throws his hands up. "Fine, but I'm just saying this isn't fair. Ana, I'll see you later, okay?" Ana only responds with a shrug. Jack turns and exits the classroom without another word.

I give Anastasia my fiercest look, and for once she isn't squirming under my gaze. _She is either angry or brave…_

"I guess I'll start finishing my warm up," she says flatly. She is gathering her things to start writing.

"Just sit," I order, but I say it softer now. "You didn't come this morning."

She shrugs and offers me a flippant response, "I was running late."

This is obviously a lie. I don’t react but only push further. "You couldn't come to me during lunch?"

Ana sat in her desk and rests her hand on her cheek. "I didn't think of that I guess." Her tone is almost malicious and it frustrates me. I sigh and turn away from her. I don’t want her to see that her tone is upsetting me.

"May I ask something?" she asked quietly. She must realize that her tone is hurtful or that she feels that her behaviour is childish. She now is more pliable to cooperate.

“You just did,” I shake my head and chuckle. I want to buy some time. I want her earlier snippy words erased. I just know from her tone that I won’t like her question. I know it has to do with Elena. "What is it?"

"What…" she hesitates for a second and bites her lip before continuing. "Just what do you want from me?"

 _Here it goes…_ Elena must have shaken Ana up with what she told her. I do know what I want from her. I just can’t tell her. I want her to stop looking so beautiful and distracting me during my lessons. I want her to stop talking to Jack and Jose. I want her words to be only mine. I want her to be someone else’s student so I won’t put my job at stake for thinking and wanting all the things I do.

I feed her a lesser important expectation, one that is even untrue, as she is an incredibly bright student. "I want you to start being a better student. I expect a lot more from you, Miss Steele." _This is such a flimsy excuse._

Ana nods. Her face shows her surprise. I know she was expecting a much different response.

"Why do you ask?" I am curious to see where she is taking this conversation and consider if she is even ready for it.

"Honestly? You're nothing like I expected," she says, laughing nervously, "My friends said you were tough, but you also don't bother anyone unless they ask for it. I asked around, and many said basically the same thing. I thought it was because somehow I called too much attention to myself on the first day. But then yesterday…” She trails off but then continues, “I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I saw your date-" Ana looks embarrassed. But she forces herself to continue. "And she—well, she said some weird things. I think I may be reading too much into it."

I break my gaze. "What did Elena tell you?"

Ana chewed on her bottom lip, no doubt wondering if she should really tell me or not. I don’t think she ever notices that she does this subconsciously. "Nothing really, just forget it. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Anastasia, tell me, what did she tell you?" I demand. _Oh no, you’re not backing out now, you started this…_

"Look, it's really nothing. I was just being silly-" She is squirming now but my impatience is driving me on.

"Anastasia," I repeat. "Tell me what she told you."

Ana’s eyes flash to the clock on the wall but she doesn’t answer me.

"Are you meeting up with someone?"

"No," Ana replies. "I just- I'm sorry."

"I'd like it if you paid attention to me—and only me—when I'm speaking to you Ana," I say. "Now, this is the last time I'm going to ask. What did Elena tell you? She came to speak to me yesterday too, and I'm not comfortable with how she was acting. I want to know what she told you." _I need damage control…_

"She talked about you," Ana says. She seems to finally accept answering my questions without too much hesitation.

"How?" I tensed. I need to know what Elena said to her.

Ana blinks and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She has got to stop touching herself. It always commands my attention. "I don't know… she said a few things.”

“Anastasia, just tell me already. Now." My tone is soft, yet firm and final.

"She said you were interested in something about me," she finally answers.

I don’t know how to respond. My heart is pounding beneath my shirt. Can she hear it? "Interested in you?" What else did she say? I subtly rub my sweaty palms against my hips.

Ana runs her hands up and down her arms. The motion catches me off guard and I envision that is me now stroking her arms. "She said a couple other things, but they didn't make sense."

"Like?" I probe, I want all her secrets.

"She said that you said I was _attractive_ but it doesn't really mean anything. Though, you wanted something from me but that I couldn't ever give it to you," Ana had begun to mumble and her cheeks were reddening.

_I am going to hunt Elena down. How dare she put Ana through this…_

"It doesn't matter anyway," Ana added quickly. "It's not like I believed any of it."

"I-" I began, but then sigh loudly. I run a hand through my hair and swallow. Now here is my chance. _Elena was right, she gave me the opportunity to speed things up. Even if she did it in a shitty way._

But can I tell her what I want?

I want her, of this I am certain. But is pursuing her worth the risk? One look at her and my head and heart are unanimously screaming _yes. Finally admitting this to myself makes me feel drunk with giddiness._


	15. Chapter 14

A/N: I am taking a leap from the next couple of chapters or more because the tension between Ana and Christian is kinda dragging on. It’s time to introduce more story line and action! (I kinda want to smack their stubborn heads together! LOL Yes, kids, everyone knows you’re hot for each other!)

Sorry for the three week break of no posts. It was a mixture of emergency company and ‘life sucks’ factors. (Luckily I’m on call this weekend, so I need to be near my laptop anyway!)

Also, thanks to all of the kind and constructive comments. One by a guest in particular convinced me to pull away from the original chapters because of the ‘emotional vacillating’ of Christian’s behaviour. The whole ‘Christian and Ana’ angst was getting old… I deeply thank her for that! :0) But with that said, I hope that you all enjoy!

P.S.: If you are following along with the Original, this chapter blends CH14-CH16 together.

**CH14**

**Ana POV**

“It doesn't matter anyway. It's not like I believed any of it," I say again, feeling the burn in my cheeks and the sting in my eyes when I know I’m about to lose it. I look up at him and I cannot fathom what is going through his mind. I can’t read his face and I know deep down that it was a colossal mistake to come.

He just stares at me; my insecurity makes me relive the horrible memories of what Elena had told me all over again. _But what if there was truth in what she said? What if—for some crazy reason—he did see me as something more than a student…_

"I-" Mr. Grey began and then shook his head.

I wait for him to finish but instead his eyes just stared into mine. _What are you waiting for?_ Deep grey orbs stare but reveal nothing. I break the stare. Looking away was the only hope I had not to release the tears that were about to breach my eyelids. The teacher who was too strict and serious a week ago was gone now, and in his place was a frustratingly handsome man with glinting eyes.

"Right," Mr. Grey finally said, though his voice didn't sound as smooth and controlled as it always did. "Elena. Elena is—and can—be a handful at times. Please don’t let what she said upset you."

"Like I said, I didn't actually believe any of it," I say, attempting bravado.

He pulled out a duo-tang and handed it to me, "I finished editing your essay," he said softly, effectively breaking me away from my thoughts and putting an end to our conversation about Elena. "I have to say, it was impressive. You must have had a great teacher last year."

“Thank you. Is there anything else?” I picked up my things to pack back into my bag and glanced toward the doorway.

"You have to leave soon? It’s Friday and I bet you can’t wait to start your weekend. Do you have any plans?" I can tell he senses my impatience.

"Technically, I'm here for detention. So I suppose I’m here as long until you say the word, sir," I say and hope that he releases me from this detention. “But no, to answer your question I don’t have any plans. I do have a new book I want to read.”

Mr. Grey's smile dropped the slightest bit, "Right. I have the rest of your things graded, I just have to enter them into the computer. You did a great job with everything. You can look over this essay now."

I look down at the paper and smirked at the 100 % score at the top of the paper. I wonder if this mark is to make up for the situation with Elena instead of the hard work I did in writing it.

"Other than that, I guess we're done here..." Mr. Grey said softly.

"Does that mean detention’s over?"

"Detention’s over," he nodded.

"Okay then." I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. My phone slipped from the side pocket and clatters along the floor. I pick it up and slide it back into my pocket.

"Anastasia," he said slowly. His expression did not match his tone; it makes me wonder where he was going to with this. "Did you lie to me?"

"Lie? When?" I quickly run our conversations through my mind and I come up blank.

"You said you didn't have a phone," he answered, pointing at the hand that just held my phone.

"A present from Ray," I state, "It was really nice of him. He worries about my safety." I say flatly, and hope this doesn’t encourage too much more awkward conversation.

His expression softened, "Oh. It's good to hear he's treating you well."

“Thanks, but I do really need to go now.” I don’t know how to respond to him and I feel the urgency to go, so I turn to leave with the little dignity I have left. I am Icarus flying too close to the sun. Hubris or not, I turn and take flight. _How many more times can I humiliate myself with this man? I feel so foolish. It was nice to dream that he is attracted to me the way Elena said for that brief nanosecond. But it’s time for me to face reality. Smarten the Hell up, Steele._

Tears fall as I make my way to my locker. I wish it was not so far from his classroom. I have too much time to sob out the humiliation before I get there. Posters and doorways blur past me as my footsteps take me farther from Mr. Grey. I enter the last hallway and see that there is something taped on a locker door but cannot make it out clearly.  As I near it, I see that it is a white rose sticking onto it. I see that it is on _my_ locker.

I lean into the locker and rest my forehead against the cool steel. I place my hands on either side of my head. I am gasping for air from the run to my locker and make a silent promise to myself that I need more exercise.

I think about the long first week of school. Meeting Jose and Jack on Monday, meeting Kate on Tuesday, enduring that painful date with Jack and seeing Mr. Grey with that horrible, horrible woman, and of course getting ambushed by same said woman. I bite my lower lip and wonder if this week could get worse.

My tears slowly fade as I gather myself so I tear off the tape and pick up the rose. I trail it down and under my nose, enjoying its soft fragrance. I am left wondering who left this rose for me, but also saddened because I know it could not have come from the one man I would ever want one from…

 

**Christian POV**

I watch Anastasia flee. This conversation did not go where I expected it to and now I become even more angered as I know Elena is to blame. I pull my phone from my coat pocket and dial.

“Hello?” Elena’s sickly sweet voice drawled.

"Elena. Leave Anastasia alone," I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you've talked to her? Is she here?" I can almost hear Elena’s lips turning up into an amused smile. "Maybe I'll see her on her way out again."

"Wait - you're at the school again? Jesus Christ, Elena, if you don't leave her alone I swear—"

"Oh hush," she says, and I hear a door open and close. "Can't I come visit my own dear husband at work?"

"You hate him," I remind her.

"Ah, look, there she is now!" Elena coos, using her most childlike tone. “Looks like she has another admirer based on the single white rose she is carrying…”

 _I don’t know if she is bluffing._ "Leave her the fuck alone. I'm being serious-"

"Oh I won't talk to her," Elena said a bit too happily.

With my phone still to my ear, I run for the door.

 

**Ana POV**

I am almost free of the school when I see Elena at the doorway of the front office. It is right next to the school’s main entrance which I planned to exit from. _Really?_ _Can I not go a day without seeing that woman?_ Friday just cannot get any worse. She is on her cell phone and has a Cheshire grin on her face. She looks like that cat who ate the canary, but I wonder if it could be literal…

"She's such a lovely girl," Elena says into the phone that she’s holding up to her ear. I try to ignore her eyes which seemed to leer as they run up from my Mary Janes up to my face. She taps her fingers over her chin as if in deep thought, "Her innocence… You'd destroy it."

I try to swallow the lump in my throat. Who is she talking to? And why the fuck is she staring at me so intently? I hear muffled angry shouts coming from her phone.

"Oh sweetie, don't be so harsh! I’m a little jealous that you found her first. I could have had fun with _this one_." Elena continued. It was then that someone opened the door opposite her and she turned to see who it was. Her spell was broken and I am glad she finally tore her eyes away from me. "Mr. Rodriguez, thank you for helping out today."

"No problem, Mrs. Lincoln," Jose answered with a polite smile, then looked over at me. "Hey Ana, I’m glad you're still here!" He was excited and in this moment I am glad that he is here.

I notice Elena smiling at us, looking pleased. "Yeah. I'm heading home now."

"Me too," Jose replied. "I'll walk you."

"Well, only if you want to. You don't have to bother yourself."

"Anastasia, go on, accept the boy’s offer. After all, that's why high school is so great," Elena said, the phone still held to her ear. She turned away from Jose and stage whispered to me, "You get to meet boys your own age and have fun with them. You must tell me which of your admirers gave you that beautiful rose." There was a loud voice from her phone and she laughed, "I have to go," she says and disconnects. Elena exits with a flourish, tosses her phone in her purse and flips her red silk scarf over her shoulder.

"Wow, that was weird," Jose said. He turns to me and takes my hand. “Ana, I’ve been waiting all week to ask you out but we always get interrupted.” He is speaking softly but seems to sadden as his eyes linger on the rose. “Could you, I mean, will you go out with me?”

I know I eventually have to let him down gently. It was a sweet albeit surprising walk to Mr. Grey’s class earlier today. I distract him with talk of Elena. _Irony in its entirety when I willingly want to use her as a topic of conversation._ "Who is she anyway?"

"You don't know? Didn't she call you by your name earlier?"

"Yes, but _who_ is she?” I stress the who so he can understand my meaning. “She came over while I talked to a teacher," I lie. Jose doesn’t need to know any details. I gently pull my hand free, hoping he wouldn't question it further.

"She's the wife of one of the administrators, but everyone practically knows her here," he explains. "There was a rumor going around that she was cheating on him with a teacher." He seems a little smug with that bit of gossip. I think he’s trying to impress me.

"What?" _She’s married?_ She was on a date with Mr. Grey. Maybe it wasn't a date. He had to know she is married and if it wasn't a date, then why meet up in a restaurant? Why not just talk at school?

"Yeah, I know, right!" Jose glances around and lowers his voice, "They don't exactly have the best relationship but I think Mr. Lincoln has too much pride to let her go. I help out in the office a lot, and they barely talk to each other when they’re in the same room."

I couldn’t hide the incredulity from my face. Jose gave me a questioning look but thankfully didn't push it.

**X x X**

The moment Jose and I parted ways I grabbed my phone and texted Kate. I decide that the planned book reading can wait and that I desperately need some girl time, especially after this crazy week. I’ve never really had close friends before and now is the time that I get a best friend.

I like Kate. I see strength and a loyal fierceness in her. She is a Valkyrie warrior in pink lipstick and Gucci loafers. I know I can trust her. I don’t know why. I’ve never had a sister but she feels like one to me. I have only known her a few days and all the time spent with her she was always looking to protect me. _Especially from Jack. I really should have listened to her about that!_

“Earth to Ana," Kate smiled, waving her hand around a bit.

"I'm sorry, what?" I shook my head slightly and looked up at her.

"I asked if you were up for a party," Kate fakes a frown. The smile in her eyes puts me at ease. I can get used to terse words if I know they are only teasing. I think back to mom and Steve’s place and his tones and facial expressions never matched. They were never proper to what one would expect in conversation. In Steve’s house, a quiet voice was something to be feared. _His quiet voice only ever meant one thing._ But in Ray’s house a quiet tone could mean so many different things. It could mean almost anything. But every meaning still meant everything safe.

"It's more like a club, but Ethan knows some people to get us in," Kate grinned, tearing a piece from her pizza before popping it into her mouth. Her eyes were gleaming with excitement; it was almost impossible to say no to her.

"I don't know," I drawled thoughtfully. "I'm not very good with parties."

"You don't have to be good at them Ana," Kate chuckled, nudging my arm a little. "Just have fun in them, and I promise I'll help you have fun."

I still am not very convinced, but I do enjoy her enthusiasm.

"How many parties have you really gone to Ana? Think of this as a welcome-to-the-neighborhood party, it'll be fun I promise. We can even find you a hot guy," Kate sang, moving her eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"You really should come; I don't want to be stuck with only Jose all night." She throws her hands in the air in mock frustration causing her slice to fall on the carpet.

"Please Ana?" she pouts and bends to pick up the mess, "I have a few dresses that will look great on you," she winks at me, "Plus, there's total babes in that place."

I do like listening to music, even though I am not much of a dancer. "I guess we have a party to get ready for."

"Yes!" Kate smiled with triumph. "I'll get some dresses out for you to choose from. You should tell Ray your having a sleepover too, we're probably going to be home pretty late."

X x X

**Christian POV**

This had to be the worst week from Hell. Young Ms. Steel’s first week of school was a rollercoaster of surprises and upsets to say the least. I had managed to make it to the main doors in enough time to see her leaving with Jose. He stood way too close to her and I had to push back the green-eyed monster down. I will relax now that I know Ms. Steele will be tucked in safely at home reading this weekend.

I need a distraction. I have been putting off Elliott’s constant nagging to go clubbing with him.

Time to call Elliott.

 

 


	16. Chapter 15

 

A/N: I asked two of my readers to choose between a 1930’s Jean Harlow dress versus a 1950’s cocktail dress for Ana to wear at the party… We shall see! P.S.: There may be triggers for some here, not sure… I apologize in advance if so. Also, here is a fat and juicy Christian-filled chapter for you all! *Thanks to all the readers who take time in their day to drop me a line! I appreciate it! * Also I’d like to thank my husband who does all the weekend chores so that I can write this story. He is very supportive that way! LOL

**CH15**

**Ana POV**

 

I stare at my reflection and frown. "I don't know, Kate," I murmur as I pull and tug down on the bottom of my dress. Kate had nearly forced me into this tube dress, although I kept insisting it is way too short. It was a bit ostentatious with its sparkling rhinestones.

"It looks great," she squeals, "I told you it'd go perfect with your eyes." Kate takes a step back and gives me a reassuring smile. "You're going to stun everyone at that place." She pulls out my ponytail holder and runs her hands through my hair. I gasp as I was not prepared for the tingles that run from my nape all the way to my fingertips. I suppress a cold shudder. The feeling was not entirely unpleasant…

I am still not convinced of this dress and as I stare into the mirror I know that I have to let her know that this one is not for me. I mean - it is beautiful, cobalt blue, and clingy and the matching strappy heels are stunning. But still not for me. I turn and head back behind the vintage fabric screen.

I unzip and start to pull my arms free of the sleeves. As I pull the dress down below my breasts I see Kate behind me with a startled look on her face. I grab at the dress and shield my chest. I should have been more careful. I was so wrapped up in getting this dress off that I didn’t hear her come up behind me.

 

I think I startled Kate more than she startled me; the look in her eyes are sad but have an angry ring at the edges. “What… oh my God… Ana… who,” she stopped. Kate is frozen and cannot comprehend what she’s seeing with what she wants to ask me.

 

“It’s nothing, Kate,” I say in a whispered voice. A tear escapes and I brush it aside. She steps slowly behind me and slowly reaches her hand out. Her eyes are silently pleading to ask permission to touch. I nod and with the barest touch her fingers slowly trace along the jagged scar above my breast. The touch was not sensual; it is clinical and almost impersonal like the touch of a doctor but her fingers still display warmth and feeling.

 

“How did this happen?” Kate says, tears form and threaten to drop.

 

“Not now, but I promise one day we will talk.” I move out of her touch and she understands that this conversation is over. It is a sort of release; I have a best friend now and slowly I will let her into my personal space and thoughts. But tonight is not the night. “Kate, this dress is not me,” I snort. She laughs at my bravado and turns to let me undress.

 

Kate yells over the screen. “What do you feel like wearing tonight?” To this I have no idea. I don’t even own a dress and my footwear consists of Mary Janes and Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers.

 

I exit the screen and sit on the bed. She senses my dismay and starts to smile. She tosses me a wet-wipe. “Wipe of that garish makeup I put on earlier. Tonight we’re going classy!” She grabs my hand and we run from the room. Our earlier shared sorrow is forgotten for now.

 

We get to a cedar-lined closet. It is larger than my bedroom at home and it smells divine. Inside are several garment bags hanging from several hooks and racks. Kate starts pulling zippers as she pulls them off the racks. “No, no, definitely no, YES!” She turns to me, “Close your eyes and hold out your hand!”

 

I hear the rustling of the plastic and the pull of fabric being pulled from the bag. Next I feel the weight of a hanger. “Open your eyes, Ana.”

 

I open my eyes and in my hand is an antique light gray cocktail dress with dainty white pearls stitched in the bodice and pearl velvet ribbon adorning the hem and the neckline. Inside is a crinoline petticoat which makes this dress poofy. There is a matching waist jacket with a wide shoulder collar and large mother of pearl buttons. The finishing touch is a matching velvet belt sewn into the waistline. It is simply the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.

 

Kate smiles and answers the questioning look on my face. “My mom was in the play, Roman Holiday in college. She played Princess Anne. She had this reproduction made over twenty years ago and couldn’t part with it. I believe this is what you are looking for.”

 

From what I knew of the Roman Holiday movie is that it came out around 1953, and this dress was authentic to that era. I laugh and smile, “For my very first dress this is the best one you could have ever chosen!”

 

Kate pulls out shoes from the garment bag. She hands me a pair of soft grey and white kitten heels with silver buckles. Very elegant and low enough for a novice dress shoe wearer like me not to trip and kill myself in.

 

Kate abandons her original choice of a sleeveless black tube dress for an incredible slinky silver floor-length dress. It looks almost like lingerie, but the satin is thick enough to reassure those thinking otherwise. The front was cut into a V, and the back swooped low below her shoulder blades. It accentuates her long neck and tendrils that escaped the pins. Finishing her ensemble was silver open-toe heels and a beaded clutch.

 

An hour later we stare into the mirror. Kate pulls my hair into a chignon but modernizes it by having a few long strands falling throughout. She has her long hair curled in flat flowing waves and pinned under. Her cherry red lipstick makes her the perfect Jean Harlow.

From outside the room, Ethan calls out, "Are you two almost finished? Or should I tell Jose to come back in about an hour?"

Kate raised her eyebrows, "See? Guys are so impatient, but trust me. You look good, and they’ll be glad they waited."

I don’t have the confidence to step out of the room looking as I do, but still Kate drags me out. I shouldn’t feel awkward in this incredible dress, especially since everyone only sees me in bulky and drab clothes. _Chin up and chest forward._ I take a deep breath and descend the stairs with Kate’s arm in mine.

" _Dios mio_ , Ana," Jose says once we got to the bottom of the stairs. "You look - _te ves preciosa,"_ he finishes with a loud gulp.

"I think that's compliment," Kate laughs when she notices my confusion.

I squirm under his attention but still manage to reply, "Oh, well, you look great too, Jose."

"Jose does clean up good," Kate smiles and pulls at Jose’s tie.

"Hey," Jose pretends to look hurt. "I always look good."

 

**Christian POV**

I knew I was smart bringing my own car instead of letting Elliot drive me. This club was Elliot’s style and I am sure that by the end of the evening he will eventually flake off with some woman.

"How do you even find yourself in places like this Elliot?" I ask as we walk toward the front door. There is a man dressed in a black suit guarding it. I assume he is the doorman _and_ bouncer.

He was huge and stood by stoically while women flirt with attempts to get in, but when he saw us approaching he pulled the velvet rope aside. “Have a good evening, Mr. Grey.” I was surprised and wanted to know how he knows my name. Elliot laughs, “He means me, Christian.”

"Don’t you have to pay to get inside?" I began fishing out bills from my wallet.

“Perks of a membership, dear brother. Put your money away,” he says smugly.

The place was dimly lit and all I can see is a mass of people crowding together in front of a stage. Tables and stools stood in shadows and there are antique wall sconces and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. At first glance this was a dance club, but this space was once the Paramount Theatre. It was a fusion of the contemporary as well as kept the long-held traditional fixtures. The ceiling even held the original copper press tiles.

"Let's get a drink," Elliot suggests as we near one of the bars.

As I follow Elliot to the bar, I see the place is crowded. I have to admit the swing jazz music coming from the stage wasn't bad.

I take a seat and face the stage while Elliot orders our drinks. This was a 1930’s theme night and the beverage options were champagne, gin rickeys, and sidecars.

There is a good swing band playing; it reminds me of my teen years when I’d go out to concerts and enjoy the music. _Mind you, I am going from Nirvana to Glenn Miller playing Chattanooga Choo Choo._

Elliot handed me a sidecar, "Okay, now let's see, what kind of girl is more your type?" Elliot looks over the crowd with a troubled expression, "Blondes? Those girls seem-"

I roll my eyes. _I am close to Elliot, but talking about girls still isn't something I am comfortable with. Besides, Elliot never kept a girl to long enough to talk about, so it was not like he should talk either._ “Did mom put you up to this?” I could hear my mother now _: "I'm worried about Christian, he's too reclusive. Elliot, maybe you can introduce him to some people. I thought this was just a phase, but maybe he just needs a little push."_

Elliot laughs lightly and takes a sip from his own drink before returning to scan the crowd, "Oh, how about that blonde?"

I don't bother looking, instead I turn back to the stage and continue listening to the band.

"Oh. My. God. She's hot," he says, almost like a veneration. "I'll save her for myself. But we must find you a girl first. So seriously, what's your dream girl look like?"

_Blue eyes matched with brown hair, and the most delicate looking porcelain skin._

"For fucks sake," I curse out loud. Elliot turns to me, surprised by my outburst.

"I didn't mean to make you mad, Christian," he says warily. "I -"

I shake my head and when the image of those wide blue eyes still won’t leave my mind, I tilt my head to throw back the rest of the drink. _Out of all times, why am I thinking about her now?_

"It was nothing Elliot, I just - I think I have to go to the restroom."

Elliot raises an eyebrow, "You _think_ you have to go the restroom? Well uh, okay, it's back there," Elliot pointed by the side of the crowd, "While you go figure out if you have to use the bathroom, I'm going to look for that blonde goddess again."

I slide off the barstool and head for the direction Elliot pointed out to me.

 

**Ana POV**

I squirm away from all the people in the crowd. It is getting too crowded and warm. I still have the waist jacket on and cannot remove it without everyone seeing what I try to hide. Kate disappeared after a gorgeous guy who introduced himself as Elliot whisked her away. Jose and Nathan are somewhere close by, but I can’t see them anymore.

"Crap, crap, crap," I say, even though I cannot hear myself through this noise. I look around for Jose but decide to take refuge at a table as the crowd was pushing and herding me in that direction anyway.

I was almost through the crowd and I see the last person I ever expect to see. He was so close; I am sure I’m not just confusing him with another person. This is definitely Mr. Grey. Who would have thought we'd be in the same place tonight? _Part of me wants to run and hide, but the other (much stronger side) wants to run up to him and say hello._

He is wearing the same gray suit he wore at school today. His hair is messier than it was during school, just like at the restaurant when he ran his hand through it one too many times.

 _Is he here with_ her _?_

I can’t break my eye contact. There is a pull that anchors me to him. I can’t pull my eyes away even when he stops suddenly and turns to my direction.

He seems unimpressed and begins walking again. In the next second he stops again and does a double take.

I see his eyes widen the slightest bit and his mouth open as if he is about to speak, and just when I was going to offer him a friendly smile, I feel someone’s arm around my shoulders and a warm breath by my ear.

"There you are Ana, I thought I lost you,” he says silkily. “I have something special for you.”

It’s Jose. He wraps his other arm around me and in his hand is a single white rose. My once fluttering hummingbird heart slows down, especially when I see an angry Mr. Grey walking away.

I keep forgetting myself. _I_ should be the one angry at _him_. I humiliated myself in front of him today. I cried. _But why instead am I excited to see him?_ Maybe this is a knee-jerk reaction to what happens when you realize teachers are just people too. Maybe everyone gets excited when they see their teachers outside of school. _It’s normal. It’s nothing._

"Kate's over there by the bar with that guy Elliot," Jose yells into my ear. His breath is minty like he used an overdose of mouthwash or drank a mint julep. I flinch, did he have to be so loud? _And more importantly, did he have to come at the same time I see Mr. Grey?_ "Ethan is on the dance floor," he adds, his voice slurs against my cheek.

“Wanna go dance?" Jose doesn’t wait for a response and pulls me toward the dance floor. His hands are sweaty and he presses me too close. “Ana, I asked you out earlier today and you didn’t respond. I deserve an answer.” I feel my hackles rise and my insides are screaming to get away. It’s getting too close like the reminder of Steve and his after dinner drinks…

The alcohol must be making him brave; he would not behave this way otherwise. All week he has been sweet and kind, even when I brushed off his amorous attentions. I don’t want to have to tell him this now. But he is forcing himself on me but I don’t want to hurt him or this friendship we started. “Come on, Ana, you must know that I like you. You let me hold you when we walked to your class. You must want me too!”

I search the room for Kate. She is in the arms of _the_ tall blond and has her back to us. Nathan is nowhere to be found. Jose’s grip on me is tightening and thankfully the rose had its thorns cut off or I would be bleeding by now. One hand grabs my nape and pulls me closer to his lips. I struggle and his other hand has a grip on the waist of the dress and if I pull away I know it will tear. He presses his hips into mine and I feel the hardness in his groin.  


**Christian POV**

I walk away feeling the pain in my chest getting heavier and that damn jealous green-eyed monster is out. Elliot can wait. He has his arms wrapped around some beautiful blonde, and if she is as beautiful in the front as she is in the back, then he has it made. She must be twenty-five at least. I want to leave immediately, but instead I go sit by one of the small tables beside bar. I need a drink, but I have to drive. _Who thought that I’d be the one to bail a party before Elliot…_

My thoughts sway back to the lovely Miss Steele. Her clothes make her appear older. She is wearing an incredible dress which screams class – not crass. Her hair is swept up in a fancy bun and she looks simply breathtaking. I idly wonder where she got these clothes because she has never worn anything remotely close to this at school. My thoughts turn darker. Is she here with Rodriguez? I have no say on who she spends her time with. She is not mine. _Yet…_

I scan the floor and find her again. She is in Rodriguez’s arms and he is holding her close. My chest is aching and my green-eyed monster is taking no prisoners. He is a dam breaching its walls.

My green-eyed monster doesn’t like it one bit. He hates that Jose can hold her in his arms and dance with her. He hates that other men in this damn place are pointing and showing their appreciation. _My monster hates that it is not him holding her_. She is holding another fucking white rose. _Did he give her the other one too? Fuck Jose and his damn roses._

My fingers twitch and I feel like a teenager full of piss and vinegar out looking for a fight. _Just like before…_ I can’t stand seeing her with other people—other boys—I correct myself.

_But I’m not a teenager, I’m an adult. I’m her teacher…_

I give up trying to tell myself that this isn’t right. Every time I feel this about her, the guilt should really feel like a punch in the gut. But it doesn’t. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care that I am her teacher and I don’t care that I shouldn't be feeling these things for her. _I want to break all the rules…_

 _What are you doing dancing with him like that? Jesus Christ, Ana, what are you doing in this place?_ I was so caught up in my anger that I did not realize Ana’s frantic eyes darting to mine. 

My monster was so angry at the betrayal of them dancing together that I almost missed Jose kissing Ana. It felt like a stab in the back. All the blood seemed to drain from my body and I turned cold. It was added with something close to rage when I realized Ana was not enjoying the embrace. It was contrary; she was trying to push him off her.

I let my monster take over. All he knows is that he needs to get that moron off of her. I’m sure the chair flipped over when I stood. I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t care enough to check.

I push through the people and make my way to Ana. Everyone else on the dancefloor seems oblivious to this exchange. I am prepared to push that idiot off and drag him out of here, but Ana isn't as fragile as I assume.

She managed to get Jose off on her own, and if the red mark on his face was what it looks like, she had also slapped him.

"I'm going to go find Kate," she flushes with anger. She rights her dress and coat and turns. Her eyes are angry and looking at Jose, he has the audacity to look offended.

She nearly passes by me, but I manage to stop her before she gets too far. "Anastasia," I whisper, though it comes out harsher than I intend.

"Mr. Grey," she replies, looking down at my hand on her arm. She looks too angry to be surprised.

"Are you okay?" I scan her quickly and aside from her scowl and some hair pulled at her nape she seems okay.

Ana blushes and looks away sheepishly, "Oh, you saw that? It was nothing-"

"He kissed you. And you didn't want to be kissed... Did you?" I was beginning to feel like the moron. I was fighting to not sound like a jealous boyfriend, but on the other hand I was trying for sensitivity. My green-eyed monster didn’t know how to work with that. He just wanted to grab Ana and take her to a safe spot. He wants her for his own. I push back the thought. "He was holding you pretty tightly." When the words were said, I realize I am still holding her arm _. Am I any better than Jose?_ I drop my hand and wait for her to answer.

"I've had worse," she says almost to herself, then stops. She shakes her head and gives me a weak smile, "I didn't expect to see you here, Mr. Grey."

Does she think she could just steer the conversation another way and I’d ignore her response? "Had worse? What is that supposed to mean? Has someone hurt you before Ana?"

Again, she only shakes her head. "Forget I said that. I'm just a little - I - I have to go find Kate."

She starts to walk away again but I follow her. I am not letting her out of my sight. "Kate's here too?" I ask, beginning to feel the anger creep in again. Kate was going to be a bad influence on Ana. This was also going to be a long night.

"Mm?" Ana pretends not to hear me and looks around the place with nervous eyes.

"Does your father know your here?" I shout. I don’t know why I want to fight with her. I am so jealous and so angry. _She is supposed to be tucked in at home reading, not be at a bar where she is underage._

Ana rolls her eyes, "Does yours?"

"Not very mature for someone in a place meant for adults, Anastasia," I reply dryly.

"Yeah, well right now I wish was home," she snaps back.

"Should I go back and talk to Mr. Rodriguez?" I try for diplomacy.

"I think I made myself pretty clear," Ana says with a shrug.

"Well, good," I nearly smile. "But I hope next time you'll stay home where you're suppose to be."

Ana’s posture changes and becomes tense, "Where I’m supposed to be! Are you serious? And who said I belong at home? I've spent my entire life being locked inside. Does it really matter to you that I want to go out just this once?"

"Ana, you're still young and you have a lot of years ahead of you. What were you thinking going out at this hour, and to a place like this? This isn't a place you should be going out to. If you want to go out, try the movies, or the mall, places people your age are allowed."

She faces me and looks almost as irritated as I feel. "Mr. Grey, I get that you're my teacher and you feel the need to preach about my safety, but I seriously don't need that right now. You act as if you never tried to have fun when you were younger."

_Little does she know…_

I was about to say something in the same angry tone she was using but I stop. Ana's breathing was quickening and her hands were shaking.

"God, I need to get out of here. There's too many people -" she said, her voice losing its anger and becoming more unsteady.

"Ana? Are you -" All anger vanished. Ana was in distress and my green-eyed monster was frantically pacing in his cage.

"I just need some air or some water. I just need to get away from all these people-" Ana tries to walk away, but she stumbles and looks quite pale now.

I move my arm and hover behind her, scared that she might collapse. I steer her away from the crowd. We were soon out the door and Ana takes a deep steady breath.

"What's wrong Ana?" I asked. "Are you feeling faint?" I wish Elliot was here to bring her some water.

The security guard watches us nervously. I scowl, but I am forced to ask for help. _For Ana's sake._

"Can you bring her some water? She isn't feeling well."

"I'm fine," Ana manages to say, and though she is rubbing her face with her palms, the color is coming back in her cheeks. "I get dizzy a lot. I didn't faint this time, I should be fine."

"You didn't faint, _this time_?"

"It's happened before, it's nothing."

"For God’s sake Ana, that isn't normal. When was the last time you ate? Were you drinking tonight?"

"No, I wasn't drinking," she scowls and drops her hands. Her eyes which had been surrounded by dark long eyelashes, were now surrounded by dark mascara smudges.

"When was the last time you ate, Ana?"

Ana doesn’t answer.

"Ana," I say with more force. If she is pulling that no eating crap that I saw in school God so help me…

"I had pizza at Kate’s." She tries to hold back a shiver, "It reminds me of something-"

"Reminds you of what, Ana?" I ask softly. I am mollified that she confessed to eating.

She rubs her face again, "Crap, I forgot I have on make-up," she looks down at her palms and frowns at the dark smudges. “I must look like a raccoon,” she groans.

I smile. _Of course she forgot, she never uses make-up._ "I don't think I've ever seen racoons wearing dresses or having bright blue eyes."

Ana rolls her eyes again and tries to wipe away the mascara.

"Here, let me help," I offer. I have my handkerchief out.

Ana keeps wiping under her eyes, "I think I got it-"

I reach over her and wipe under her eyes. I pretend in this stolen moment that I am not her teacher and that it was okay that my heart is beating a staccato at our closeness. I hope I wasn't imagining the tiny smile that formed on Ana's lips. I smile back at the small blush in her cheeks, but somehow resist the urge to caress her cheek.

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A/N: I couldn’t decide on the dresses so I had Kate wear the other one. It looks great on her…


	17. Chapter 16

A/N: Thanks everyone for the great feels! Thanks to the lovely readers who never fail to contact me after every post! (You know who you are…!)

 

p.s.: I must admit that I was terrified to write this chapter. For two or more weeks, I have bounced several scenarios around regarding their first kiss because I want this chapter be both pivotal and epic… (I want to avoid this being a cliché. Is this asking too much of myself? LOL)

 

p.p.s: This would have been out sooner, but I desperately had to see Beauty and the Beast last night!

**CH16**

**Ana POV**

 

It is a challenge to keep my breathing even. He is so close that even in this dim light I can almost see the black specks in his grey eyes. It is amazing how his closeness is enough to make me feel warm even though there is a lingering chill in the air. Sound is standing still around us, even though a small crowd of people chat and watch us intently as they wait to get into the club.

He replaces his handkerchief with his thumbs and delicately removes the rest of my mascara. His hands are soft and I must fight the urge to lean into his caress. His fingers cradle my face and I wonder how it would feel to be cradled in his arms.

"There," he says and pulls slowly away showing me his now smudged thumbs. "Don't feel the need to hide behind make up Anastasia. You look perfect without it," he says as he smiles.

"Thanks,” I say. I pull back to lean against the brick. I know that my legs are turning into jelly and it is better to hide that fact by leaning. He hides a look and takes a step backward.

"Are you still feeling faint?" he asks, sounding worried again. He takes a step forward and raises a hand. I think he is about to touch me but his hand suddenly drops back to his side.

"No, no, I'm good now. It only lasts a few seconds," I tell him. _He does not need to know the real reason I sound so off._

After this pregnant pause, I notice the time and it is getting late. "I should go find Kate, or Jose. The panic is long gone, but I don't think I can stay in there for too long."

He seemed hesitant, before saying, "Are you sure you're okay? Maybe we can - how about- I mean, if you'd like, we can go get you something to eat. You must be feeling the adrenaline after affects from your anxiety attack." His tone is soft but he seems resolute.

I shake my head, feeling my cheeks warm, "No, no, I'm fine. I'm just going to go find Kate-"

"You're going back in there?" Mr. Grey interrupts, looking upset. "The boy just kissed you," he said, making it sound worse than it should have been. He shakes his head slightly, and adds, almost to himself, "Should I go talk to him?"

"No," I said quickly. _How weird would it be for them to see Mr. Grey here?_ "No, it's fine. I handled it."

He pauses for a moment. "Fine. But, before you go back in there, why don't I take you somewhere to eat-" he adds, "Because you are feeling ill. I wouldn't want you to pass out."

I try not to let my expression sour. Food does not sound appealing right now "I think I should go back inside. They may be wondering where I am." I push off the side and waver a little. The adrenaline is wearing off and I feel a little wobbly.

"Ana, you need to get some food inside you," he says. He seems determined to make me eat. I need to let him know that I am fine but that I can’t fight being alone with him right now. He grasps my arm to steady me. He leans in and I think that he will kiss me. I close my eyes and lean in to accept his kiss.

And wait.

I open my eyes and find him with his fist against the brick. He won’t look at me. _Good. He won’t see the sting of tears that wait to fall._

“Okay,” He says and lets out a puff of air. “Ok, Ok. I will leave now and you can go back to Kate. Just please say that you’ll be careful.” I note an ephemeral look of frustration in his eyes. He removes his hand from where it was scorching my elbow and I feel instant rejection wash over me.

He guides me toward the bouncer at the door and then he exits quickly. I almost hear him mumble as he gets farther and farther away. I stop and look back to where we were standing. Jose’s all but forgotten rose was crushed and lying on the dirty sidewalk.  

**Christian POV**

I can’t get away fast enough. My steps bring me closer to my car and I palm the key in my hand. I was so foolish in thinking that I could kiss her and have her accept me- _I am such the romantic fool_. I lost that bravado I had earlier.

_I almost kissed her._

I yank the door open and slide in. I slam the door shut and welcome the bang in my ears. I deserve to be berated. I deserve to be yelled at. I deserve to have my hard work in becoming a teacher thrown in my face. I deserve to see what I could lose if I had kissed her. My fingers are claws digging through my hair and pulling.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…_ My shouts become laments. My hands become numb from pounding the steering wheel. A bitter taste of acid fills my mouth and I feel like vomiting. I start the engine and slam the car into reverse as I tear out of the parking lot.

**Ana POV**

Glassy-eyed, I walk back into the bar. My heart is splintered and I have embarrassed myself again with _him_. _Oh God! Why? Why am I constantly doing this to myself!?_ I near the front bar where Kate is still canoodling with Elliot.

I wipe any tears that may have appeared and pinch my cheeks. Time to put on a brave face. Kate turns and sees me and pulls me into her arms. She is so excited to see me and she has that love-stricken look on her face. I know she is enamoured with Elliot. We step aside but close enough that Elliot’s hand still strokes along the bare length of her back.

“Isn’t he dreamy?” Kate all but purrs, “He’s asked me for another date and I said yes. He said he has a brother so that we can double-date!” I had to give it to her, Elliot is very handsome with that tall, California surfer, dirty-blond curly locks, and tanned skin _. I can’t say that he’s my ‘type’, but then again – I never had a ‘type’ before._

I want to leave so badly but I can’t disappoint her; she is having so much fun and I don’t want to spoil her night. _I owe it to her for her happiness._

I am doing a great job of hiding the pain. _Strength is to smile when you know that tears are about to fall_. I swallow back the lump and put a huge grin on. “Well, he’s… something,” I say and lean over Kate to give him a smile. “Hello again, Elliot.”

“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you since you were dancing with Jose!” she says conspiratorially. “It’s obvious he likes you, maybe you should give him a chance?” She lifts her glass and takes a sip.

She doesn’t see me stiffen so she obviously missed what happened afterward. She doesn’t need to know that Jose already made a sloppy pass at me _._ She hands me her glass. “Drink up! Don’t worry, it’s only soda water and lime!” She turns and leans back into Elliot.

I feel a hand on my waist pulling me back a step. Even without turning, I know it is Jose. There is a tangible static that only he and I share. “Ana, I am so sorry, please forgive me,” he whispers. “I don’t know what came over me.”

_Like I haven’t heard that before…_

I turn and stare, giving him my no-nonsense glare. He has the gall to look abashed. He takes my hand holding the glass and leans in. “C’mon, give me a chance.” He rubs his nose against my ear and I smell the cloyingly sticky-sweet smell of his drink. “Finish your drink and I’ll take you home if you want to leave now,” he adds.

“No. I’m leaving with Kate and I think after the way you are behaving that you find another way to get home!” I slam the glass down on the bar top and storm away. Most of its contents splashed out and coated my hand. _Good. I dare him to follow me_. I make it back to my table and realize that I have nowhere to go. Nathan drove us, so I can either call Ray or call a cab. _I don’t want to face Ray like this._ I dial for a cab.

**Christian POV**

I drive. I don’t know where. Minutes tick by and the road signs blur as I pass. It’s only around ten but the streets are oddly empty for a Friday night. I try but I can’t efface the images of Anastasia from my thoughts. _She literally drives me to distraction._ A stop sign appears from nowhere, causing me to slam my brakes.

STOP. I stare at this sign. I laugh. _Stop what? Stop running? Stop fooling myself that I can avoid Ana any longer? Stop denying that I am in love with her?_ I proceed and come across more traffic signs.

SLOW.

ONE WAY.

I pull into an empty lot. I pull out my phone and hit redial. I get her voicemail.  “Elena, you have to help me.” _I don’t want to ask her for help, especially with the way she has been with Anastasia, but I just can’t ask Grace._

I shake my head and smile. I shift into reverse and head back down the street I came from. I know what I am going to do. _What I must do._

X X X

I make it back to the bar and park the car. I bolt toward the door but the bouncer blocks my passage. He is the same one who witnessed Ana and I earlier. “Please let me in.”

He nods his head, “No admittance,” he says smugly. “Tell me why I should let you back in?”

I can’t believe that I need to justify myself to this buffoon. I feel like hitting him or pushing him away but his next words stop me.

“Do you love her?” he asks softly. He looks around and there are stragglers waiting to get into the bar. “I watched you both earlier and I see how you looked at her. Personally, I think she may be too good for you, but meh, who am I to judge?” He uncrosses his arms and rubs his chin. 

 _Seriously? Must I prove myself to this man? Here goes nothing._ “Yes, yes I do. It’s about time that I show her.” I am frantic and I am edging around him to see inside. Of course, it’s too dark in the entrance to see anything. _And she may have left already…_

“Go in, but you better not hurt her again or you’ll have me to answer to,” he threatens. “It cut out my heart the way you left her here and just…you just left! Jesus man, you deserve a punch in the face for that alone.” He shook his head. “I don’t know her, but I know that she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that,” he exclaims. He steps aside and points inside the doorway. “Make it count,” was all I heard him say as I ran up the stairs.

I enter the main room. I see Ana standing alone to the side. Jose is nowhere to be found, and it is better that I don’t know where he is at this moment. I am just so thankful that she is still here and is not with _him. My green-eyed monster is mollified…_

I close this vast expanse as she turns toward me. I am close enough to see the startle in her eyes. “Mine,” I growl, before I latch on to both sides of her face and back step her toward the cloakroom. My lips seize hers and I smother her gasp as she surrenders herself to me. My lips linger on hers before I slowly pull my face away.

The first thing I sense is that the lips I have dreamed of kissing are soft like flower petals. I can’t help myself so I lean back in and tenderly kiss the corner of her mouth. Her body once tense, relaxes in my grip.

The next thing I realize is that she is not fighting me or at least hitting me like she hit Jose earlier. Her eyes are closed and her lips are red plump cherries from my kisses. I take this as a good sign that I should continue. Our breaths tangle as I move one hand behind her neck and the other to her shoulder. I hear a stifled moan come from her lips. Her hands grip my arms and then slide up my chest, fisting the fabric of my shirt. I was anticipating her pushing me away but she instead pulled me closer.

All five senses are firing like electrons. I move to slowly run my nose along her collarbone up to the hollow behind her ear. _Her scent is floral and ten times more potent when I am this close to her. The nearness I have in class is nothing to what I have now. I can almost taste the honey of her lips_.

I close my eyes and leave a trail of kisses up to her eyes. I kiss each one and rest my forehead on hers. Her breaths are little pants and I chuckle to myself. _If I could capture that sound forever I would._ I hold her firmly and lower my head to her chest. I feel her heart pounding a frantic drum beat.

My hands let go and travel to her waist. This dainty dress does well to showcase her beautiful frame. I clench her waist and push her even closer to me. I feel the slide of her hands as they lead to my neck. She leans toward me and I can see that she wants to kiss me. _Who am I to deny her any longer?_

I swoop in again and claim her lips. The kisses get forceful and I am staking my claim. _Mine._

“You came back,” she mumbles between the kisses. I eat each word like they are sweet candies. Her tone is soft and awed. I taste the saltiness of the tears that escaped and trailed down her cheeks. I pull back and wipe them away.

“For you, yes, I did.” Each word is a benediction. “I tried to leave you, but I can’t. Not anymore.” We both are silent and only hear our breaths and the sounds of the swing band. _At Last. Fitting song, isn’t it!_

I take her arms and pull them tighter around me. We instinctively sway to the music.

_At last my love has come along My lonely days are over and life is like a song, oh yeah At last the skies above are blue_

_My heart was wrapped up clover the night I looked at you I found a dream that I could speak to A dream that I can call my own_

_I found a thrill to press my cheek to A thrill I've never known, oh yeah You smiled, you smiled oh and then the spell was cast_

_And here we are in Heaven For you are mine at last…_

Deep down I know the spell eventually had to break. We can’t stop time and stay like this forever. She pulls her head off my chest and I think she is slightly bashful or embarrassed. Luckily no one could see our embrace in the cloakroom. _She has nothing to be embarrassed about. She is exquisite like a rare flower._

“I have to leave,” she whispers. I can’t fool myself: time is a thief that must take her from me. “I called a cab and it should be here by now.” She reluctantly pulls out of my embrace and leans up and kisses my cheek. “Thank you for coming back.”

“The least I can do is walk you to your cab,” I say, not wanting to let her go. She looked a little hesitant, but relented. “After you, Miss Steele,” I whisper.

I wait in the shadows while Ana goes to Kate to let her know she is leaving. _So… Kate is the blonde with Elliot. That’s an issue for another day…_

We reach the door and pass that same bouncer. He smiles and gives me a wink. “All good?” he whispers so softly that I know Ana could not have possibly heard him. Outside the cab is waiting. I open the door for her. I lean into her as she is about to step into the cab, “Remember that it is _you_ who is extraordinary.”

I see the spark in her recognition of my words. Her eyes are wide and alert. I smile and lean in closer. “Sweet dreams.” I gently close the door and tap it. The cab pulls away.

Smiling, I walk back inside to find Elliot. Before I can reach him, I hear a familiar voice. I am surprised at the stern tone, “Hello Christian.”

I swivel around. “John – “

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

A/N: I wanted to write so much more, but I didn’t want the kiss scene to get swallowed up by other events. Besides, I can make another chapter out of it. I have essentially stopped following the original (if anyone is comparing each chapter) and am writing solely what is either bouncing around in my head or is on my Bristol board of planned storyline!

Here is At Last, By Glenn Miller and later an Etta James version.

<https://youtu.be/3ueA3BguK9Y?list=RD3ueA3BguK9Y>

*Go 2:30 minutes in. *

Etta James remake

<https://youtu.be/1MUilZpErlw>

 


	18. Chapter 17

A/N: I want to give a special thanks to _JMA and KMariaJ_ for their special concern to see if I was ok. I delayed posting CH17 because I kept tempting fate by keeping one foot in ‘Alice’s rabbit hole’ and slipped in for a bit. Also thanks to _Daytonalay, Nedbella, Sammyfl, Karen773, and MsKarbla (among others)_ for posting comments every chapter and lifting my spirits… you always put a smile on my face!

I get readers concerned that I will stop this story. *I promise I will never drop this story. * (I hate failure and I will feel bad if I can’t commit to this story!) Besides, I am just as curious as you all are on how this little story ends!

Anyway, enough prattling!

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**CH17**

**Ana POV**

As this cab pulls away I can’t help rubbing my fingers along my lips. They are swollen and I can almost feel the slight moisture from our kisses. I close my eyes and remember him bolting into the room and grabbing my face as he rushed me back into the cloakroom. I swear I heard him utter _‘mine’_ before he grabbed my face and kissed me…

I softly trail my fingers over my throat and to the hollow behind my ear. I hold my cheek for a moment and kiss my palm. I feel daring and for the first time ever I trail my fingers down to the swell of the tops of my breasts that peek above the neckline of my dress. I never knew my own secret touch could be so sensual but so illicit. It is so easy to close my eyes and fall under the fantasy that it is now he who is trailing his talented fingers slowly along my body. Chills like icy waves make their way down to my toes and my breathing hitches so I stifle it. Luckily the cabbie is listening to the radio and is not paying any interest in me aside from the occasional glance in his rear-view mirror.

The scent of Christian and linen and the lingering scents of the dance club imbues itself in my bones. Like his touches, his smell creates the most delicious memories. If only there were candles of this scent; I would surround my bathroom and soak in a tub forever.

Yes, this night is over too, too soon. The night is shedding its cloak of starry darkness and awaits to don the gossamer robes of morning. Sighing, I embrace myself and that beautiful song plays sweetly in my memory.

_And here we are in Heaven For you are mine at last…_

“We’re here, miss,” the cabbie says as he slows in front of my house. I notice that there is a twinkle in his eye and I know that he indeed paid more attention to me during my self-ministrations. I smile—not because I am an exhibitionist, but because I do not feel any shame. I pay the cabbie and I catch the hint of a smile before he pulls away from the curb.

Ray is asleep when I get in. He was expecting me to stay with Kate. I know he will be curious tomorrow, but for now I want to get to bed. I pull the pins from my hair and rub my aching neck. This hair is too heavy kept in a chignon all day. I carefully remove the jacket and the dress and hang them on a hanger. I take the shoes and tuck them under the chair. Amazingly they were very comfortable to wear the entire evening. I may have to extend my footwear to things beyond sneakers and my worn-out Mary Janes.

 

I don’t want to lose that feeling of joy being in his arms and swaying to the music. But sleep is calling to me as my eyes start to drift.

Sweet dreams, he wished me.

_For you Christian, always…_

 

**Christian POV**

“John—“ I say. I am startled and at this moment his tone tells me he most likely saw Ana and I together.

_Fuck._

“Christian. Quite the pleasure and the surprise to see you here this evening,” he says. He is slowly coming closer – a bit too close for polite conversation. And I can tell by looking at the frustration (and is that a hint of pity?) in his eyes that I am not going to enjoy the rest of this conversation. “Care to tell me more about Anastasia and why I say you both in the cloakroom?”

 _Cut to the chase much?_ I can’t think of an excuse quick enough. He tilts his head and leads us toward the same room where I just held and kissed Ana moments before. “I can explain.” I recovered from the initial shock and the quick flash of shame of what I have been doing. I am at a loss with what to do with my hands. They seem to vacillate between pulling my hair or rubbing my face.

“Don’t you know the position that you are putting me in, Christian? My hands are tied; I must report this incident to the schoolboard.” He is pacing and throws his hands up. “Christ, what is the matter with you?” His eyes bore into mine imploring me to give him anything, anything at all that will be worth reasoning.

“Please, John, give me a chance to explain.” It was in this moment that I knew how much trouble I landed myself into. I compromised both my profession and the reputation of my student if any of this were to get out. I tip my head back and exhale. I turn to the doorway and see a couple looking in to get their coats. With the tension so thick between John and I, they came in to get their things and ran back out again.

John pulls off two of the stacked chairs and sets them down close. We sit and I know he is looking at me to start. “Explain then,” John says simply. He seems to be looking at me clinically now instead of that stern visage he wore moments ago. I feel slight hope that he will at least listen openly to me. I am too tired to lie and I certainly don’t want to insult his intelligence.

“I really don’t know where to start. Christ, I only met her on Monday and I feel like I’ve known her forever. John, I am so attracted to her that I can’t think straight.” I exhale and feel slight exhilaration that I could let it all out. I know that what I say to him now will be career-ending. “I’ve tried staying away but I had to give up. I can’t stay away, not anymore.”

“Christian, she’s barely eighteen. She’s your student—”

“You think I don’t know that!” I am almost yelling now. I am so frustrated I am pulling at my hair. My caged monster is getting possessive and fears Ana could slip away. “I’m in love with her, John, I truly am.” I take a new leap and hope that he can at least understand how I feel. “John, I know she feels something for me too. I don’t know how much, but I can only hope that it is even a smidgen of what I feel for her.”

A look flashes in John’s eyes before he changes back. He pauses and then his eyes lift slowly. “Christian, you know that I am bound by professional secrecy regarding any students with whom I meet,” he paused again, looking like he wanted to say so much more but is literally bound to secrecy. ”I cannot stress _enough_ how you must be careful on how you approach whatever the Hell it is you are thinking of doing.” John looks at me with defeated eyes. I get the biggest sense that I should heed what he says as I think it may be too close to the borders of what he can disclose about Ana. “Jesus, pray God you understand what I am saying because I will not repeat myself nor will I ever admit to this conversation should it ever come to light.”

I Lean in closer to him, not so much that it is too loud to hear, but that I certainly didn’t want to be overheard. Opposite, really; to others looking in it may appear that it is a deep conversation between two lovers. “Please John, anything that you can tell me that would not compromise your position.”

“I can tell you two things:

One, she has had a long and hard road most of her life and her father died when she was a baby. This most likely caused her mother to be at her wit’s end being alone with a newborn baby. Her mother met and married Ray Steele. They divorced a few years later when Ana’s mother met and married another.”

“I was told as much by Ana,” I interject.

“Which leads me to number two: Christian, you must be very careful around her. I cannot—and will not—go into specifics, but imaging almost every horrible atrocity performed by a stepfather and you can get the idea.” I blanched at what he was saying. Every imaginable emotion was clamoring to show themselves: anger, disgust, fear, murder, protectiveness… _oh my God…_ I remember when John came into my classroom earlier this week. He tried to warn me. _I didn’t listen and I wasn’t prepared for this to happen._

“Just imagine the fallout from a horrible stepfather like that. Fuck, Christian, I’m saying too much already. I see that you sincerely care for her and it is not my business to know why. But—it is my business if this relationship does continue that she doesn’t get hurt. Emotionally and physically. If I had my way, I’d have you break it off now before I must go to the board and report this indiscretion. But I won’t—not yet. Luckily for the both of you, I saw her happiness. I know she has not had things to take comfort and joy—except for that fact that she literally escaped to come back here to stay with her stepfather Ray. You wonder how I know this? I’ll let you know that between counselors we can share much more details of students, especially if there is information that may be essential to meeting the needs of the students.”

It was a lot to take in. If I gather what he is saying, Ana had essentially been abused—possibly sexually and most likely physically by him. More conversation Ana and I shared came flooding back:

_"So you don't like her new husband?"_

_"No, but he hates me as much as I despise him."_

_"What did he do that makes you think he hates you?"_

_"It doesn't matter now. I moved here to get away from all that."_

She tried to tell me as much then, too.

“Christian, what are you going to do now, now you have an inkling of what Ana is about. She is damaged Christian, and what are your plans with her?” John was calmer now and he spoke very softly.

“I will leave teaching for her. I thought that teaching was something I could do and my mother thought that it would be a good career, but I want Ana more. I need just two weeks to put my notice in as well as I need to solidify my plans with my brother.”

“Does Ana know any of this? What if she were to possibly refuse you? How would you recover from throwing your career away for someone who may not reciprocate your feelings?”

I know John is trying to put things into perspective for me. I know as much as he is trying to protect Ana I know that he at least wants to have me come out somewhat unscathed from this. “She has said things this week that give me hope that she may care for me as well. I should go with my gut feeling. I have to throw caution to the wind and hope that an ill wind does not blow back.”

John glances down at his watch, “It’s getting late; my wife is waiting and I have to get going. Christian, I will delay the board if I can, but I need to have your word that you can finish within a couple of weeks. I sincerely don’t want to have this come out before you are still technically her teacher.”

I don’t know why he is helping me; by all rights he should report this to the schoolboard and to Ray.

_Shit._

John wants to protect Ana because he knows most of her secrets, but Ray… If I were a father with a daughter like Ana and she was to enter a relationship with a 23-year-old man, I would go ballistic. _I am a hypocrite_. My stomach dropped. I should leave my job and just go far from here. Somewhere where I can’t be tempted to see or contact her. But I can’t. I just can’t. I kissed her lips and I felt her heartbeat under my palms. It is impossible to leave her. Even thinking it now tears me asunder. Once could more easily tear the smashing waves away from the cliffs.

As John stands to leave, I hold a firm grip on his shoulder, “Than you for giving me time, John. I know you are in a sensitive spot; I will start with my plans as soon as possible.” John smiles, but I still can sense that he possibly has his own internal war—between his duty as a counselor and with the duty of possibly helping me by bending the rules.

 

**Ana POV**

Waking this morning was the best in a long time. I yawn and stretch, feeling the pull from my toes to my fingertips. _Last night._ Last night was magical, even with the forced attentions of José. Ray is downstairs possibly burning toast. I smile and start humming that song when my phone buzzes beside me.

“Ana!” Kates frantic voice resounded in my ear. “When did you leave? I searched for you. We all did.” Kate’s voice barely held back the tears.

“Calm down, Kate, I took a cab home. I wasn’t feeling the best, so I left. You seemed to be in good hands with Elliot.” I feel bad about my lie but I think now is not the best time to mention José.

“Thank God you’re okay. Ana, but how do you feel _now_?” Kate’s question took me by surprise. I wasn’t sure what she was on about. “Ana, something weird happened last night. I don’t remember much after you and I were talking with Elliot. “I think I blacked out.” Kate was pushing out her words to quickly for me to keep up.

 _No wonder why she is frantic._ “Slow Down, Kate. Tell me what happened!” My thoughts were going into hyper drive. Kate wasn’t drinking alcohol and there is a possible obvious explanation for her black out.

“One minute I am embracing Elliot at the bar when you left back with José, and then I woke up here in my bed.” Kate seemed to gather her thoughts and was speaking more clearly now. “Nathan woke me this morning asking all sorts of crazy things about what I drank and ate. Luckily Elliot got Nathan quickly and they brought me home.”

“Kate give me some time to get ready. I’m coming over and I’ll bring back the clothes.” Something worse could have happened and I need to see if she’s okay.

**Christian POV**

I came back after a long run. There were two voicemail messages waiting on my phone:

_Bro, where’d you go. I met a real hot blonde and I want you to meet her. Call me._

And from Elena:

_Christian, so lovely to hear from you. I must say that I am intrigued by the urgent—yet cryptic message you left on my phone. Let’s meet today, darling and you can tell me all about it!_

_Hot blonde. Miss Katherine Kavanagh. Barely 18 years old._ Elliot is not going to like that…

I toss the phone on the bed and get ready to take a shower. I have a lot to think about. John neither tried to convince of me nor deter me from my plans. They simply were. Mind you, he was certainly definitive about giving me only two weeks to do want I need to do.


	19. Chapter 18

A/N: Thank to all the likes/follows and messages sent. I appreciate it.

***Caution! Stop reading now for molestation possible trigger alert: This chapter seems to be getting a little dark – even though this is only supposed to be a light and fluffy unicorn and rainbows bridge/filler chapter –but there is a damaging ‘Steve scene’ ahead which I hope no one is upset by.* I apologize in advance. (I also edited it several times and weaned out most of the unpleasantness!)**

**p.s.: Thanks for the pep chat, Nedbella. You rock! Thanks to KMariaJ for ‘talking me off the ledge’ and by giving me the advice to make that ‘yucky’ scene tamer! I released this last week but pulled it 12 hours later. Still just not too impressed with this chapter.**

**On a good note, tomorrow is Victoria Day and it is a national holiday and I can start CH19! Woo hoo!**

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

**CH18**

**Christian POV**

 I’m seated at the same table in the same restaurant where we met on Wednesday. Why Elena wanted to meet here is beyond me. I thought the waiter we had last time was going to have a stroke when he saw me entering the lobby. I still chuckle to myself. He obviously remembers _me_ and I catch him looking bleakly around the dining area attempting to predict any demands I might have. _Still great service though!_

It’s Saturday afternoon and the streets are busy with shoppers catching up on errands and people in general swarming to get sun. Here the sun seems such a rare occurrence with the typical rainy springtime here in Washington.  I hope it will last throughout rock climbing with Elliot tomorrow.

Noises rouse me from my thoughts as I first hear and then see Elena enter the room. I never noticed her being quite a force before. I know she is assertive and to some point aggressive. She has business savvy and I know that she will achieve anything that she can possibly think of doing. She can be a pioneer, which leaves me to wonder why she is married to a school administrator…

“Christian, my darling! Thanks for meeting me,” Elena drawls. I stand to greet her and she leans her face in expecting a kiss on her cheeks. Surprised, I oblige and kiss her.

She is wearing a brilliant white pant suit; the only colour on her is a slash of red from the silk scarf around her neck and the matching red leather MK bag. I, on the other hand am dressed more relaxed. I’m wearing worn blue jeans and a heather t-shirt on under a suit jacket. I want this to reinforce that this is not a date, but to casually suggest that this meeting is more business related.

I pull out a chair for her and seat her before I rest back into my chair. I don’t quite know how to make my proposal, but I decide that the direct way is the easiest. She makes it easier for me.

“Christian, do tell me more about that cryptic message you left me. I am so intrigued,” she says. Her eyes are on me and her smile is grand. _Why is this so creepy?_

I am grateful that she started first. “Well, I want to make a business proposal.  With me I have the original proposal that I prepared for the banks, but I fear that I need money possibly sooner than later.” I am so nervous. I hate asking her for help since she has given so much help to me for the last few years. And she has helped me in so many other ways, but I want this to be the final request I make of her. And in this moment I know why I am nervous: Ana. I need this loan to start a chain reaction which ends at me leaving teaching for good and being able to (hopefully?) date Ana freely. I hand her the blue portfolio with my business proposal and pay back schedules.

Elena looks surprised, but accepts the folio and begins to read it. Her eyes aren’t giving away her thoughts as her fingers skim along the chaptered paragraphs. She seems impressed. I think. Although her jaw is a little tense she is definitely hard to read at times…

“So, you need capital to invest in a landscaping company with your brother,” she says dismissively _. Oh no…_ She taps the papers so they fall even within the folio. She then places the folio on the table and pushes it toward me.

“Elliot already owns his company and it is more than mere landscaping. It is a contracting company and he needs to expand into retrofit his designs into using greener and more earth-friendly materials and practices.” I am trying hard to keep on the script I rehearsed earlier. I want to focus on the long term benefits of going green to help getting over the shock of the ticket prices for going green.

“What is your take from this? You’re not a builder.” We pause as the waiter arrives with our water. His face is ashen and from what I can see, Elena is even more memorable than _I_ was on our last visit. He takes our orders and retreats back to the kitchen.

I get back to answering her question. “I want to be the business lead. I know I have a way of charming people to see my way when I need to. Is it working?” I laugh. I wait for her response and when there isn’t one, I continue.  ”No, seriously, I know that I can use my business sense to help garner clients and suppliers, but to also extend this business into something global. I want to turn green habits into global green policy.” I’m in my element and I am getting more impassioned. “This is beyond sorting cans and composting. This is recycling, reusing, and reducing in its most basic form. I want to then change how manufacturing is done. I want to change _why_ manufacturing is needed. I want to overhaul a system which causes too much pollution and floods the world with too much stuff!” I stop and grab my water. The water is cold and feels nice going down after such a long speech.

Elena watches my hands and smirks. She smiles before she takes a sip from her glass. “Christian that was a very impassioned and eloquent speech. I am quite impressed.” She reaches for her bag and fishes out her wallet. She signs a cheque and passes it to me. “Is fifty thousand good enough for now? I can clear more from my bank on Monday.” She is serious and I hope that it was my proposal that wooed her into signing.  She takes the folio and begins signing the contracts.

I take the folio and sign copies also. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help. I know that I can easily pay you back in due time with interest.” I take her copies and place them in another folder to hand to her. This transaction seems quite easy now that it’s done.

“So, what about teaching? How are you going to do both? It’s gonna be a tough ride for you,” she says, tucking the folio in her purse.

“I’m leaving teaching.” I catch her surprise. “I told you numerous times about Ana and I want to pursue her without putting my current career and the school’s name at risk,” I say quietly. The room is not full, but I think that this discussion needs to be handled with a more delicate hand. “With your help I can get out of teaching and start something new –and hopefully with her.”

The waiter comes with our plates and I almost miss the blanching in her face. “Elena, what is wrong?” Her face is greener than the trout she ordered. _These sconce lights are still not flattering for her…_

Elena is silent for a moment. “Christian, are you seriously going to throw your career away and for a girl who may _not_ want you?” she hisses. Her lovely features are getting jagged and I am quite surprised with her tone.

“Elena, teaching was never for me. I once thought so, but it isn’t –not anymore. I want to change the way my life is heading and I want to be with Ana.” I feel relief at admitting something so secret to her, just as I have already admitted it to John.

“Very well then,” she says cutting this conversation to a close. She has regained her composure. She stiffly gathers her fork and begins eating.

_Wow... At least the waiter was amusing._

 

**Ana POV**

Kate is lying belly down on her bed when I come bursting through her bedroom door. I toss the garment bag and shoes over her chair and I rush over to hug her. She is amused and hugs me back. I lower her laptop to the floor and lie down beside her. “Tell me what the heck happened last night,” I say.

“That’s what I’d like to know, honestly,” Kate says, “One minute I’m laughing and flirting with Elliot and the next minute I’m here in bed.”

I think about the likelihood of Elliot and possible wrong-doing, but Nathan claims that when Kate was getting groggy he immediately went to get him and brought her home. I believe him too. _If Elliot was up to no good he had every chance to make off with Kate._

She doesn’t seem any worse for wear, although I think that Nathan may have scared her more. I quietly spoke to Nathan in kitchen the when I arrived so he gave me the details that Kate couldn’t. Nathan likes to pick on Kate and be an insufferable git of a brother, but I know he feels bad for not keeping a better eye on her last night.

 She rolls onto her back and our heads share a pillow. I find this situation as interesting since I am still getting used having a best friend. Aside from the situation that brings me here, it is nice to spend girl time with her. I finger one of the curls still remaining in her hair and tickle her nose with it. “Nathan woke me up and asked me if I remember what I ate and drank. I said I had one or two tonic and lime drinks, and that I gave one of them to you.” She pauses, “How come you’re fine?”

“I didn’t drink anything. I spilled the drink you gave me on my hand so I put it back on the bar.” I didn’t need to get into details on how mad José made me. “I left a bit after that.” _Well, after Christian…_

We lay there for what seems like hours. It’s nice that we can just sit back and enjoy each other.   

“So, since your date with Jack was less than stellar, what about José?” Kate breaks the silence and effectively changes the topic. “I know he’s interested in you. From the bit I saw of you both last, he couldn’t keep his hands off you.”  She sees what could only be an astounded look on my face and she starts back-pedalling. “Well, I mean, you don’t have a boyfriend and you don’t seem to be interested in any of the boys in school—unless you’re not into _boys_ specifically… and… um… well that’s okay too…”

I shake my head slowly. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I settle for laughing. “Kate, I do like boys. Just haven’t found any worth mentioning yet.” I evade her yet again. _Christian is not a boy…_  I close my eyes and inhale and exhale slowly. Her room smells of vanilla candles and it meshes nicely with the freesia conditioner in her hair.

“No, not José. He’s becoming like a brother to me.” _Yeah, a real grabby brother…_

She is not to be deterred. She is the most tenacious person I have ever met. “What about Nathan? He may have hinted that you clean up good.” Kate’s tinkling laugh filled the room. She snickers and elbows me playfully off the pillow. I roll over her and effectively squash her and cuddle her. I grab her head and kiss her forehead. “You’re a goofball,” I joke.

“Okay. I get it. No boys.” Her laughter slows and her tone takes on a more serious note. “Is it because of _that_?” She nods toward my chest and I can only assume she means my scars. I know I promised one day I would tell her more, but today is not that day. “Somewhat,” I say and leave it at that.

 _Enough with the heavy…_ “So… Elliot, huh?” I say to distract her.

Kate smirks, but otherwise likes where the topic of conversation is heading. I figure that talking about Elliot will be a great distraction.   _And it works!_

 

X x X

 

I get ready to leave and have to fight off the ever-so-effective Kavanagh puppy dog eyes. “Please come on our date. He won’t mind. He can even call his brother for a double date!” Kate is a powerhouse and a force to be reckoned with it is so hard to say no to her. I can’t even contemplate going on a date with anyone else.

_It is just too early to tell her that I am already in love._

_X x X_

Sunday morning’s light creeps through my windows like a sorority girl past curfew. My mornings are now happy and I lounge and stretch like sated kitties lying in the sunlight. I remember it. I remember it all: that beautiful song weaving into my memory as his hands were on me… my hand fisted in his shirt… his lips on mine…not pushing, but instead pulling him closer…

I shut my eyes tight. I exhale slowly and run one finger slowly from my neck to my chest. I fist my other hand in my sheets. I feel empowered to claim my body and touch it how _I_ want. How I should. _Because it’s mine._

My mind however has other plans. I suppress the sudden urge to gag as my body remembers _Steve’s_ hands on me. I force the image of Christian again into the forefront of my mind and my hand travels to my breast. I slide it under my bra and feel the texture of my nipple beading. I unfurl my other hand from the sheets and slide it to my other breast. I squeeze and electric currents are shooting all the way to my toes. I inhale again and I swear I can smell Christian’s aftershave. _Oh God…_

My breathing is rapid and I am falling prey to the sensations that I am creating. It feels incredible but I know if I don’t concentrate harder the images of Steve and his wandering hands will rip this fantasy apart.

One hand slides south and tucks under my panty. My hips buck slowly on their own accord and I reach my destination. I squeeze my eyes even tighter and my body is becoming riotous… a million different thoughts heading a million different directions. My nerve endings are on fire and I feel like my skin is rippling away from my body. Everything is binary; ones and zeros flood my system like endorphins. The feeling is so sublime and I am starting to feel like I am spinning—

But then a memory of Steve breeched my defences and my breath is ripped out of me:

_I am home from school today because I am sick. I am cuddled up in my bed reading, even though the TV is showing cartoons. I am 11 or 12. Steve sent mom on errands before he went to work._

_Sometime later I hear the door open and call for mom. I am thirsty and want a drink._

It wasn’t mom.

_Steve is standing on my doorway. He looks angry. He is always angry. He enters my doorway and closes the door. In a flash he is on me. One arm is pulling the blankets down while his other one grabs and pulls both of my hands over my head. I try to kick him but his weight is on my legs and I can’t move the blankets._

_I am trying to scream but no sounds come out. Tears fall causing everything to be a stinging altered reality. It’s like looking through sea glass. The smell of old cigarettes and mint mouthwash hit me as his mouth closes down on mine. “Scream and I’ll kill you and your mother. You just behave like a good girl and you and I will play a little game…”_

_Twisted panties pushed down to my lead feet… tears burn and silence tears away my cries from my throat… all breathing dies when a bite sears my shoulder_.

_Silence... no motion… too weak from the flu and fighting._

_“Such a good, good girl.” He coos and as he’s gone… humming._

_Hush little baby, don’t say a word, daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird…_

I taste the silvery acrid taste of bile. My throat and nose are burning and I realize that I am now back in my bedroom and my eyes rip wide. I gasp, not in pleasure, but in horror. I throw off the covers and run to my bathroom just in time to vomit.

 

**Christian POV**

I meet Elliot at the climbing club at noon. The weather held out and it is a gorgeous day. I am standing near the trunk where I grab my bag and my climbing gear.

“Hey, baby bro,” Elliot quips as he slows his car beside me before parking. He steps out and claps me on the shoulder. “Who’s gonna reach the top first this time?”

I roll my eyes. Last time I beat him to the top because I distracted him with the mention of a red-head standing below on the mats, and from our height above it would have made a great view. _It was a cheat, but hey, it was also a win!_

We make our way inside. Two beautiful women smile as we pass. I’m used to women’s attention, but I look over at Elliot and he is not even paying attention. In the past coming here was his excuse to meet women. Today he seems determined to actually just climb today. _Wow._

We suit up with our shoes, gloves, helmets, and harnesses and get strapped in. The associate checks our cables and we get the go ahead to begin. Elliot smirks at me and pushes me, gaining the lead. Being one who can’t leave a challenge unanswered, I close in from behind.

Elliot reaches the flag and wins our race. I laugh and tease him by pulling his cables. “Your round of drinks later, little bro,” he smirks as he pulls the locking mechanism from his cable and rappels swiftly to the mats below. I chuckle to myself and make a point to descend much more slowly, just to irk him.

X  x X

 

Later we get to the pub for a late lunch. The waiter brings our wings and beers so I decide now to share the good news. “Elliot, I have the money to invest in your company. I signed the contract for the loan yesterday.”

“Thanks, man. I knew you’d come through. We can make this work, I know it.” Elliot is all smiles. I know he is excited for me to finally join his business as he jokes that teaching is not where my true talents lie. He always reminds me that I am a natural born businessman. _Besides, it’s a great way to get chicks, Elliot reminds me._

X  x X

“So, Friday night,” Elliot says as he gets his second beer, “Did you happen to see that beautiful blonde I was with?” Elliot has that dreamy look in his eyes when I see that he is infatuated (yet again) with a new woman.

I have no idea what to say to him. Should I tell him that she is a high school student who’s barely eighteen or do I feign ignorance and pretend I do not know who she is? I decide on feeling him out. “Yes, she was very lovely. Did she happen to tell you how old she is?” I hedge. I reach over and drain my glass. No more beer for me. I need a clear head to drive.

“No, it’s rude to ask a lady her age. It’s gauche.” Elliot smiled and pretended to be affronted. “Besides, I’m sure that she is in her mid twenties. It should be okay, I’m only twenty-eight. Oh, she has a friend that I am supposed to convince you to double-date with us.” He pulls his cell phone out and scrolls through the menu. “The friend’s name is Ana and Kate put her number in my phone should I need to use my witty charm and veritable good looks to convince her to go on a date with my scruffy baby brother.” Elliot chuckles. He never gets tired of calling me scruffy.

“Speaking of charm, I gotta go to the men’s. Be right back.” Elliot tosses his phone on the table and bolts to the men’s room. _Charming, Elliot…_

I take the phone and quickly grab and memorize Ana’s cell phone number. I add it to my contacts and as I save it, I think of something devilishly naughty. _This is what he gets for just being him!_

I look over to see if he is coming back and since the coast is clear, I grab his phone again. I find Kate’s number and send a text:

**Hi Baby. Missing you!  E.G.**

**_Hi Sweetie, missing you more… K.K_ **

**_Friday night. What happened? Nathan had me scared. K.K_ **

I am about to respond with something naughty but I see Elliot leave the bathroom and head toward our table and I just have enough time to exit messaging menu.  _Friday night. What happened? Nathan had me scared… What the hell?_ Shit. I can’t ask Elliot because then he will know that I looked in his phone. I try a subtler approach.

“Elliot, did this lovely lady get a guided tour of ‘Casa Elliot’ at the end of the night?” I say. I played on hinting for details, but I was surprised when his face sobers and he looks ashen.

“No - nothing like that. I would have, you know –I always do- but there is something I’d like to develop into possibly more with her, but later that night she suddenly became limp and passed out. I was terrified so I got her brother and we took her home.”

“Sorry, Elliot. I only wanted to tease you but … wow… I see that things went badly.” _Holy shit…_ ”Do they know what it was caused by?” My head is spinning and I am frantic to remember if Ana could be affected, but she was fine when I put her in the cab.

“Nathan and I suspect she was roofied, and that is why I went and got him—just to be sure. And when Nathan looked her over, he heartily agreed. “But who would do that? She was with me all evening and Ana, too for a bit. And their friend José, but he was with Ana more.”

_Yeah, he was…I remember José all too well that night…_

I need to get out of here. “Elliot, I have marking to complete. We’ll discuss more tomorrow.” I grab my coat and go. I barely hear him saying goodbye.

I rip my phone from my jacket when I close the car door. I scroll through my contacts and stop on Ana’s number. I don’t care that she will ask how I got her number. I am too freaked to care. I text:

**_Ana, What happened Friday night? C_ **

_Shit_. I hit delete. I can’t ask her that because she will ask how I know Kate was possibly drugged. I will have to see tomorrow when I get to school.

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A/N: I took so long releasing this chapter because of the Steve scene was very dark and explicit on the first three drafts. I’m a bit happier with this version because a lot of the graphic/explicit sex was removed. At least this version is a bit more connotative.


	20. Chapter 19

A/N: Thanks for all of the polite reviews for CH18!

Also Happy Birthday to KMariaJ! *She said this had to be posted today OR ELSE!*

This one is a little shorter than my typical chapters, but I need to end it where I do. On a good note I have the next chapter mapped out!

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**CH 19**

**Christian POV**

I punch the player button and the music plays as I shift and reverse out of my parking spot.  The Police are belting out a tune about a teacher and his student having an affair. _Huh,_ _How fitting_ …

_“…_ _Young teacher, the subject Of schoolgirl fantasy She wants him so badly Knows what she wants to be_

_…Inside her there's longing This girl's an open page Book marking, she's so close now This girl is half his age…_

I leave the parking lot and signal to turn right. I look down at the flashing light my phone sitting on the passenger seat. I am caught between the urge to drive around the city imagining where Ana may live against the urge of accessing school files to get her address. It’s definitely a darker shade of gray getting information that way and I could get reprimanded severely.

_…Don’t stand so, don’t stand so close to me—“_

The last sound I hear is glass shattering and metal crumpling inside itself. Time is stuck in glue and I know every second feels so heavy that the cubes of fragmented glass move sluggishly and the shimmers of light trapped between them escape as it explodes. My phone is somersaulting toward the dashboard and my arms which have foolishly left the security of the steering wheel cage my face as I hurtle toward the dashboard…

 

**Ana POV**

_12:06pm_

_Ana, need to talk._

_Please forgive me. I was_

_an idiot on Friday._

_-JR_

_1:11pm_

_*Crickets*_

_Please, please text me back._

_-JR_

_2:30pm_

_Come on! Just call me back._

_Just let me apologize to you._

_-JR_

 

I toss the phone on my bed. I am frustrated with José, but the softer and kinder side of me wants to forgive him. It’s my fault; I should have expected something like that to happen. He has been touchy-feely all week and but I didn’t have the guts to stop him. I turn back to my homework. José can stew for a bit. I want to get these assignments completed quickly to have Mr. Gray grade them tomorrow. 

 

I sigh and pick up my phone and reply:

 

_2:45pm_

_José I am still mad_

_but you are forgiven._

_We’ll talk tomorrow._

_-AS_

 

 

**Christian POV**

 

Images blur past me but don’t make any sense. It’s like being on a subway train in a tunnel where lights flick quicker as it speeds faster along the tunnel. My body is yanked and thrown and my eyes are being torn open and lights blinding me. Muddled voices are asking me my name and telling me to stay awake. I think I hear Elliot screaming but it still seems kinda dreamy.

I hear fabric being cut and I feel the chill on my chest as my shirt is ripped open. I feel a brace being forced around my neck. I want to speak but I can’t make my lips move. It is like I forgot language. I raise my hands to push them away but they are stilled and pushed back as iron straps lock them to my sides.

It is calming and peaceful so I give in to sleep as I sway from side to side.

X x X

I ache. Everywhere I bloody ache. I hear the beeps of some machine and soft breathing near me. I manage to open my eyes a little. I see the outline of an angel and her soft fingers linger around my wrist and cheek. _Ana! I’ve got to see her._

 I sit up but my angel is pushing me back. My vision clears but I see only Grace.

“Mother—“

“Lie still, Sweetheart. You’ve had a nasty accident.” Her voice seems calm but I still hear the panic in them. It’s the same panic from years ago when I would come and go at all hours of the night. As drunk and messed-up as I would come home back then I would always hear her cry.

She presses the button on the bed panel and I slowly rise. She helps me sit up and reaches over for the pitcher of ice chips. “Can you take some of this?”

I nod and she brings the cup close. She pulls out a chip and gently rubs it across my lip. It stings at first but has a gratifying numbness afterward. She pops it in and I taste traces of blood as I swallow.

She flips open the chart and reads the injuries. She nods as she reads the list. It is the doctor in her; she has her practical medical side which automatically calculates the damages and the chance of recovery. But the mom in her fights with the injuries and the physical pain that it causes me.

“So, what’s the verdict?” I joke as her head lifts off the page. She was so quiet that I am quite curious.

“This is nothing to joke about, Christian,” she says, “You could have been critically hurt—or worse killed.” She puts the chart back on the clip at the foot of my bed and pulls the best upset mother face. “Christian, you have three fractured ribs, some cranial swelling, a broken fibula and tibia, a broken ulna and radial bone. All on your left side—do you know how hard it is to recover from that?” She shakes her head and continues. “The police mentioned to me that you were t-boned by a truck that ran a red light.”

 _Seems about right. I feel like I was hit by a truck._ My left side hurts like a bitch. I feel casts on my arm and leg and I know my ribs are bound. My head aches and there is still a ringing in my ears. I search the bed for the cable to increase the pain meds in my drip.

I swear I hear Grace ask who Ana is as the meds drag me under…

 

**Ana POV**

I get ready for school early. My books are packed in my kitbag and I’ve already eaten. I haven’t seen Mr. Gray since we kissed on Friday. My palms are sweaty and I know Ray thinks something’s up because he curiously watched me flit around the kitchen during breakfast. I rolled my eyes when Ray made extra tea hoping I would calm down.  

It took forever to get dressed. I’m usually not one to get too fancy, but it was nice to make an effort today. I settle with a messy bun with tendrils and wore jeans and my Chucks. I pinched my cheeks like Kate taught me and hoped for the best.

X x X

Ray dropped me off at the main doors where José and Kate were waiting. I gave her a hug and José brief wave. Kate gives me a knowing glance and I know she doesn’t want to discuss Friday’s events in front of him.

José luckily breaks the silence by begging forgiveness. “Ana, I’m so sorry about Friday. I wasn’t myself.”

“Friday? What happened on Friday?” Kate is confused and looks at my flinch and José’s earnest expression.

I was about to respond but José interjects, “I hit on Ana and kissed her. She however, was not as receptive.”

I looked into his eyes to see if he was being sincere or not. He did seem genuinely sincere. “I forgive you, José, but you have to understand that I don’t feel the same for you. We can ever only be friends.” I say this softly and hope that he will accept this once and for all.

X x X

Lunchtime came and went and I was getting nervous about seeing Mr. Grey. While José was in line paying for his lunch and out of hearing range Kate assured me that she was okay from what happened on Friday and that she did not want José to know. Kate seemed embarrassed about it so I let it be.

I made excuses and said my goodbyes so I could head to class early. I can’t explain why I didn’t want Kate and José walking me here today. I just didn’t. Maybe it would be a tell-tale look between us. Maybe it would be fluttering hearts and stuttering tongues. Maybe I would be stilled if he had company with him in his classroom. Maybe it would be a prolonged glance misinterpreted by a teacher lounging in the hallway. _This is unchartered territory…_

I wait and wait. Others in my class have arrived on time but there was no sign of Mr. Grey. I was getting worried and was becoming over reactive. I was starting to draw attention to myself as I paced in circles and kept glancing from his door to both ends of the hallway. He promised me. _He said I’d see him today._ Tears were forming I had to hide my face in the crook of my elbow. I had to hide the tears from the others. 

The crowd was broken by the school secretary posting a note on his door which read classes are cancelled until further notice.

Tears burst through as I ran through the crowd and down the hallway. People called my name but I didn’t dare stop. To stop was to cry and I wouldn’t allow that.

I didn’t stop until I realized I was at the front door of my house.

 


	21. Chapter 20

A/N: Thanks for all the urges to keep writing (you know who you are!) as I still would be several chapters behind if it were not for your texts and emails!

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Chapter 20

Ana

I wake to the sound of a soft rap on my bedroom door. I lean and peer over to my side table and see that the clock reads almost 8pm. Confused, I see that I still have my shoes and coat on. I shuck my jacket and toe my shoes off and they fall haphazardly to the floor.

More rapping on the door continues. “Ana, are you awake?”

I jump out of bed and turn the light on. I look in the mirror and take stock of my appearance.  _Ugh…_ My ponytail is askew and my eyes and face are puffy. I jump back over to the bed and lean against the wall. “Come in, Ray.”

Ray nudges to door softly and appears with a tray of food. _Ray was cooking?_ He sets the tray down on the edge of my bed and pulls a chair from the corner and takes a seat. He looks worried, but that is hidden by his quick frown. He eyes the tray and knows it was his best attempt at cooking. “Are you okay, Ana?”

“Fine Ray, I’m just a little tired, I guess.” I can’t talk to Ray about this. He won’t understand. I try for proactive distraction. “What is that Ray?” I ask, nodding to the covered tray.

”I know I’m no great chef, but it’s supposed to be your supper,” he smiles and lifts the cover. “Voila! Spaghetti with tinned tomato sauce, and of course your favourite tea.” He tosses a napkin and a fork over to me. “I was worried that you didn’t show for supper and that you were out. You never miss mealtime. But your book bag is downstairs at the doorway so I figured you were here.”

“Yeah, rough day today,” I say and I know he is concerned but he never has the words to offer for comfort. Loquacious, he is not. I poke the pasty mass around with my fork and try mixing in the sauce but it was a lost cause. I catch Ray’s eyes and smile. “Guess I’ll try the tea.”

Ray mumbles his apologies and takes the plate and sets it back on the tray. I hold the steaming hot tea with both hands and raise it to my lips. I inhale the minty wafts swirling above the rim. I begin to relax and sink closer to the wall. “I can bring you toast instead.”

“No, that’s ok, I’m fine.” I stare into his eyes and I know he wants to talk about so much more and that is why I love him so much; he won’t force conversations that I am not ready to have.

Ray stands and quietly makes his way to the door.  He turns and pauses, his plat palm lightly gripping the door jamb. He gives me a lingering glance and it is obvious that he wants to stay longer and talk. He gives me his million dollar smile which is not quite reaching his eyes.  I sink my head downward to face my tea. This conversation is closed for now; but he knows that one day I will share more with him. 

Ray’s footsteps fade as he makes his way downstairs. I set the now empty teacup on the bedside table and curl back into my pillow. Fat tears roll out and my lungs thrust all oxygen it once contained.  I feel sucker-punched.  _Christian didn’t show…_

 

Christian

There is buzzing and the sound of beeps and shuffling around me. I am hearing more and more as I wake.  The buzzing turns into whispers as I waken to the sounds around me.  I feel pain and the heaviness of the blankets and the pulling of tape. I feel something soft and warm in my hand. I give a gentle squeeze.

“Christian!” The voice could only be Mia’s. “I’m so glad you’re awake!”

“Hi Brat,” I mumble. She holds my hand tighter and adds her other one as she leans her head over it. She kisses my hand and pulls away as mom comes over to take her place.

I slowly open my eyes expecting it to be bright, but the early evening’s last light is soft among the clouds. I’m glad too because the throbbing headache I have would not tolerate light right now. I fight to focus sight through this headache. In my room I see Mia, mom, dad, and Elliot. “How long have I been here?”

“Since mid-day Sunday. You were awake briefly for a short while Sunday night but we had to put you out for another day for the cranial swelling to go down.” Grace spoke softly but I could hear relief in her voice.  “It is now Monday night, just going past 7pm.” She is holding the clipboard and is making more notes.

Past the bed and leaning against the wall is Elliot. He steps forward and comes toward us. “Dude, you look like shit!” He wears a lopsided smile. This is so Elliot; he makes jokes when he doesn’t know what else to say.  I can’t stifle a laugh and I immediately regret it. Pain sears through my abdomen and I bite back the moan.

“Elliot, that’ll be enough.” Carrick pulls Elliot to the side and then takes the chair at my bedside. My father’s rugged looks are now haggard. _Lord knows how long he’s been here._ “I’ve got to head home, son. I just wanted to make sure that you awoke.” He leaned in and gripped my shoulder. “See you tomorrow. Get some rest and be sure to listen to your mother. She’s in charge.” He smiles, but I see that it took up the last bit of his strength. He folds his suit jacket over his arm and picks up his briefcase. He walks over to Grace and kisses her forehead as he tightens his embrace. “All of you try and get some rest too,” he says as he steps away.

Grace sets the chart down and grabs a cup and pours ice water. She gently sits on my side and feeds me the straw. “Sweetheart, try to take some water.”

X x X

 

“Hey Brat, it’s not like you to be this quiet for so long. Come here.” I try to hold out my hand to her but I am as weak as a kitten. Mia soft shoes over and hops on the foot of the bed. Knowing that my left side is a train wreck she lies back and curls into my right side. Mom is about to interject so I stop here there. “Please mom, it’s okay. Let Mia stay. She is being careful.” Grace looks skeptical, but then relents and takes Elliot’s hand.

Grace looks at her watch. “Sweetheart, I have rounds to make. I’ll send the nurse in soon. Your brother and sister can stay a bit longer and if need be I can send a cot up.” Grace looks as tired as dad, but she works well under pressure and adrenaline. _This is mom ‘busy work’…_

“How are you really? And don’t say fine.” Elliot is flustered and scared. He doesn’t know how to interact in these situations. He is standing stiffly and I see his frustration mounting. “Jesus man, it’s my fault. I am so, so sorry.”

 _What?_ “What are you talking about? This was not your fault. You weren’t even near me when it happened.  It was just an accident, Elliot.” I don’t quite remember the details of the accident but I am going on what mom said earlier with the cop who came in. “You are determined to argue with me and another time it would be fun, but right now I feel like crap. I don’t blame you so don’t go blaming yourself.”

We’re interrupted by a nurse. “Mr. Gray, so nice to see you awake, just in time for me to put you to sleep again,” she chuckles. She comes to my side and checks the fluid bags hanging above me. She then follows the lines and checks the drip. She takes her needle and injects more meds into the injection port. “These meds should kick in soon Mr. Gray, and you’ll feel a bit better.” She looks beside me at my now sleeping sister. “Should we send up a cot? She doesn’t look very comfortable.”

Elliot answered. “Bro, I’ll take Mia home so you can get some rest. As the nurse said, you’re gonna be out of it for a bit.” He walks to the side and shakes Mia gently. “C’mon Brat, let’s give Christian some rest. We’ll come back tomorrow.” Mia’s protestations are not effective. In her dreams she may be a brave lioness, but it comes out as a scrappy kitten. “C’mon, Mia, time to go. Christian needs his beauty rest.”

Elliot manages to get a sleepy Mia, her purse and kitbag, as well as his own things ready. He holds my hand, careful not to pull the IV. “Tomorrow, Bro.”

The meds are kicking in and the white noise and the beeps are just ribbons of sound drifting in the breeze. It is almost blissful, even with this now dull headache that I know something or someone is missing. I hear the cadence of shoes clacking in the hallway and it is getting louder each step. My door, once slightly ajar, is pushed open to reveal a woman’s silhouette.

I meagrely attempt to call for Ana before I am pulled into a pharmaceutically induced sleep.

                                                                   X x X                                        

_“Christian…”_

_“… sweetheart … my, my… alone at last … foolish girl now… you’re mine …_

_“…I came as fast as I could … brought  in yesterday supper…”_

_“got to get better Grace…”_

I hear bits of words floating about but I cannot grasp them _. They are elusive… or illusive? I can’t tell what is real anymore…_

Ana

Tuesday.

The only godsend is that there is no class with _him_ today _._

I drudgingly spent my morning moving from one task to the next; an automaton coded with basic instructions and not expected to exceed past its programming.  I scarcely avoided questions from Ray and had hoped that my lack of eye contact would hinder any further broaching of any topic of conversation. I appeased a worried Ray with the promise of having tea and toast.

I shouldn’t have bothered coming to school at all. I was basically catatonic in class and marched zombie-like from class to class.  By lunchtime Kate had just about enough of my behaviour.

“Ana, snap out of it! What is wrong with you today?” Kate grumbled. “You’re walking around like a fart in a spacesuit.” This is the hard ass no–nonsense Kate I’ve come to love and admire. I just don’t like being on _this_ side of her temper. “Is this about José?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. It’s just a bad mood I guess,” I lie _. I can hardly tell her that I made a monumental fool of myself with Mr. Gray and that his absence confirms what I know all along about opening your heart to someone:  they will ultimately break it._

José is walking toward us. He eyes the seat next to me but then flops down in the one beside Kate. _Wise…_ He opens his paper bag and pulls out sandwiches. He offers us one and I tacitly decline.  “Ana, are you all right? You don’t seem yourself today. If it’s about Friday, I am truly sorry.”

“I’m sorry… I just… I just can’t— “I stand and push the chair back. I grab my bag and zip it closed. I run past students and those who are too slow to clear my path become victims of my shoving.  I spy an alcove with a trash can and head in. I crouch and lean my back against the brick wall.  The smell wafting from the trash is almost overwhelming, but this spot does allot my privacy.

X x X

My solitude is broken by the soft tones of an Englishman. _Mr Flynn…_ “Ana, are you ok?” He is crouching but keeps a few feet from me. I thought that I was well hidden but I guess anyone who is that determined can find me. “Would you like to have a chat in my office?” He extends his hand and leans forward to help me stand.

I trust him. He is the most disarming man aside from Ray that I have ever met. I don’t know why I agree to go with him, but in truth a chair and a nice cup of tea is better than the cold brick wall of a smelly alcove. I sit in his big comfy chair. It is black leather and has well-worn telltale cracks. It is thickly padded and I sink immediately into it like a hug. I curl my feet in and I feel like I am sitting in a large catcher’s mitt.  I know its purpose is to relax anyone who may sit in it, but I know that it looks expensive and does not match his other furnishings. He must have purchased this on his own. 

He passes me a dainty teacup and saucer filled with steaming tea. I bring it close and inhale its unique fragrance. “Twinings?” I ask as I lean forward and add a bit of milk from the small pitcher.

“No, Red Rose, actually. A gift from a Canadian colleague. Orange Pekoe. It’s my new favourite – sacrilege for any blue-blooded citizen of the British Empire.” He smirks and seems impressed with little self-deprecating joke. “It’s a good thing I’m not a Blue Blood,” he chuckles.

I smile and take a sip. He is not wrong; this tea is very smooth and lovely. Its aroma curls up and cuddles the senses. I close my eyes and curl back into the chair.

“Ana, may I ask you why I found you hiding among the bins?” The question was both direct and polite. It pulled me from the comfort, but did not make me ill at ease. I open my eyes and look into his concerned ones.

“Mr. Flynn, I don’t need to bother you with my troubles. I know you must see a lot of students and I don’t need to take up any more of your valuable time.” My tea is almost finished and I start to sit up. He sees my intent to leave and he puts his hand out to stop me.

“Please stay, Ana. I feel we have things to discuss and it will take some time. Don’t worry about your next class. I will email your teacher that you will be absent with permission. Just think of this as an impromptu session.”

I give in and sit back. There is something about his soothing voice and the comfort of his chair which keep me there. I am truly resting and I guess I need it despite the awkward conversation that I am sure is to follow.

“Ana, first of all your troubles _are_ my troubles and please don’t ever feel like yours are any less important than any other’s. And secondly, my time _is_ your time.” He sits back and smiles, “Call it perks of being a counsellor.” He stands and takes my teacup. “More?” He pours our tea and adds milk to both and passes it back to me.

“Please know that you can see me at any time, Ana. I know you are starting to settle in here and are making friends. Kate, isn’t she? And José and Jack as well, if I am not mistaken.” He notes my confusion and continues. “I’ve seen you and Kate behaving like two peas in a pod.”

“Yes, Kate is like a sister I wish I had.”

“I’m glad. Look, I’ll be frank with you; I have a brief understanding of your life before coming here. I know my role here is to be your guidance counsellor in relation to your studies, but I have the ability to go a bit beyond that scope if you permit me. Or if my ugly British mug offends you I can recommend a therapist external to the school – with your father’s permission of course.” His smile is deep and his eyes crinkle.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” My voice is a whisper and I wonder if this is platitude or if I am really serious about taking him up on his offer. My stubborn and defensive self wants to decline his offer but my helpless and despairing self wants to embrace it.

“I want to discuss something from Friday night that may make you uncomfortable.” He picks his teacup and takes a few sips before he begins again. “I don’t know how to start but I guess I will just start at the beginning. Ana, I saw you with Mr. Gray on Friday night.”

 _Oh my God…_ I am speechless. I can’t form excuses and lies and frankly, I don’t want to insult him. I can trust him; that I know as truth. I bite back any denial that was forming and swallow it. I let him continue without protest.

“I spoke with Christian that evening and told him of my concerns and discussed issues which must be handled with regards to what happened. He cannot continue to see you while he is a teacher here. He knows the seriousness of that offense should it come out to the board and the public.”

“But… I don’t know what to say. He is my teacher and I can’t deny I am growing fond of him.” _I love him…_

“I can’t go into all the details from that night, as I am sure I don’t want to add humiliation to your plate, but I should tell you that there has been an accident. There are rumours circulating around the school in regards to Mr. Gray’s absence. At first I thought that it was his efforts to him staying away from you until he got his plans settled, but later the faculty were notified that he was in a terrible car accident on Sunday and that he is in stable condition at Virginia Mason Hospital. Under these special circumstances I think you deserve to know the correct information instead of hearing speculation and half-truths.”

_Christian… oh, my Lord…_

All the questions I wanted to ask about what he saw between Christian and I and whatever plans he was referring to died on my tongue. All I was concerned about was getting out of here and getting to the hospital as soon as humanly possible. I set the cup and saucer down as softly as I could and sat up. I stood and grabbed my bag. “I’m sorry… I… I have to go.”

Mr. Flynn made no move to hinder me. He pointed to his doorway and stated, “Fifth floor.”

 


	22. Chapter 21

Sorry for the long absence!  A few birthdays and Canadian Thanksgiving took up almost every weekend. It’s almost getting to the point of death threats if I don’t get this chapter out soon! LOL… Also… this chapter is for all the kind peeps that drop me a line after every chapter! (And also for the peeps who do not!)

**Chapter 21**

**Ana POV**

I leave Flynn’s office and barrel down the hall and exit through the closest door. I don’t care if it is not the closest one to the street; I don’t need nosy teachers seeing me flee the school grounds. I make my way to the bus stop near the school.   _C’mon, c’mon… hurry…_

I toss my bag on the damp grass. The sky is dark and churlish like an old lady. _Here am I hoping that the rain holds off…_ I take my phone out and wish for the first time that it had internet. Most phones nowadays are smartphones, so I’m surprised that Ray was able to find this one. I power it on and the ringer alert is sounding off several messages that are arriving.

_12:20pm_

_Where are you?_

_K._

_12:30pm_

_C’mon Ana. Where did you go?_

_12:50pm_

_Class is almost starting. Come find me._

 

_1:11pm_

_Ana, we’re worried. Kate is looking for you._

_José_

 

_1:35pm_

_Ana. This is getting old. I said sorry. What else can I do to prove it to you?_

_José_

 

I scroll through the voice messages. _Wow._ Twelve missed messages from last night and today. _Hmm… you’d think that I’d remember to check those yesterday._

“You’re popular today,” a voice calls from behind me. Fearing it’s someone from the school I pull my hood up and tuck my hair in. I slowly turn and get ready to brace myself from possibly being outed for skipping the rest of school, but relax as the voice belongs to a young lady with a small child in tow.

“Hardly,” I reply. I pull my hood down. The air is heavy with mist and I see the vapour droplets cling to my eyelashes. I push the hair from my face but I can’t take my eyes off the child. He is about four and has an unruly shock of copper hair tucked inside the hood of his red raincoat. He pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He has beautiful gray eyes; both alert and expressive. He scans up and down the street before his eyes rest upon me.

“Hello lady!” the little one chirped.

“Hello, young man, what is your name?” I smile as his face beams. He turns and looks up to his mom who nods her head, giving him permission to chat with me.

“I’m Callum. I’m four. Is that your school? That’s a big school. I don’t go to school. My mom says next year when I’m a big boy I get to go to the big boy school.” He stops to catch his breath.

I am surprised with Callum. He is a well mannered youngster, albeit excitable and speaking a mile a minute! I am surprised that his little lungs can hold that much oxygen to speak as long as he did. He holds his mom’s hand with one and his plastic dinosaur with the other. He rests one foot behind the other as he swings from side to side.

“Careful you don’t knock your mummy over,” I say as I see mom struggling to keep her balance. She smiles and adjusts the bag on her shoulder.

“I am used to it. He is quite a handful sometimes,” she says as she rubs his hand. “I’m glad he’s my only one though,” she admits.

“We’re taking the bus, lady. Are you taking the bus? Where are you going? We’re going to the doctor. I don’t like going to the doctor. Sometimes he gives me needles. He gives me suckers too. Mommy says I’m a brave boy when I get needles and mommy lets me keep the suckers. I get stickers too! Last time I got an Iron Man sticker. I got a Minion sticker too!” He pauses and looks down the road and to me again. “I have a dinosaur. It’s a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Mommy says I should know his name instead of calling him a dinosaur. I call him Fred. Look! The bus is coming now lady. I like the bus. Mommy lets me go on my knees and lets me look out the window. I count the trucks.”

“Can you tell me which bus goes to Virginia Mason hospital?” I ask her when Callum finally takes a breath.

“We’re headed there after the children’s hospital. When we reach the depot you can take either the 2 or the 12 bus. Though I recommend the 2; it gets there sooner.”

The bus slows to a stop and we get on. I deposit my fare into the box and take a seat. I am a few seats away from Callum and his mom. I hear him chattering like a little chipmunk. I smile and think how happy his life must be. He is facing the window and his little green rain boots are hanging over the seat. He is making Fred dance in the window as he counts the cars we pass. I can’t help but to think that he reminds me of someone. I look around at all the amused faces on the bus watching him. He is cherubic and mesmerizing. He is a natural entertainer and I know the others like I am must be using his happiness as a distraction and an escape from what joylessness we may have. _If I could bottle his happiness…_

I take my phone from my pocket. My eyes roll as I debate answering the messages. I want to but I don’t know what to say. All I can think about is Christian in the hospital. Guilt sets in so I open Kate’s message and type my response:

 

_1:45pm_

_Went to see John Flynn._

_Ana_

 

It’s short and to the point. _I don’t need to add that I hid among bins like an idiot before seeing Flynn._

I opened José’s message and reply:

_1:48pm_

_Yeah, I texted Kate. I know you’re sorry. Just stop saying it; that’s getting old too._

_Ana._

 

That message is kind of mean, but his is not the nicest either. I can be petty for once…

A new message from Kate pops up:

_1:52pm_

_Ana, wait for me after class and we’ll go to my house._

_K._

 

 _It’s a bit too late for that now, Kate…_ I am not sure what to say to her. I can’t tell her about Christian and why I am on a bus during school hours heading to his hospital bedside. I feel so bad but I go for a loose-truth…

_1:55pm_

_Kate, I am not feeling well. I’ve left for the day._

_Ana_

 

It was the closest that I could get to the truth without making it an outright lie. It _is_ true that I don’t feel well and I _did_ leave class for the day.

We’re almost to the bus terminal when the sky opens up. Black and grey clouds are churning and the rumbles of thunder and lightning throw the outpour of rain. The sky darkens the bus as sheets of rain cover the windows. I lean my nose against the window and peer through the rivulets. All is blurry and has a sense of the surreal. It’s like real life, but not quite. It’s like filming in black and white but when the camera stops everything around you is still black and white.

The bus goes quiet and all that is heard for a moment is the swish-swish swishing of the windshield wipers and the bus driver cursing under his breath. Sound comes alive again. I hear the rustle of plastic and fabric as people gather their things and adjust their hoods, hats, or scarves. I hear many complain about getting soaked but not Callum; his little face lights up and he chatters about getting to splash in the puddles with his little boots and his dinosaur.

The bus pulls into its parking slot and the heavy doors open. I sit for a bit as others makes a mad rush for the door. Callum pulls on his mom’s hand and he desperately wants to get in the rain. He turns and waves Fred at me. His mom gives me a shy smile and a tiny wave before being pulled off the bus by her son.

I stand and swing my bag on my back. I pull up my hood and tuck my hair in. I approach the driver and thank him before I step off the bus. The rain falls hard and soaks into my jacket and jeans. I peer through the rain and see my bus.  I am about to head for it but suddenly I am knocked down. I see a pair of sneakers and a yellow rain jacket disappear into the bus as it pulls away. _Shit… that was the 2. I guess I wait for the 12._

I’m sprawled out in a puddle and the guy who knocked me down couldn’t be bothered to help me. I push myself up which is not easy to do with rain-soaked jeans. I stand and pull the jeans as far away from my legs as I could. My Chucks are soaked and my cotton socks are sticking to my feet. My hood is heavy with rain and slides back. _What does it matter now?_ I can’t get any wetter.

I make it over to the depot and pull the door open. I find the schedule for the 12 bus on the telescreen monitors. Luckily I only have about five minutes to wait. Rain drips into my eyes and down my cheeks and pool at my neck. I have enough time to get to the bathroom to get paper towel to dry off with.

**Christian POV**

My lunch sits uneaten on the tray. Cold hospital broth and crackers with weak tea are not all that appealing to me. I notice that Mia has helped herself to the Jell-O. Mom has been in and out a few times and doesn’t want me to get over-tired. Mia won’t leave my side and is just as happy to sit with me. She must have done a whopper of convincing to get Grace to let her skip classes. Her private school is not cheap.

The TV is on in the background but it is fuzzy. Or I am fuzzy. I really can’t tell. I look over to Mia but she is playing on her phone. I have that dull ache that never goes away no matter the amount of pain killers I take. I slowly reach over and grab the remote. The click of the TV shutting off drew Mia’s attention to me.

“You’re awake!”

“Hi, Brat,” I mumble. My lips are so dry that it was a challenge to separate them. I nod to the pitcher and Mia instinctively grabs it and a cup. She is about to feed me the straw, but I gently take the cup and hold it myself. I hate feeling the invalid. I want to show her that I can take care of myself.

The room is dim and I see sheets of rain slapping the windows. Mia stands to shut the blinds but I stop her. Opposite my room is a huge colourful high rise with panels of rich colours. I like the kaleidoscope effect it has on the windows. It almost distracts me from the pain.

Mia settles back in her chair and grabs my hand.  The sound of the rain beating against the glass falls in harmony with my soft breathing… slower and slower until I am pulled under again…

**Ana POV**

I make my way onto the 12 bus. My feet are cold and every step I take forces water and tiny bubbles out through the canvas like my toes are blowing bubbles. Any other time I would find this funny, but no, not today. My hair is soaked and plastered against my face and neck. I can only imagine what I look like right now.

I take a seat near the rear exit. The heater is blowing heat through the panels. I grip my fingers into the vent to gather the warmth. I can’t believe how cold I am and the shivers grip my neck like icy fingers. In one second of doubt I lose my focus _. I shouldn’t be here. I should be home dry in my bed with my tea. But I guess I am past the point of no return._

_What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he turns me away because his family is there?_

I open my bag and examine my books to see if there is water damage. This bag lives up to its water resistant claims. I slam the door on my mental insecurities and convince myself that I will go see him. Good or bad, I will face whatever will come. I owe myself that.

The driver slows to my stop. I thank him as I exit and I bolt through the rain to the main doors. Once inside I pull down the hood and look around. Hospitals generally have a washroom off the lobby as was typical from all the hospital visits I’d endured in the past. I spot the ladies washroom and duck inside. I turn the dry vent on and slide my icy hands in. The heat is glorious and when they’ve warmed up enough I spin the nozzle up to dry my face and hair. It’s an odd angle but the warmth is worth it.

I open my phone to see the time and it is heading toward 3pm. I flip it shut and pop it back in my pocket. I am adequately dry and I now have to force myself to go to his room.  I exit the washroom and head for the elevators.

I get out on the fifth floor. I am really nervous. My palms are sweaty and I don’t know what to expect with what I will find once I get there. There are two wings and I am not sure which he is on. I start with the North Wing and I nonchalantly walk past the nurse’s station. On the whiteboard is a list of patients and assigned room numbers. I do not see Christian’s so I backtrack to the fork and head for the South Wing.

I saunter into the wing as if I belonged there. I figure if I am quiet and shy and look out of place someone will eventually approach me and offer assistance. I don’t think that this is the best option so I enter and don’t make eye contact. It works! The nurses at the station are over-worked and too busy to pay me any attention. I manage to slink past the desk and see an entry for C. Grey  Rm: 515.

_It’s now or never… I still have time to back out and get back to the elevators…_

But I won’t.

I inhale a deep breath and make my way to room 515. Deep down I smirk because I feel like I am in Orwell’s 1984 and I am being lead to room 101…

I skirt past the other rooms and make it to 515. The door is ajar but I don’t hear any sounds from his room. I softly nudge the door open. My heart breaks when I see Christian in his bed and most of his body is bandaged and casted. I want to rush to him but my eyes fall upon another:  a young woman. A young woman snuggled in a chair beside his bed and she is holding his hand.

I drop my bag and the woman stirs. I don’t break eye contact so I pull the bag toward me as I back up. I turn and start to run but before I can go I hear her speak.

“Stop, please! Are you Ana?”

I immediately stop. I am intrigued that she knows my name and that she is not angry. She actually seems to be relieved. I hesitantly enter the room and she lets go of his hand and stands to greet me.

I find my voice. “I am. Ana, I mean.”

She has a lovely smile and it suits her pale skin and her short severe bob cut. She is wearing Doc Martens and tights with a crazy 80’s rock band t-shirt. It suits her. She seems young, possibly my age.

She notices me examining her and she laughs. “Don’t worry. I am Mia, Christian’s sister.”

I am instantly relieved but I still want to know how she knows my name. “How do you know my name?”

She blushes, “Christian told us, not in the direct way, but when he drifts in and out of sleep he calls out for you.”

I am both mortified and pleased.

“What we don’t know is _what_ you are to Christian.” Her eyes sparkle conspiratorially.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	23. Chapter 22

A.N.:  To Maria, who changed her life by jumping in with both feet…

Surprise!! Out with another chapter eventually! A mixture of work related stress, over-worked and understaffed at work during Christmas break, Christmas day hurricane winds knocking out power  and then another storm a week later knocking out power again, more work stress, lost my muse for a bit, got called to work  for two Sunday mornings this month to remote reboot servers... need I go on?

P.S.:  Cheers to wine-filled Saturdays (and Sundays!)The wine took this story to a place where I did not plan. But cést la vie!

**Chapter 22**

**Ana POV**

_“What we don’t know is what you are to Christian...”_

Her words took me by surprise. I’m relieved she is not his lover but my brain is still trying to wrap itself around him calling out my name during sleep. _How many others have heard him do this?_

“He’s called my name?” I whisper. My eyes once again drift to Christian's supine form.

Mia scuttles closer so we can carry on our conversation away from a sleeping Christian. “He’s called out a few times. Mom and I were beginning to wonder who this mysterious Ana is,” she teased.

This is not the way I wanted to meet his family. I fantasized that when this would happen when I am much older and graduated from high school. “Please tell me no one else heard.” I covered my face. I was slightly embarrassed by being caught out by Mia.

“Just mom and I, and probably some nurses. Mom seems even more curious than I am. She should be in to check on my brother soon. She’s a doctor here.”

I quietly walk over to Christian. Most of the left side of his body is wrapped in casts and his head is bandaged.  His eyes and face are swelled and I notice that he must have recently had an IV because his right hand had the tell-tale sticky residue from medical tape. My heart is breaking seeing him like this. I am trying so hard not to cry in front of Mia but the crap from these last few days come crashing around me. _The wondrous kiss, Kate getting drugged, Christian not showing up…_

It is too much to take in. Privacy is damned; tears escape and I don't care if Mia is here. My head is bowed and I tentatively run my hand across his lower leg. I feel a warm hand placed gently on my shoulder tugging me back gently. I obligingly take a step back. Mia turns me around and pulls me into a tight embrace. The floodgates open and I cry. I cry in the arms of a virtual stranger. I do not push her away. I pull her closer and sob into her hair.

Mia rubs my back softly. “Hey, he’ll be alright. I just know he will,” she affirms. I’m not fully confident in Mia’s promises, but I do find comfort in her arms and it dawns on me that I took comfort in Christian’s arms also. Must be a familial thing…

She just holds me and lets me cry.

 

**Christian POV**

I wake up and feel like I had a dream so wonderful that I didn’t almost want to wake. I feel happy and rejuvenated like I had the best sleep ever. The room is warm and I hear a gentle breeze tousle the papers on my desk.  I sling my arm over and stretch to blindly pick up my phone. I pull my eyes open and the phone lights up when I tap the screen.

I smile and look at the screen. The wallpaper is of my bride and me on our wedding day. I slide the screen and view the several email alerts displayed. A sweet voice bellows from downstairs.

“Time to get up, sleepyhead!” I can’t contain my cheesy grin and I stroke my knuckles on the scruff on my chin. The bed is disheveled and I see the evidence remaining of where she slept. I roll over and search for her pillow. The sheets are no longer warm with her heat, but her vanilla and honey scent lingers. I drag her pillow over my face and breathe it in. To this day I still can’t believe she agreed to marry me. I was a lucky son of a bitch when I found her and I will never understand what she sees in me, but I’ll never tempt fate again. 

I sit up and drag my feet up and over the bed. I plant my feet on the rug and squish my toes in its lushness. I convince myself that I should get up, but the thought of having a lie-in on a Sunday with my wife is much too tempting. Maybe I can persuade her…

I start to hoist myself up when a blurry toddler bounds and leaps toward me, knocking me backward onto the bed. I spin and cradle the little one to prevent hurting him. “Hey, Little Man!” I muss up his copper curls and pretend to push him away.

“Daddy, you’re so silly. Mommy says get up.” He tries to use his bossiest tone. “I heard her, Daddy!”  He squirms and tries to wriggle out of my hold. I snuggle him closer and tickle him with my whiskers. “Stop, Daddy!” He giggles as he tries to pull away again. I loosen my hold and he crawls up to the pillow and turns over to his back. He picks up my phone and starts pressing apps. He taps a game app I keep on my phone for him.

He gets quickly engrossed in the game. His little nose crinkles up into deep concentration; well as good as a five year old can concentrate. I push up beside him and rest my head on his chest. I feel his little heart beating. I tug his shirt up and blow raspberries on his tummy.  He uses one had to hold my phone and another to push me away. I pretend to be hurt but he determinedly goes back to his game.

I get up and head to the in suite bathroom. I see an older man in the mirror. I open the taps, splash water on my face and dry off. I get back to the bed and pick up Teddy and toss him over my shoulder. He manages to keep a hold of my phone as I trek downstairs.

A huge smile greets me as I enter the kitchen. Standing at the sink is my beautiful wife with our little Phoebe balanced on her hip. Phoebe tugs at her hair as she prepares breakfast.

“About time you got out of bed,” she admonishes, but her tone is light. Even in her cotton pyjama pants and my old university t-shirt she is still breathtaking after these past five years.  “Here, come take her from me. She misses you.”

I place Teddy at the table and he goes back to playing his game.  And never one to miss a chance at holding my daughter, I stroll over and place my hands out. Phoebe leans over and I catch her and scoop her up into my chest. She smells of baby powder and something sweet and sticky. I nibble into her neck and she fists tufts of my hair. “So, our little one will be two soon. What are we planning?” I say as I am walking a squealing Phoebe around the kitchen. 

“Oh, this and that. Nothing is solid at the moment,” she hedges.  She brings out plates and places the eggs and toast on them. I slide the highchair to the table and strap Phoebe in.  I kiss Teddy’s head as I walk past to help bring the breakfast to the table.

**X x X**

 

She rolls off me and falls onto her back. I’m waiting for my heart rate to slow. I turn to face her and she too, seems exhausted. “What you do to me,” I say catching my breath, “I’ll never get enough of you.”  I shift and turn her head to me. I run my nose down her neck and nip as I travel. She smells like vanilla and honey and sweat.

She takes my hand and kisses it and curls it into her chest. “Good,” she says simply. ”I hope you never will.” With that she throws her leg over my groin and cuddles in, presumably to instigate round two of incredible lovemaking…

**X x X**

Another morning of waking up with my beautiful wife. I roll over and expect to find her sleeping but her side is empty. I force my eyes open in the harshness of the bright morning. I hear Teddy playing in his room and Phoebe over the monitor happily babbling in her crib.

My fingers come across a folded note. I open the folds, squinting as I read the note:

_Have an early meeting today._

_Miss you already!_

_Always,_

_Your ‘E’._

 

**Ana POV**

“He is so still.” I run my hand up until I find his right hand. I gently place his hand back to his chest and adjust his covers. Mia comes closer and leans into me. It feels like I’ve known Mia for a long time, but our meeting was only happened about an hour ago. Like with Kate, I feel like I can tell Mia anything, and that we could perhaps be friends. _Or is it that because she is my age but poses no threat as she is Christian’s sister?_

“He’s in and out. Mom says that his brain has to stop swelling and that he will sleep for long periods of time.” She turns and wipes a tear, “I just miss him and I want him to wake up again.”

It’s my turn to embrace her and let her cry.

**X x X**

Mia is resting in the chair beside the bed and I decide to sneak out to the hall. Christian has not showed any recent signs of waking. The room has been a void of white noise, breathing, and tears. The busy din in the hallway seems almost comical were it not such a serious place to be.  My phone has been pinging alerts almost nonstop. I flip it open to see the tests:

_3:10pm_

_Call me tonight!_

_K._

 

_3:15pm_

_Waited but Kate said you left early._

_Is it because of me?_

_Text me back._

_José_

 

I notice that the time is almost five. I’d better call Ray to let him know I’ll be late and not to worry. Down the hall near the Nurse’s Station is a visitor room with couches, games, and other comforts. I duck in and grab a juice from the fridge. I see a door to a balcony, so I head over and step through. It’s a bit chilly outside, but the numbness of this pain lessens to the point where I know I am alive if I feel the wind’s bitter bite.

 _Perspective_.

It is all about perspective. A week ago I met a frustratingly handsome teacher whom, I will admit, I am totally and utterly besotted. _Who am I fooling? I am unequivocally in love with him._ Here we are today, in his hospital room getting comforted by his sister. This week has been a lifetime. I stay as long as I can before the chill forces me back inside, but I stay long enough to see the sky darken and the city lights twinkling.

I head back in and Mia finds me in the visitor lounge. She seems a bit more rested and looks like she wants to talk. I am not wrong…

She pulls us down in one of the couches and leans into me. “Ana, I think we can finally speak frankly.” She looks earnestly at me. “Christian has never shown interest in dating so you can see my surprise when he calls out to this ‘Ana’. Mom and I thought secretly that he was gay because he was single for so long, but you’re proof that he is definitely not!”

I’m not sure where Mia is going with this but I need some distraction and I’m actually relieved that I can share my secret with someone. Keeping secrets is an exhausting task. In no certain terms could I ever tell José or Kate, and even Ray. Having Mia know is easier because I guess I feel that she is impartial.

“I am so glad to have met you, but Ana, _who_ are you? I mean, I don’t want this to come out rude, but you are essentially the face to a name that we’ve only heard my brother speak in his sleep.”

Mia’s question throws me, but I could not expect to show up in his room and not have to declare myself. I go for the truth. “He, well, he is my English teacher,” I simply state and my held breath escapes.

Mia’s eyes grow round, but she is not judging. I truly surprised her. “Teacher… OK… Wow.” She puffs out a ‘whew’ and then becomes a bit nervous. “I am not sure how mom and dad will react to that, but wow…” her words trail off.

“I don’t know what to say. I probably shouldn’t say anything until Christian wakes.” Tears start to well. “I should go.” I jump up, throw my empty juice box in the recycle bin and head back to the room. I get a few steps into the room before I notice a beautiful and statuesque woman in a lab coat. There’s a stethoscope around her neck and a chart in her hand. She spins around at my noisy entrance and she startles before she sees Mia coming in behind me.

“Mia, who is this,” she asks as she looks at Mia and then shifts her gaze to me. She steps closer to Christian as if to protect him. _This must be his mother…_

“This is the mysterious Ana,” Mia beams but is she is wary of how her mother may react.

“The mysterious Ana! It is wonderful to finally put a face to the name. I am Grace, Christian’s mother.” She has a soft smile and bright eyes. “I am sorry to have to meet under these unfortunate circumstances.” She looks over to Christian sadly.

“Nice to meet you,” I say. _How long before she becomes disappointed knowing that I am his student…_

It’s getting awkward _. I should leave_. I know Christian is in good hands. I feel stupid; I should have known he’d obviously have visitors and not be alone. If he were my family I’d be here too.

I know Grace is sneaking secret glances at me. I look like a mess and I know that she must be speculating who I am to her son and probably how old I may be. My coat is almost dry but my sneakers are still wet. I know I can make a plausible excuse for leaving. “It’s about time I leave.” I grab my bag and head for the door but Grace’s soft plea stop me in my tracks.

“Stop, Ana, please.” Her beseeching eyes pulled deep in my soul. She is a fretting mother –who, although plays at being calm—cannot fully hide her worry over her son. An ache punches me in the stomach. It’s because she instantly reminds me of my mother; and a mother who was never a mother in the sense where a mother would ever care of my needs and my pain. Grace is the antithesis of my mother.

The thought angers me, but it steels my resolve to leave. I cannot stay longer.  I make the mistake of looking into her eyes; like a doe in the headlights, I cannot leave now.

**Christian POV**

“We’re almost there, just a few more steps.” I lead my son and wife to the snow –covered forest where I selected the tree that will accompany our Christmas.

“Christian, we’re freezing!” My lovely wife has Teddy in her arms so he’s out of the snow. I gently move her to the direction of the tree and pull her blind off. Gently flakes fall lazily around us. She looks at the tree in awe. Small and romantic things like this always choke her up.

She reaches around Teddy and pulls me in for a kiss. “Sweetheart, you never fail me. This has to be the best tree in this forest.” She sets Teddy down and he plops down. He dips his little mittens and tries to eat the snow.

We laugh at the startled look on Teddy’s face. He starts to fuss so I scoop him up and give him a kiss on his eyes. Content with that Teddy calms and learns a valuable lesson about snow. My little man needs only to experience something once to learn if it is good or bad. He wants back down. He thrusts his hand in the snow again, but anticipates the results. Apparently snow is yummy now.

I take the axe and saw out and fell the tree. It safely falls to the side. I take the twine and wrap the tree.

A moment later I am face first in the snow. I hear a peel of laughter and a giggle from my son.  I pull my face out of the snow and jump up. I see my mischievous wife start to run but the snow was too deep for her to gain a lead on me. I close in on her and tackle her. She is laughing. Her woolen hat skews to the side, so I pull it off and push snow in her face. Flakelets of snow cling to her lashes and her cheeks and nose are a reddening. She is beyond stunning. I push her down and give her the deepest kiss I can muster before the sounds of Teddy’s fussing pulls me from my bliss.

X x X

The presents are open and Teddy forewent his toys to play with the packaging. He gleefully pulls the crinkly wrapping and squishes it. Our little scientist is fascinated by the sounds it makes and that the paper unfolds when he lets go. He scrunches it again and lets it go. He claps his hands and seeks our approval. We cheer him on and he beams.

I crawl over to the tree to tidy the presents. One little boy got spoiled this year with the amount of presents that my family sent ahead. For a two year old, he made out like a bandit. All of that and he was happy to play with the wrapping.

An envelope falls from a branch and lands beside me. I look to my wife curiously and she nods. “Open it, sweetheart, it’s my present to you.”

I open the envelope. There is a black and yellow photo. It is an ultrasound. My jaw drops and I look to her. I am dumbfounded. “You’re pregnant?” It’s a stupid thing to say, but I can’t get my brain to work.

She nods and smiles. “Yes, about eight weeks now.” A tear falls and struggles to hold on.

I crawl over to her and hold her. I drop my head in her lap and she strokes my hair. “Christian, I was so afraid that you would not want another child so soon after Teddy…” she trails off.

I remember Teddy’s arrival. It was gut-wrenching. He was premature and both of their vitals were in distress. Her organs were shutting down and she was dying. An emergency Caesarean saved both of them. I died a thousand deaths that day. 

“Baby, we’ll just take it slow and take less risks. We’ll be more careful this time.” I know I can’t go through the pain again and I know she must be terrified. “But I am beyond happy. You never cease to amaze me. You are extraordinary in every way. I love you so much. I don’t deserve this happiness you bring me.”

**Ana POV**

“Christian is not out of the woods yet. His bones will mend, but he has cranial swelling. I am worried.” Grace is saying this as his mother—not his doctor. “Other patients who have had head injuries may develop changes later. Mood changes. Burst of uncontrollable anger. I don’t want that for him.”

She takes out a fabric ruler and measures his head, careful not to put pressure on it. She reads the measurement and jots it in the chart. “Down from yesterday. This is good news.” Grace’s relief resounds. I don’t have any idea about the medical ramifications of head swells, but if Grace is pleased, then I am too.

I forget that Mia is here in the room. “Ana, if you still want to leave, I can drive you home,” she whispers. She sees a subdued mood but does not want to ruin it.

This is my out. “I’ll accept if it does not put you out of your way.” The thought of taking buses during rush hour in the rain is not appealing. I pick up my bag as Mia gets ready. I look at Grace’s disappointment, but I am not ready to tell her everything. She is in a pain I can’t imagine. She’s a mother with a seriously injured son. I can’t in good conscience tell her what she desperately wants to know.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 23

A/N:  So sorry this is later than I wanted; CH23 original was corrupted and could not be recovered. Darn. Fun times starting it all over. To Maria, all I can say is that the pain goes away eventually…

I appreciate folks keeping to read this. I know my mercurial moods can complicate things!

 (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

**CH 23**

**Ana POV**

“If it’s no bother, then I would really appreciate a lift home or to the bus terminal so I can get home from there,” I say as I fish my phone from my pocket.

“Don’t be silly, Ana,” Mia says as she collects her things. “It’s only right that I get you home okay.” She walks over to Grace and starts her goodbyes.

“I need to call Ra— my dad,” I say as I point my phone toward the hallway. I head out to find a quiet spot among the beeps and hum of the electrical throughout the hospital. The visitor’s lounge proved quieter earlier so I head back that way.

I power my phone on and call Ray.

“Annie? I was worried. You’re normally home from school by now!” 

“Sorry Dad, I should have called you. I’m at the hospital”—and before I catch what I said too late Ray started to go into protective dad mode. “Whoa! Dad, I’m only visiting a friend!” I rattle the words out so quickly so that he calms down.

“Annie, you’re gonna give an old man a heart attack!” he says. Ray is generally subdued, but I notice when it comes to me I can see his emotions more clearly.

“Don’t worry, Dad, I’m heading home in a bit. I just wanted to let you know I’m okay.” I see Mia coming down the hall toward me. “Did you need anything while I’m out?”  I try for reassurance with a normal conversation after the long day that this has been.

I hang up with Ray as Mia stood patiently. She had her book bag on her shoulder and her little Hello Kitty plush purse gripped between her fingers. The thought dawns to me and I think about how long she has had to deal with Christian’s accident. I have only just found out, but for her family this must be the third day of the emotional rollercoaster.  The highs and lows and the twists and turns. _This ultimate ride that no one ever wants to be on._

We head toward the elevators and as we near Christian’s room Grace appears at the entrance. She is a classically beautiful woman whose features are diluted with stress and concern over her son. “Are you sure you need to leave?” she says. “It is a great comfort for me having everyone here with him.”

“Ana…”

I am about to answer Grace when we hear Christian speak. I turn my head and witness him first hand calling out to me like Mia said. I am welling up with joy and my feet break free and head toward him before I can register that I am moving. As I get closer I see that his eyes are still closed but his eyelids are fluttering.  The machines recording his vitals are increasing and beeping.

I feel, rather than see, Mia and Grace come up silently beside me. Grace takes his hand and kisses it. “Sweetheart? Are you coming back with us again?” she says softly.

It’s in those simple words that I see her deep love for Christian. I am in awe of this affection. Times when I fall into the trap of remembering all the crappy times with my mother and Steve, I always have Ray and his quiet, but strong love for me.

“Christian, we’re here. Mom, me, and Ana’s here too.” Mia is smiling and trying hard not to lose her composure. Mia takes my hand and pulls me even closer to the bed.

Christian’s eyes slowly open. The room is dim and I know that it would be a bad idea to brighten the room. “Mom?” He pushes up to lean forward and Grace grabbed the bed controls to lift his back. Mia tugs the pillow and as Christian leans a bit forward, fluffs it, and puts it back behind him. His eyes are squinting and he looks around until he finds mine.

“Ana, you’re here—” He says, but his voice is raspy. Mia instinctively grabs a glass of water and carefully places it in his hand.

“Hi… um… how was your day…” Stupid, fat tears are rolling down my cheeks and the only thing I can think to say is _how was your day?_

I hear the soft chuckling of Grace and Mia and my mortification wanes. He smiles up at me (and I still can’t believe that I am here in his hospital room and he wants to see me) and lifts his other hand. “Hey,” he says incredibly sweetly. I take his hand and he tugs me so close that I almost fall on him. “My day? My day has just become exponentially better, Ana.”

He laughs, but it sounds pained and more like a sputter. He shakily brings the class to his chapping lips and takes a small sip. He settles back into his pillows and I take the glass and set it aside. He looks so tired and I know he should sleep more. Grace doesn’t appear to speak as a doctor, totally opposite; as his mother she is glad to have him awake and well aware of where he is.  

“Christian, will you tell more who this lovely girls is? Mia has had the pleasure of introducing Ana, but I’d like to hear from you,” Grace winked to me as she adjusted his covers.

“Speaking of Ana, mother, may she and I have some privacy?”

Grace nods and gently tugs a protesting Mia alongside her. “My family can be impossible at times,” he says, and then looks into my eyes, “Ana, I have so many things I want to say and I hope to say them all to you before I get too sleepy again.” He looks to the doorway and I see Grace and Mia in the hallway.

“Should I close it?”

“Ana, I want to start by telling you that it is incredible to see you. I have missed you—”

“And I you,” I interrupt. _Now is the moment. Cards are on the table and they need to be picked up. We have to organize our hand and make our play._

“I don’t remember much after the accident, but I do remember bits from Friday. Tell me, did I dream kissing you? Did I dream holding you tight and you holding me even tighter? Please tell me; I’m dying here!”

“You weren’t dreaming, Christian, that did happen.” I can’t keep the blush from my cheeks. My eyes close and I recall vividly his scent, his firm chest against mine, his powerful hands about my waist and when they slid slowly up my back and neck. Every second of that night has been burned into my memory.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Thank you. I know that it’s a stupid thing to say, but truly, thank you.”

“Thank you? For what?”  I am getting a bit lost and am not following his thoughts.

“Thank you for not… running.”

 _I can’t run…_ “Christian, you’re not making much sense.”

“Sorry, my headache is blinding and this pain really friggin’ hurts. I’m just going to say it. Listen; time is precious—but it won’t last. I want to be with you. And I need to know if you can be with me too.”

“I’m so, so sorry! I feel so foolish. You were just in a serious accident and here I am not asking you how you feel-” I go to the door and close it. I go back and sit on the foot of the bed.

“Just please answer the damn question!” He tries for a laugh, but the tension in this room is palpable.

“Christian, I showed you how I feel about you on Friday. I can’t run, but— _here is where I have to face the possibility_ — I don’t see any rational way that we can be together. There are things that we simply can’t control. I’m sorry; I really don’t know what to do.” _He’s lying in pain and I want to punch myself for saying this to him._ “It comes down to the glaring fact that you are my teacher and I think I am too young.”

“Please, don’t say that, please. You’re killing me…” He shakes his head slowly and he wills what I say to be untrue. He tries to lift his hands but they won’t move. He jerks his head to the side away from me.

I get up and walk to the other side of the bed. I tug his chin and force him to keep eye contact with me. “Do you not think that I have dreamed of our kiss every night? At every bloody waking moment? Do you not think that ever since I met you and saw your controlling ways in class that I did not feel your draw? Do you think that I don’t know that it’s ruined for me? Do you not think that when you didn’t arrive on Monday that I didn’t feel the sheer terror that you just discarded me? Did you ever think that when you woke to fine me here with you that I would have the sheer terror of you would refuse me? Did you think that it would not be this hard?”

“Ana, where is this all coming from? A few minutes ago you were glad to see me and now you are denying this? Denying us?”

“Christian, I must be living in a fantasy where we can be together.” My voice quivered at the end.

“You’re wrong, that is, you’re wrong about me being your teacher.”He barks out a tiny laugh. “Well almost. I was supposed to file paperwork for my resignation on Monday, but I was rudely interrupted by the accident.”

“You were going to resign? For us? Are you nuts?” I wipe the last of the tears off my cheeks. “Don’t leave teaching for me. I couldn’t withstand the guilt of you leaving your job.”

“Listen, Ana, I literally have no choice. What I need to tell you is that after I walked you to the cab on Friday, John Flynn was there and witnessed our conversation in the cloakroom. He has no option but to report my behaviour to the school board, but he will stall for two weeks to give me plenty of time to remove myself from teaching. And no, teaching is not my life. It was Grace’s love of teaching not mine; I will be better off following my true passion for business.”

I close my eyes and rewind and fast-forward through Friday’s events in my memory wondering what Flynn could have seen. _The kiss, the wall, the embrace…_ It all lead back to our meeting in his office and now I understand why he singled me out and invited me to his office. I am too tired from the adrenaline rush to care what he would have seen.

“Ana, say something.” I didn’t realize that my silence was noticeable.

 _Could there really be a chance?_ I don’t want to seem like a teenager in a clichéd romance movie, but I think I need to hear him out. “I am not sure what to say. You just stated that you want to be with me, but what about what your family will think and say when they discover who I am?”

“These are unchartered waters for me too, Ana, but I know we can be strong enough to overcome this.” I see the earnestness in his eyes and the determination that he believes his words to be true.

“This day has been so overwhelming, Christian; please let me think on this. I need time.” My blue eyes stare into his gray; he then pulls me closer and pulls his mouth to mine. His kiss is so urgent. He plunders my lips like a thief, and my traitorous mouth opens and accepts his kiss. My mind had no time to react and my mouth took its place. I lean in closer, my fists clutching his gown. I need him like I need my next breath.

He slowed his kiss and nipped my lip. He tilted my head and ran his nose along my neck and to my ear. I felt his warm breath tickle but I was frozen. It wasn’t fear holding me there; it was the familiarity and the sensuality of the moment. “You smell like always. You are vanilla and honey to me.” He smiles, “I won’t hazard a guess to how I smell right now !”

“I can forgive you,” I snort.

“Ana, I’ve dreamt of you. All I’ve done since I arrived here was sleep. It was incredible and we, we had two incredible—“

“Daddy!” The door burst open and a streak of red flew by me and pounced on the bed.

I note the look of shock on Christian’s face as he looks at the look on mine. A green dinosaur falls from little hands and the little one places his head on Christian’s chest.

“What is going on?” the visitor says, and I recognize it’s the woman and Callum from the bus stop earlier. Behind her Grace and Mia followed. Mia and Grace exchange looks. I see the accusation and bewilderment in their eyes. It matches mine. “Callum, get off that man. Now!”

Callum pulls his face away and the realization dawns on him that he is not with his dad. He pushes back and squirms away and crawls up into his mother’s waiting arms. “I am terribly sorry everyone. We are obviously in the wrong room. He gets so excited to see his father that he doesn’t read the room numbers.” She glanced around and realized the thick tension in the room.

The three of us have our eyes locked on Christian as he stares at the boy in wonderment. My heart is breaking and everything Christian just promised about wanting to be with me disintegrates. He promises meant nothing. I start backing up and tears are falling. _Useless…_

Mia picks up the dinosaur and passes it to a shy Callum. He turns and his eyes light up in recognition, “Hi again, Lady!”

Heads turn to me now expectant for an answer. “Hi Callum,” I say sadly, and turn to Grace and Mia. “I had the pleasure of meeting young Mr. Callum and his mom earlier when I waited for the bus.” I was forcing a smile amidst my broken heart.

“I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Jazmin.” She pulled Callum closer and pulled her bag higher. “I am so sorry to barge in and interrupt, but my husband is in the next room and we should get going. This little man can’t stay up too late.” She smiled apologetically and then went to the hall.

Christian broke his gaze away from Callum and his eyes were beseeching. “Ana, please. I know what you must be thinking. This is a mistake. I do not know them. Please stop. Don’t go.”His voice broke on every word.

“Mia, can we leave now, my dad is waiting.” I cannot look Christian or Grace in the eyes.

Mia grabs her things and mumbles a sorry to them as we leave. “I’ll come back later, guys.”

As we pass the room next door I stop and stare. I feel like I am an interloper into someone else’s life but I can’t help myself; I need validation. On the bed I see an injured man. Jazmin is in the chair beside him stroking his hand and Callum is cradled on his father’s chest. _Christian was telling the truth._

Mia looked at me in understanding. She must have felt too that Christian had a child, but earlier she said she thought Christian was gay. She was not judgemental but she probably felt the sting of intruding on their personal time. “Do you want to go back?” she says.

“I can’t, Mia, not now. I made the biggest fool of myself and I can’t face them now.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25 (REDUX)

A/N: My apologies for the late submission. I enjoyed my first real vacation in three years! Also, thanks to the readers who ‘poked’ me to get back to writing. (Maria and Abbybaby) LOL  
Chapter 25

Ana POV

“There you are!” Kate exclaimed. She barged into my class and tossed her bag on my desk. “I thought that I would hear from you sooner than later!” She opens her phone and reads ‘Too late to talk. See you tomorrow.’ She looks at the faces turned toward her and then she glares. “What the hell is up with that?”

“Sorry, Kate—” I really didn’t have an excuse. To be honest, I had no idea what to say to her. I looked around at the startled faces in the room. Many quickly lost interest of Kate’s interruption and went back to their business. I knew this morning that I could not avoid her forever—let alone at school today, but it was worth a try.

“José and I were really worried. You just bolted without saying a word.” She took the empty seat next to me. “What is going on? Please tell me.”

I was about to respond before a loud ahem silenced the classroom. 

“Everyone, class is about to begin,” a teacher I didn’t recognize called as she entered the room. Kate jumped up and grabbed her bag. 

“Tell me at lunch,” she hissed. Kate was a mixture of anger and hurt, but I couldn’t tell which was more predominant. The door closes as Kate exits and the teacher turns back to the class. 

“I am here to tell you all that there will be no class with Mr. Gray for the unforeseeable future. I do not have all the details, but I have been instructed to tell you that he was involved in a car accident. So I will be your interim substitute teacher.” She takes the marker from the whiteboard and writes her name. “I am Ms. Greene.”

The class erupted in a sea of cries. Many were dumbfounded and many of the girls cried. Hearing it from another person didn’t lessen my pain of already knowing it happened. I glance over to Lily and I see tears forming and someone hugging her. I am glad no one is looking at me. They would see that there is neither shock nor confusion on my face. That I already know.   
Amid all this commotion I failed to see Jack enter the classroom until he leaned over and breathed in my ear. “Fancy seeing you here,” he whispers. His nose butts my ear and I swear he kissed me.

Chills run to my neck but it is not from pleasure. That voice is so familiar, especially since I am not looking at the speaker. Why is this so familiar…

“You too, Jack. Why wouldn’t I be here? It’s Wednesday. We have class together.” Confusion broils with frustration. I have not seen much of him since the pathetic date we had a week before. (It was only a week ago? Wow…) 

“Oh, you know why. Just hedged my bets that you would not show today are all.”

His encrypted remarks did nothing to quell my patience. “Well surprise, as here I sit.”

Christian POV

“Wakey, wakey my darling!” 

A cool breeze flitters over my face. My hopes are dashed when my brain deciphers the voice is not Ana’s. This voice is cold and will never be warm as hers. I slowly open my eyes and turn to see Elena, who is leaning quite precariously over the bedrail and looks like she can topple over any moment. She must see the disappointment in my eyes as her cold exterior chipped a little.

“No, now, don’t give me that look. I’m here to keep you company,” she says as she starts fussing with my blankets. The sunlight creeps through the windows and the city has a golden glow. I guess it is early morning. Elena is elegantly dressed and I wonder how early she has to get up to look so well put together. 

“Visiting hours is not until later, but dropping Grace’s name to the nurse’s seems to get me in places here.” She pulls the chair close and flicks imaginary dust off it. She delicately sits and places her handbag on her lap. 

“What brings you here? I mean I’m glad you did, but I am curious,” I hope that she ignores my lie.

She doesn’t. 

‘Oh Christian, don’t be so coy. We both knew that we would eventually have this conversation, so much sooner than later.” She kicks one long heeled leg over the other and shifts in her seat. “You, my love, YOU bring me here today.” 

I have no idea what she is going on about. But there is a slow realization building that I may have a modicum of understanding. My head aches and I could only hope that the nurse’s bring my pain relief soon. I see the industrial sized white clock in the hallway near the nurse’s station. It is almost 8:00am and that means meds and a check in from the staff. 

“Late last night I spoke to your mother. She seemed to have needed a shoulder to lean on. One of her flaws is that she gets chatty when she’s upset by her children. It seems I missed a great opportunity to see the drama unfold yesterday. Ana crashing in on a visit, and then a child and a woman who were evidentially in the wrong room. What I would have paid to have seen all of that.”

I know Elena well enough to know that this insufferable build-up is leading to something wholly unkind and borderline heartless. “Leave Ana out of this.” I steel my voice in a vague threat. The machine beside me starts beeping erratically and the numbers are jumping. 

She smiles languidly, knowing that we are both responding to the machine. “I’m glad I have such an effect on you, although you were always quick and responsive to my…affections.” She stands and leans in. She grabs my right hand, the only thing not immobile on my body. She crushes her lips to mine.

I am assailed with the scent of bergamot and lavender. It is cloying and I have the urgent need to retch. I am a prisoner in my body. Elena knows this and uses it to her advantage. I resist as much as I can by forcing my head to the side, but I could not find the alarm as I did not see Elena move the alert button further away from my reach. My mind and body are screaming in protestation. Her claws hold me fast. She slows her kisses until she reaches each eye lid and blows softly against them. 

“Now that I have your complete and otherwise undivided attention, I will give you some advice: drop this asinine desire of a relationship with that silly girl; she’s beneath you and you deserve better. Oh baby, you do remember enjoying it so much more when I was beneath you, don’t you?” She smirks at her own double entendre, “Wait, silly me, it’s not so much advice I have as it is more of an ultimatum: If you do not stop this infuriating obsession with that—that girl, I will have to share some lovely photos of us. I really don’t think you want your mother and Ana to see those, do you?” She straightens her suit jacket and then my gown. From her purse she fishes out an envelope. She pulls out glossy 4” X 6” photos. She holds one out each at a time and makes sure I can see each one. Every photo is of me blindfolded and tied with silk scarves. One of me bound with a ball-gag in my mouth and a leather blindfold. The last is of her and I done as some sort of sick selfie bed shot with her head on my shoulder and the blind still over my eyes. She puts the photos away and replaces them with her makeup mirror. She reapplies her lipstick and plants a new kiss on top of the already lipstick smears on my lips.

“Why? Why are you doing this? Why now? What we were had been ages ago and I thought we were over that and are good friends now.” I try pleading with her, but I know that there is more in this game. Elena has not shown all her cards, and I know that there must be an ace hidden up her sleeve. The other shoe has not dropped. “This just doesn’t make any sense. Why can’t you just let me be happy?” Real tears escape and I smear these into the lipstick already burrowed into my lips. 

“Why now? Really? Do you even hear yourself? You will always be mine, but you just won’t accept it yet…” Elena takes a deep breath and calms herself. “You should be thankful,” Elena spits, “and from what I hear, Ana left you and I am here to stop her from her breaking your heart even further.”

“Thankful?” I shout. “Here I am trapped in this bed, being blackmailed with photos, being assaulted, and then being told that it is for my own good?” I’m hoping a litany of shouting and curses will draw the attention of the nurses outside. “Answer me you crazy bitch!” I scream and thrash until I go hoarse.

Elena slaps my face and I immediately stop. “Listen up, my darling, and listen well: you will stop this fascination with the girl and you will come to me in time. I already have Ana in hand and she will be dealt with. But, you don’t need to worry yourself over that. She will be fine, I guess. Only until they get word from me. It all really depends on what you say and do.”

“What have you done? Tell me! Please leave Ana out if it.” I have to speak with Ana. I need to make sure she is alright. I am not sure if Elena is being dramatic or if her threats are real. “What’s to stop me from calling the police?” I threaten. It is feeble and I know the argument is lost. We both know that I can’t afford to have those pictures go public and not come out unscathed. Also the threat on Ana is vague enough that the police would not take it seriously without a direct threat.

“You won’t call the police, nor will you have the balls to confess the evidence of our affair.” She stands and collects her handbag. “You just be a good boy and keep doing what you are doing to get better.” She leans in and grabs my face. “I will see you soon. Oh, and before I forget, you can keep the fifty thousand I loaned you. Today was worth every penny, my love.”

Finally a nurse enters as the clacking sounds of Elena’s shoes fades. “Good morning Mr. Gray,” Savana greets me with a tray of medication. “We heard shouting, but Ms. Elena advised us to ignore it.” She pours water into the cup. “Yelling seems to be a norm in this room, Mr. Gray” she laughs.

Her laughing abruptly stops as she looks closer at me. She sees the smeared lipstick and the wetness in my eyes. “My Gray, are you alright? Should I get the doctor?” She looks worried. “I’m sorry I laughed earlier. It was very unprofessional of me.” 

Elena has become unglued and Ana is in her clutches. I am powerless to help and even worse, Ana has no idea what is happening. Even if Ana never comes back to me I can’t leave her to be at the mercy of Elena. Elena and who else… Who can she have at her beck and call? Think Gray, Think… who can help. 

Mom always said that secrets unshared can be held over you and can turn ugly. She said that you can have the secret own you and make you cower in fear or you can own up and eat the shame and the fear. You own the fear by speaking it aloud and by doing so; make it a secret no more.

I know now what I have to do; if Elena is threatening to tell others, I will just have to confess first. I refuse to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop.

“Please get Dr. Grace for me.” 

Ana POV

“Ana, care to tell us why you bailed yesterday?” Kate is irate and sad rolled into one. “You are my sister and I feel you are keeping secrets from me.”

“You had me worried too,” José says as he peels the wrapper from his sandwich. I note his concern and I know it’s sincere, but things are still somewhat awkward from Friday. 

“Guys, I’m ok, I really am. I’m sorry that you were worried.” I hope that placates them for now. 

An arm drapes around my shoulder and Jack chimes in, “Yes Ana, and do tell us where were you yesterday.”

José and Kate exchange confused looks. 

“I had an emergency. I can’t say yet, but Kate, please, give me some time and I will tell you. You are my sister. Just trust me.”

“Jack why are you here? I’m surprised you are here considering you tried to kiss Ana a week ago.” Kate spurts. José blanches. I feel the momentary sting of feeling like I betrayed Jack’s confidence until I realized we had no agreement. “She shot you down hard, Jack.”

“Just go, Jack,” José and I say in unison. 

Jack raises his hands in supplication, “Fine, I’ll go, but I will see you later Ana.”

“What was that all about? Is it me or is Jack getting creepier?” José says as jack strolls away. 

“José, can Ana and I have some privacy? I promise you can meet us later,” Kate uses her secret puppy dog eyes weapon. 

He gets up and packs his bag, “Sure guys, I’ll be around.”

“Now that it’s only us, spill.” 

Kate is focused and it’s futile to deflect her. I am so close to telling her everything, but I am holding on to the vestiges of my sanity. “Kate, I promise I will tell you everything.” I look into her eyes expecting them to have tears, but all I see are worn and tired eyes. “You look tired, are you sleeping?” I assume it is from her drugging at the bar, but she seemed to have bounced back a bit from that. 

“No, I’m not sleeping. It’s Elliot. I thought things were going great with him, but he is not responding to my texts. Oddly enough he sent a series of drunk texts last night and now won’t even explain them. I was up all night crying.” She opens her phone to me and scrolls through the texts.

you look older8 i don’t beelive him  
Elliot

When wer u gona tellme  
Elliot

tou are a chhile. i cant seeu again  
Elliot

Mybro ther says yu are hisst udent. Goodbye  
Elliot

I embrace Kate as tears well and slip and fall. “Nothing. He won’t explain anything and this only started last night.”

“I don’t know what to say to make it all better. I can offer to kill him for you if we can find him,” I joke.

Kate shorts through her tears. “No, I like him too much to let you go all Rambo on him.”

“True, but let’s dissect these tests: Who is his brother? How old is Elliot if he thinks you are too young?”

“I don’t know,” she sniffles, “Obviously I know Elliot is older than us, but I was guessing that he was mid twenties. Now I don’t know.”

“Who is his meddling brother? Maybe I need to go all Rambo on him instead,” I challenge.

“Elliot’s brother was at the bar on Friday night, but he left before he could introduce us. He said his brother is very uptight and needs to get the stick out of his ass,” Kate snorts. I think she is starting to take her own advice and talk it out. 

Something dawns on me. Something way too coincidental. I think I know what it is. “Kate, what is Elliot’s last name?” With those two canoodling at the bar his last name didn’t come up in conversation.

“Grayyyyyyy oh my God,” Kate stops and the look in her eyes is almost comical. “No, oh god, it only makes sense. Elliot’s brother is Mr. Gray.”


	26. Chapter 24

 

 

A/N:  So sorry for the long time between this chapter. I know some readers reached out to me and that is so very thoughtful. I had a bad flu and cough for three weeks (twice!) and on top of that I fell into the sucky pit for a couple of months. I’m feeling pretty good now. **You are all the best!** **J**

****drops the chapter in the bin and slinks back into the shadows…****

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CH24

**Christian POV**

“You never really did answer my question earlier,” Grace says as she leans back in her chair and rubs her neck. She looks exhausted and the earlier drama seems to have added to her stress. Locks of her dark brown hair escapes its bun and curls around her cheek.

“Which question was that?” I am surprised after the drama of the strange woman and her kid showing up and freaking Ana out enough to make her run that this is the first question she asks me when we’re now alone. “I thought you’d be more curious about our recent guests.”

“Nice try, sweetie, but no, after the shock of thinking you had a love child; the look in the little one’s eyes told me all I needed to know.”

“Are you going to tell me who Ana is and how serious is it between you. Now before you get up in arms I mean you no judgements; I just want to know. Ana seems like a sweet girl, albeit maybe a bit young.”

“Aren’t _I_ a bit too old to have this conversation with you?” I hedge. I smirk and try to laugh off her comment, but she keeps her gaze.

“Don’t get me wrong; I am so glad you may have found someone. You have been alone so long and at your age I hoped that you would have settled down by now, maybe having a family.”

I looked at her far away gaze and for a split second remembered my recent dream. I had a wife and two children. Waking up to reality was a punch to my gut and I felt my alternate life was ripped from me. Another image seeps into my mind, one much darker-but based in true reality is of me, wrists and eyes bound tight with silk scarves. _This is when I thought I was not alone…_ I mentally cringe and draw a breath. “I thought you weren’t a traditionalist, Mother. Women do not have to marry and have children in today’s day and age.”

Grace was affronted. “It’s not traditionalism; it’s always what a mother wants from her child – to be happy and to find his other half. And if this means starting a family, then be it.” She laughs and I see her teasing smile.

I try to sway focus. “What about Elliot? What are your grand designs for his love life?” I know it’s a shot in the dark, but this will not distract her.

“You know as well as I do that your older brother has too many wild oats to sow before he is mature enough to settle down. Between you and me—and I will deny this if you ever tell him— Elliot is still a big kid and needs to gain more responsibility. Maybe he should start with a puppy.” Grace chuckles at her own joke. “As for Mia I want her to finish university before getting too serious with anyone.”

I know I can’t shake her off this conversation. Maybe it is the meds or maybe it’s the fatigue. I relent. “I’m extremely tired, but I know you are not going to stop with this questioning. Just please keep an open mind.” I take a deep breath. “Okay, Ana is a student at my school. She’s one of my students.” I see Grace’s startled look.  “This – this right here is why I didn’t want to have this conversation now. I would have told you eventually, but the time is not right.” An ugly half-hearted laugh escapes. “You’ve seen Ana. She bolted out of here. I asked her to be with me but I feel she doesn’t trust me and there are things in the way.”  I throw by back against my pillow. I feel like a kid having a tantrum. “I barely just got her and I think I lost her, Mom.”

“I don’t know what to say to you, son. This whole day seems to have caught us both my surprise. We will talk more about this later so I’ll leave you to your thoughts. I am so sorry that I’m meddling but I can’t just help being your mom. You know I love you and worry about you, no matter how old you are.” She leans in and pulls my hand away from my chest. “But I don’t think you lost Ana, honey. I saw how she looked at you. Even when she ran I saw her heart. I know she’ll come around.” Grace stands and gives me a kiss on my forehead and quietly leaves the room, gently closing the door behind her.

 

**Ana POV**

“Are you really sure you don’t want to go back?” Mia says sadly. “I know I already asked you, but I really think we should.”

“Christian must think that I am the biggest fool, Mia. We’ve only met but I feel that I can say things to you honestly. Your brother asked me to be with him and at first I said that there was no chance because of his job. He plans to give teaching up for me and I don’t want that load to be mine. Then that woman and her son came and in one split second I disbelieved everything he said.” Tears stung as I continued. “Where can this possibly go if I can’t trust him? I know nothing about him and him me, but still he insisted that he wants me.”

Mia takes her right hand from the wheel and grasps mine. “From what I know of my brother –which I don’t think is very much – is that he sounds determined, and if he is, he will try everything to change your mind. Lord knows, I’ve been duped into doing his chores many times,” she laughs. “Just sleep on it and keep an open mind. Please, for me. And if not for me, then do it for him.”

Mia insisted in dropping me off at my door, which in hindsight was good because I told Ray I was leaving soon but was delayed. I hang my coat up to dry as much as it can and drop my book bag to the floor.  Ray seemed very glad to see me and held supper for me. I didn’t really realize how hungry I was until I smelled the curried beans. It’s been a long day and as I wolfed down my supper Ray watched me silently from the far side of the kitchen.

“Your friend, I trust she is getting better?”  Ray asks as he turns the taps to start washing the dishes.

“He is.” I manage to keep the concern out of my voice. His eyebrows lift for a mere second. Ray always sees more that I want him to see and I am not ready to share my broken heart with him. I bring my dishes to the sink and drop them in the soapy water. I grab a dish towel and grab the plate. There is companionable silence as he washes and I dry.

I give a very surprised Ray a quick hug before I head up to my room. Most of my clothes are still slightly damp so I peel them off and head for the shower. I catch a glimpse of my limp and stringy hair and big eyes. I see my old scars and I grimace. _Even I don’t like to be reminded of them…_

The shower brings welcome relief as the scalding water washes over me. There is a slight sting to my reddened skin and I really should add more cold but I can’t. I slide to the tub floor and curl up in a ball. Time runs slowly as the spray eventually turns cold.

I drag my weary and body from the shower, put pyjamas on, pull the covers back and climb into bed. My once silent clock is shouting its time at me like it knows that this is a late night for me. Until today I never knew the true meaning of bone-tired. Crying in the shower did not expel the hurt and the frustration of today. I feel as if I can’t move my limbs but I manage to reach to the nightstand and grab my cell, ignoring the red blare of the digital clock. I skim over the messages, partially because I was too tired to respond to them all, just that there were too many to read. I send one to Kate:

_Too late to talk._

_See you tomorrow._

_Ana_

 

**Christian POV**

“Bro, are you awake?” I feel a nudge on my arm (luckily my undamaged one) and a tweak on my toes. I open my eyes and see Elliot and Mia standing beside me.

“I am now.” I press the button and my back rest lifts. “What time is it?”

Mia moves the wheeled table and comes closer. “A bit after eight. I said I’d be back, remember?”

The first thing I want to know is what happened after Mia and Ana left. I don’t think that this is a conversation to have in front of Elliot. Mia, sensing that this is what I want distracts him.

“Elliot, I think I forgot my purse in my car. Can you get it for me?” She employs her no-fail puppy dog eyes and cutesy tone. No one is immune to her tactics. I’d witnessed Kate last year pull this ploy too. When it comes to Mia, she gives even Kate a run for her money. “I really, really need it.” She tosses him her keys and has a look of victory on her face.

We watch a defeated and mumbling Elliot leave and Mia jumps at the foot of the bed.

“Now that Elliot is distracted, spill.” Mia tosses her things beside the chair and hops on the foot of the bed. She reminds me of her cat who always seems to be claiming spots around the house.

“I don’t know if I should say, really; I shouldn’t spill my new BFF’s secrets,” Mia says teasingly.

“Mia, please. Any other day and that would be a cute game and I would willingly play. But not today.” My terse tone surprises us both. Mia’s face drops and I am instantly regretful. “I’m sorry Mia, but please tell me.”

“The drive was not very long, but what I gathered from our brief conversation is that she feels incredibly humiliated. Like, I mean really, really humiliated. She also feels guilt for not trusting your words and lastly she said that she does not want to be the reason for you leaving your job. ” Mia smoothes the blanket over my feet and shifts into a more comfortable position, “So what are you gonna do to fix this?”

 _Can I fix this?_   “No, no, no she can’t… Teaching? I’ve wanted to leave that for a while.” I look deep into Mia’s eyes, but I know that it is not Mia I have to convince. I need Ana. “She has to come back we can talk this out. I can’t do a damn thing from this bed.”

“So how to you propose to convince an insecure eighteen year old girl to overcome the crippling effects of humiliation and swallow her deep insecurities to come back to you?” she says softly.

I digest her words and it surprises me that Mia, being about the same age as Ana can have such in-depth thoughts and insights into others, especially where pain and heartbreak reside. _My baby sister is growing up…_ “In a nutshell: I haven’t the foggiest. I can say that I need you to be my eyes and ears while I’m in here.”

We’re interrupted by Elliot as he rushes in the door. “Mia, I can’t find your purse anywhere in your car,” he says as he throws himself in the chair and plops his feet on the bed rails.

“Oh, silly me. I didn’t bring it today,” she points at the floor beside the chair. “Just my bag.” Mia catches my eye and winks. “Sorry Elliot.”

Elliot waves it off. “Mom is looking for you. I spoke to her on the way up here. She’s in her office.”

“Duty calls,” she says as she slides off the bed and grabs her things. She comes back and lightly punches my shoulder. “Be good and I will see you tomorrow.”

Elliot snags her vacated spot on the bed as Mia leaves. He pulls something from his coat pocket. It looks like an MP3 player and ear buds. He leans over and tosses them on the wheeled table. “Bro, really, how are you feeling? Don’t lie to me.” He looks uncomfortable and that he wants to say his peace. _Step in line…_ He fidgets with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

“Just spit it out Elliot. What is bothering you?” I am just about fed up with this day. The end fiasco with Ana’s visit, my mother’s intruding, and now Elliot on top of my headache is almost too much. “I feel like I am to blame for your accident. I need your forgiveness.”

 I’ve never seen the look of guilt and pain from his eyes before. This is new and a bit unnerving. Elliot usually has his plans on top of more plans and nothing seems to get him down. “I already told you that you are not to blame. What on earth makes you think that? Jesus, man, it’s not like you were driving the truck.” I lay back and try to shift into a better position, but the casts are burning and itching me. “And don’t say that it’s your fault because we had plans to go out that day. That’s just ridiculous. It is what it is and I don’t want to hear you blame yourself again.” I’ve lost all patience with his pity party. “Just drop it Elliot. You are not to blame. End. Of.” I press the alarm to signal the nurse. My headache is beyond intolerable and escaping this day with painkillers seems to be what the doctor ordered.

“But – ” Elliot tries to finish but I interrupt.

“If you want to feel bad – and some unfathomable reason you seem to want to – feel bad that the lovely young lady you desire is eighteen and is my student.” I could not stop myself and the look on his eyes went from confusion to hurt to anger. _I am an asshole._ I immediately regret what I said. “Oh Elliot, my god. Forgive me, please. I am so sorry. I never meant to tell you like this _.” If I could move my legs to kick myself in the ass I would._

Elliot jumps off the bed and pulls at his hair. “Tell me like _this_? What the fuck… Is there any other way to tell me this?” He is nearly shouting and I know the nurse will be in soon. “Were you ever gonna tell me?”

“Calm down, the nurse and maybe Mia will be here soon. Sit down and we can talk calmly,” I hiss. Elliot glared at me but willingly took the seat by the bed. “I apologize for blurting it out like that. You probably think that I am the biggest dick in the city—don’t agree with me too quickly—but for now we can just blame it on my headache.”

“Knock, knock.” The nurse bustles in and looks at her watch. “Just about med time and your visitors to go I bet.” I don’t recognize this nurse. I’m not really surprised as I have been asleep most of the time. She exits and returns with a plastic cup and meds on a tray. She helps me up and passes me the cup. She pops the pills in my palm and watches me to ensure I take them. “There you are, Mr. Gray. I’m sure you’ll be right as rain soon,” she says. She removes her gaze and turns to Elliot. “I hope you’re not the cause of all the shouting we heard earlier,” she teases. _Or is she flirting with him?_

“No ma’am, that’s all on him,” Elliot still glaring, nods his head toward me. “Don’t worry nurse; I’m leaving now.” He storms toward the door and stops, “Oh and before I forget, I brought you my player in case you get bored.” A sarcastic you’re welcome is all you can hear as leaves.

“I’m sorry you had to see that nurse—” I lean closer to read her name tag, “—Savana.” She is a young and attractive nurse, most likely just a new grad. I had that same enthusiasm when I started my career, but I can bet from the horror stories mom tells from the experienced nurses that the enthusiasm will soon wear. I wait for the usual fawning from young women, but her eyes are still looking at the doorway.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Gray, I’ve witnessed worse,” she says as she rolls her eyes. “Will your brother be okay?” She tosses the pill cup in the recycle bin and heads for the door. “For what it’s worth, I think he’s got most of the yelling out of his system. Give him a couple of days. I have a brother too.”

With my room finally empty and the pain receding from my head, I drift under the sounds of the electrical humming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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